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AIBU?

to want to have sex and do yoga?

26 replies

CabbagePatch91 · 02/10/2018 12:31

The title makes it look as though I want to have sex while doing yoga, and while this sounds fun, that's not quite what I mean (puts a whole new meaning on downward dog...).

Anyway, I'm 6 weeks postpartum tomorrow (Wednesday 3rd Oct). My labour was quick but I suffered a 3rd degree tear as well as a labia tear - not to mention the fact that I took a VERY strange reaction to gas and air and morphine, but that's another story...

Despite feeling that I'd never be able to use my foof in any capacity ever again for the first couple of weeks, I now feel completely back to normal and very comfortable down there. I usually (very luckily) heal quite quickly and this was no different.

So, I've been feeling a tad amorous of late and am ready to get back in the sheets as well as wanting to get back onto my yoga mat. So I asked my health visitor if this was ok and she said it was absolutely fine as long as I felt ok and ready. Yes to both.

Then, I had an unrelated doctors appointment and asked her the same question. She recommends that I wait 8 weeks to commence both but thinks it's great I feel that I'm healing. I understand that she's the professional and I should listen to her but I've looked and felt my nether regions and it all seems fine not to mention the fact that I feel good and ready.

Anyone have any similar experiences or can advise what I should do?

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SpoonBlender · 02/10/2018 12:36

Go with the doctor. A third degree tear is serious and will potentially be at risk of opening up again - you really don't want that while DTD or snake pose! How's the labial one healing up? If it's still sore when you poke it, it's not done yet.

Sorry, but you really should try and keep your foof unexercised just for a little bit longer...

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LordEmsworth · 02/10/2018 12:37

I am a yoga teacher and I'd be happy for you to be in my class, as long as you took it gently. (And I do turn away people sometimes for medical reasons). I am not a doctor but if you are a regular yoga student, I would trust you to look after yourself and also give you gentler variations if needed.

I am not a sexpert but if you feel ready then I would follow the same principle...

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Aprilislonggone · 02/10/2018 12:37

Practice yoga at home for a fortnight, be sure neither of your nether regions will be farting and showing you up!

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Dontfeellikeamillenial · 02/10/2018 12:38

6 weeks pp with a 3rd degree tear and you wanna get jiggy with it?

I'd wait.

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applesisapple5 · 02/10/2018 12:40

You know your own body, it's up to you! I'm sure you're not going to be going at it like a jackhammer while in king pigeon, just take it easy and listen to your own body!
If you've been managing gentle exercise - core work, pelvic floor exercises etc - did the Dr give any medical reason why to wait, ie Has the wound healed sufficiently?

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mistermagpie · 02/10/2018 12:46

I had an episiotomy and labia year with DS1. I was back running short distances at six weeks which was fine. Didn't fancy sex that soon but gave it a go at nine weeks post birth and it was ok.

I'd say if you feel fine then go for it but take both activities gently!

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mistermagpie · 02/10/2018 12:46

Labia tear not year

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CabbagePatch91 · 02/10/2018 12:53

My labia tear seems to have heeled nicely. Honestly, I wasn't even aware of it in the grand scheme of things. I absolutely don't feel it now nor can I really see it.

I've been doing yoga for years and did pregnancy yoga when pregnant. I've been walking quite a lot since the birth and keep quite active. My partner and I also had one ssxual encounter (not penetrative) and all was good.

The doctor hadn't even looked at my bits before saying that I should wait. He just looked at my notes and advised.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice.

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SPARKS17 · 02/10/2018 12:54

No tearing (c-section) but I was back at yoga class 6 weeks on the dot and feel brilliant for it.

Can't comment on sex and a tear, but for both I would say listen to your body if it doesnt feel right stop doing it and try again later!

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Skittlesandbeer · 02/10/2018 13:03

Maybe attempt it, but be ready to back out if there’s any issue (mental or physical). You don’t want to jump in too early and repent. You could risk giving yourself a complex.

Sounds like you have a great yoga & sex life. Protect both for the future by being a bit more cautious than you want to.

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MegMez · 02/10/2018 13:12

Yoga – talk to your teacher. It might make sense to go along and try it at your own pace. Your teacher might have experience in post-partum classes or maybe can recommend other classes nearby. I went to some post partum physio/pilates classes at my local MLU and they were great – all built around a post birth body and we all had our newborns in the room. Your yoga teacher could/should advise what you’ll be able to do safely and comfortably at home. I think it will be great for your mental health and well being to get back into the swing of it.

Sex – take it at your own pace. Be gentle. Think of it like any scar or wound – it might be healed and feel ok but might need easing back in. (!) Oh and don’t forget that contraception! It would’ve been too soon for me my first time (2nd degree but had an infection, didn’t heal well, plus I was terrified).

