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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there’s no way off the breadline

51 replies

MrsHoodwink · 02/10/2018 12:07

For lack of a better word anyway

Single mum of two that’s on benefits and doesnt want to be my rent is paid by housing benefit. I really want a well-paying job and a comfortable life for me and my children but I feel like there’s no way out

I’d happily go back to education but this means I would have to pay for childcare for 2yo (after the free 16hrs) and I would be in debt every week. I’ve no family or friends to help and this is my biggest problem. I also can’t afford a car to drive to the nearest university (which is about 30miles away)

I have good GCSEs but nothing higher, if I get a 9-5 then once I’d paid for rent (as working would stop my housing and council tax benefit), tax and nursery I’d be in big trouble financially

Is there no way out? Has anyone managed to work their way out of the benefit system because I feel like there’s no hope and I get more and more depressed every day Sad

OP posts:
Rednaxela · 02/10/2018 12:10

Post the numbers let's have a look what's feasible.

What is your rent and bills? Nursery cost do you know what it would be or just guessing? Likewise student loan. Have you sat down with a notebook and calculator?

Finally child maintenance. If father of DC is not paying then time to get that sorted through official agency.

malificent7 · 02/10/2018 12:11

You can get childcare contributions if you do he.What about starting when your child is at school or nursery?

WrongKindOfFace · 02/10/2018 12:15

What are your local education options? Do you qualify for help with childcare if doing a course? Are there any burseries available through a local college etc?

What job did you do before? What skills do you have? Can you go back part time? What help can you get with childcare etc?

Seniorschoolmum · 02/10/2018 12:16

A vocational qualification would probably be better for you. What do you want to do? What are you good at? Something creative - perhaps start with a marketing diploma, or more process driven, there are different accounting qualifications that give you access to a reasonable job without a degree. Or a qualification as a data officer. Since GDPR companies are tightening up on data management and that can be done remotely. Or HR maybe a good area for you..

How far is the nearest college? What does it offer? Even full time courses seldom involve full time attendance. Some have as little as 10 teaching hours a week but you have to be prepared to study a lot in the evenings.
And if you are on benefits they are sometimes free or certainly reduced in price.
What industry is there near you? Eg, the Thames valley has a lot of IT companies.

Camomila · 02/10/2018 12:19

If GCSEs are your highest qualification and your on benefits an ACCESS/open uni course will probably be free and your DC will be eligible for free childcare. Maybe give your local FE college a ring and see what courses are on offer.

If you want a good news story my dad did it from a not great start :) His only qualifications were a foreign middle school certificate! He has health problems and got interview coaching with scope...which led to a little local job that he was brilliant at so kept getting offered training courses and promotions. He know works full time in a professional role (local council so can have time off for hospital etc) xx

spaceraidersrock · 02/10/2018 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 02/10/2018 12:20

Open uni. Then you don't need childcare. You'd have the odd day of meeting a tutor or taking an exam etc, but it's completely doable without having to pay for childcare. You could do full time but work when it suits you; like in the evening instead of during the day or whatever.

There's really no reason not to have a look.

mummytothree87 · 02/10/2018 12:21

Have you thought about an open uni course. if you earn under a certain amount you can get a grant that pays the course fees for you and it doesnt affect benefits. im currently doing a business management degree with accounting 3 years. i work in care doing nightshift and study whilst kids r in bed on my nights off x

TheFifthKey · 02/10/2018 12:25

As a single parent you could get a good proportion of your childcare paid for through tax credits - use the online calculators to see what you might be entitled to.

MojoMoon · 02/10/2018 12:29

Where (roughly) in country are you? In or near a sizeable town or city?

What jobs did you do before children?

How are your maths and computing skills?

A vocational qualification is probably most sensible but it needs to be something has jobs in your area

glintandglide · 02/10/2018 12:32

Yes there is. But it’ll take years- don’t hey carried away with yourself and just start the first step.

Firstly what do you want to do? Education isn’t necessarily the way, and it comes with all the problems you mention. There are many jobs you could get into with GCSEs and work your way up or train on the job.

