I've just been a horrible bastard, and I'm not proud of it. I'm completely lost as to what to do though, nothing works.
For a bit of background, I suffer two illnesses that cause fatigue - so my existence is pretty much one of battling extreme fatigue where every single thing in my day takes about 50 x more effort than it ever used to. I'm tired of being tired, tired of battling illness, and tired of battling my OH on top. I try my very best to just push on, but there are of course bad days. I work full time, I'm run down because of my illnesses and work stress, I'm working overtime and just had to take
short A/L to try and recoup and catch up on things. In short, I'm not very well.
OH works full time. Higher earner, so does contribute more to bills. I'm in debt, which I'm now trying to sort. But what can I say, I'm just stressed, tired and feel like giving up.
So, the actual problem... house work. I do all the washing, drying folding washing etc every day, his job is to do the dishes, each day. He will pick up a hoover, tidy and sweep of his own accord. It's mostly me who mows the lawns, does shopping etc.
My problem is, though the household jobs were agreed, he doesn't stick to it. Dirty dishes will be left piling up in the sink for days, getting in the way of me able to use the sink without emptying it all and putting it back. I can't just go and cook a dinner, as we're short on pots and pans, cutlery, and space because often the dirty dishes aren't just in the sink, they're accumulating over the kitchen sides, too. I find it disgusting - it's dirty, messy, gets in the way and means that unless I'm prepared to do the dishes on top of the other things I do, when it's supposed to be his job, I simply can't even cook a decent meal as all the kitchen ware is dirty. I have tried speaking to him nicely about it, twice this week in fact - he agreed and has just 'forgotten', AGAIN. I always try talking about it, explaining that it doesn't feel fair, and it's actually hindering me being able to do things like cook dinner or use the sink to fill a bucket of water etc. Last time I washed all the windows in the house, I told him it was his turn next - he didn't want to so said he'd hire a window cleaner - this was 4 months ago. He keeps forgetting... despite my constant nagging.
I'm tired of nagging. We're both messy people, I'm ill and just trying my best to get through my own shit, I don't have the energy for his as well. I've told him this.
I shouted, swore at him about it today. Bins full, so rather than have to empty the kitchen bin he's left a pizza box with left over food on the kitchen counter - meaning foods left about all day unless I do it, of course. Told him that since he was on late I'd now have to do his job of washing all the dishes as well as my own stuff before I could cook dinner... his response was "So?". I called him a sexist pig thinking it was my job to use my A/L doing his jobs as well as my own. I also called him a cunt. I'm not proud. I'm at the end of my tether.
I've spent my A/L so far getting blood tests, unblocking drains, hoovering up, doing deep clean on washing machine and getting washing/drying done, shopping orders, cleaning kitchen. I wanted to go out today to take some clothes to the charity shop and go visit a store I like. It takes a long time by bus. I feel overwhelmed and like I won't have time to do this, on top of everything else.
Sorry it's long. Please be kind, but very honest. Am I being unreasonable?