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TheOrigBrave · 02/10/2018 13:29

Are you still losing lochia? I believe you're not meant to do inversion poses in yoga during this time.

It was my pelvic floor which held me back from resuming exercise, but I am a runner not a yoga person.

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OneOrgasmicBirthPlease · 02/10/2018 13:37

Cabbage, I probably have little useful advice but love your spirit.

I only really want to have sex and do yoga too.

Do you have a specific postnatal class you could go to? I found them amazing, usually baby comes too (happy memories of humming different sounds into my tiny DD's delicious little body). Failing that, the amazing Shiva Rea has a postnatal yoga DVD, which I found great.

As for sex, two weeks is not that long in the grand scheme of things, so I'd wait. I was ready to start having sex at the six week mark, but when we tried DH complained that the scar tissue inside my vagina after my 2nd degree tear was scratching him! I saw the GP about it, but it was nothing to worry about and the scar tissue reabsorbed itself.

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DarlingNikita · 02/10/2018 13:39

As an ex-yoga teacher I have to say that, if someone asked about coming back to class in your situation, I'd always ask what their doctor recommended and go with that. Better safe than sorry. Can you do less strenuous or different yoga for a bit, so at least you keep the thread of your practice? Breathing, meditation, postures with the arms/very gentle leg raises or stretches?

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AhYeahOkayThen · 02/10/2018 13:41

I don't think it's good for anyone that hasn't examined you to decide whether or not you've healed well enough for sex.

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OneOrgasmicBirthPlease · 02/10/2018 13:43

Forgot to say, after my first baby I was on such a high, I really wanted to have an orgasm, but was a little worries about the stitches. It was literally less than 48 hours after my (very straightforward and pleasant) delivery and I was asking DH for advice. He is a medical doctor with some relevant expertise. I quote his response, 'DW, if you have an orgasm strong enough to split your stitches, we'll have to go to the papers.' I did come and all was fine.

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Secretmum41 · 02/10/2018 13:50

one your dh’s response is hilarious, I love it! 😂

OP ... if all feels fine I’d give it a go. You seem sensible in your approach so I’m sure you’ll stop if it doesn’t feel right.

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madeoficecream · 02/10/2018 13:58

I had an episiotomy and all the stitches fell out and the would was gaping. Still managed to have sex after a month and it was completely fine... just a little tight/pulling round the scar but it didnt do it any damage at all.
Just go for it if you feel fine (but gently and stop if it does become painful) Doctors have to say things according to statistics etc so as to be safest and give advice which covers their backs.... but you know your body and if you want to give it a go just give it a go... just make sure not to push it if you do feel it hurting because that could cause damage.

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Thatstheendofmytether · 02/10/2018 14:01

I had sex arpund 2 to 3 weeks after giving birth to my second son, normal delivery, quite a few stitches. It wasn't pleasant, I have to say it felt pretty uncomfortable and weird and my fanny is clenching just thinking back to it 😂. I would say wait a while longer.

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UserHistory · 02/10/2018 14:12

My flexibility went through the roof when I was pregnant and I had to go easy after the birth as my pelvis was prone to separating with SPD.

When I went back to the mat, I damaged my wrist as the ligaments weren’t strong enough still. I was doing downward dog, so nothing especially difficult or contorted.

Years later, I have trouble with my wrist because I was impatient and assumed it was business as usual.

I’d take it easy. Go for walks and do a different restorative yoga and a pranayama routine.
Read Geeta Iyengar about practicing yoga as a woman.
It’s only an extra two weeks.
Practice patience, and self care.. after all, isn’t that part of yoga too?

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Scatteredthoughtss · 02/10/2018 14:16

YABU. Why ask the doctor if you didn't want to go with the answer?

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grannyscobwebs · 02/10/2018 14:52

I love the fact that you are feeling so confident to get back in the sack! Good on you.

Without being totally crass...it might be worth starting with something smaller (battery operated) before going the whole hog! Just so you know how it all feels down there.

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NoNoCharlieRascal · 02/10/2018 14:56

I can't help with the yoga, but I also had a 3rd degree tear and it took a good 6 months before I was able to enjoy sex properly, although everything was healed well. Just take it slow and easy!

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NotANotMan · 02/10/2018 14:59

The advice has always been 6 weeks hasn't it? As long as no bleeding or soreness. I had a 3rd degree tear and had sex at 6 weeks, very gently, all was fine

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LisaSimpsonsbff · 02/10/2018 15:29

The cost/benefit analysis on waiting two weeks seems pretty weighted towards waiting... The worst case scenario if you go ahead is you open up the wound and cause further problems that could take months to heal, or indeed which could never heal properly. The worst case scenario of waiting is that you've missed out on two weeks of yoga and sex out of your whole life. If the doctor had told you to wait six months then I think it would be very different, but I just don't think it's worth the risk for the sake of two weeks, which will go by in a flash.

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