MojoMoon · 02/10/2018 12:32

I'd be a bit more cautious about open uni. It's a long haul (maybe five years) before you have a qualification and even then you won't (necessarily) have any relevant work experience so getting first " good " job is not guaranteed to be easy

I'd second going to to your local further education college. You may qualify for free child care and they have very vocationally focused courses.

Storm4star · 02/10/2018 12:33

I was in your situation. I did an access course first (I also didn't have any A levels). It was a long time ago but, if memory serves, I was able to get extra money for childcare. As I do remember the kids being at a childminders after school and I know I wouldn't have been able to afford it! I believe the same applies at Uni. I was lucky in that I entered into a profession where the degree was part of the training and paid for by the employer, although that's probably hard to find now!

Don't go out and just get a minimum wage job now. In the long run it isn't the best option as you would then find it nigh on impossible to take time out to return to further education. I know there's people here who look down on single mums and think they should all be out working! But you need to think of the long term future of your family. A few years invested in education/training now will be far better long term.

Look at jobs you might be interested in doing, but also look at areas that are understaffed. My job is always understaffed! So now I work on a freelance basis and earn very good money. Secure in the knowledge I can always find work. No point qualifying in something where there's a surplus and you will struggle to find work.

You can 100% get out of your current situation. It takes time, dedication and hard work but is definitely achievable.

glintandglide · 02/10/2018 12:36

I am struggling a bit with the answers to be honest. What kind of job are you going to walk into with a degree or access course? A low paying one, unless you’re following a specific path ie nursing. You’ll have lots of debt, and you’ll start off at the entry level with everyone else.

OP what is it you want to do?

SpoonBlender · 02/10/2018 12:43

Support payments are scaled to keep you going but no more. The system isn't strictly designed to keep you from lifting yourself out of it, but that's often the effect.

Open University is an excellent option, I'd also commend that. They do vocational qualifications as well as academic, so you've got the choice. Straight into academic would be hard without A-levels, I think. www.open.ac.uk/choose/vocational-qualifications/

constantnightmare88 · 02/10/2018 12:43

Have you looked at doing an access course? You can do them online from home- I think the cost (or it was when I looked in to it) is about £1k- but you can do it in monthly instalments. Or maybe borrow the money from family/friends or get a low interest loan if that’s an option?

Access courses last for 1 year meaning you can then go on to university which offers much more support in terms of finance for you and your D.C.

Storm4star · 02/10/2018 12:45

What kind of job will she walk into with just GCSE's? As I said in my post. OP needs to do her research. But my job paid over 30k starting salary after the 2 years training with no debt. Research is the key.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 02/10/2018 12:46

I think its very difficult when the children are young.
Most people I know who've improved their situation have done so when the kids are at school. Childcare becomes more affordable, time is freed up etc.
Hang on it there- it won't be forever Flowers

GreenMeerkat · 02/10/2018 12:50

Would you be interested in nursing? There's a lot of bursaries and funding available for nursing degrees (including childcare). There may be a foundation pathway where you wouldn't need a levels, or you could do a levels first by distance learning.

Might be worth looking into if you're interested in that path.

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 02/10/2018 12:51

I'd wait till they're in school.

TimIsHavingABadDay · 02/10/2018 12:56

Of course there is a way out. Do a degree with the open uni. You will get a loan to cover tuition and it works around your family. and they are BRILLIANT! I did a BA with them and then an MA with my local uni....I have no gone back to the OU to do a degree in STEM.

glintandglide · 02/10/2018 12:56

What kind of job will she walk into with just GCSE's?

All sorts of offices jobs- temping first if need be. Why would these be any different to the job you’d get after 5 years of an open university degree in business administration or something?

Jaxhog · 02/10/2018 12:57

Can't your children's father help with finances?

glintandglide · 02/10/2018 12:58

I agree nursing would be good if you’re cut out for it. You can also work as bank staff as a healthcare assistant and get paid for it whilst studying

AlphaBravo · 02/10/2018 13:00

There really isn't a way out until they're older or you somehow land a £40k a year job after doing a degree with the Open Uni.

I've been working out the maths recently. It's virtually impossible.