To want to feel important?

[StylishMummy]

I have 2 under 2, still BF DD2, I have my own business, a full time job, ageing relatives that need support and pretty constant physical health issues, namely severe asthma, which isn't helped by this cold weather.

I never get to switch off.
I never get to feel like I'm important
I never get that buzz that I used to

I feel like all of my energy goes on keeping a nice house, the DC looked after, the business going etc etc.

We have debt so no option currently to give up either income stream. I need to lose weight to help health issues but rarely have time to do much more than scoff a sandwich. Twice I've had the day at home alone whilst my lovely MIL takes DDs but it was spent cleaning, sorting, doing desperately needed business admin and expressing milk.

I'm craving time and money, I used to adore going shopping and finding an outfit and feeling attractive. I'm now constantly rocking a 'mum bun', I never wear makeup anymore and my tits are near my navel.

DH is truly amazing and will happily send me for a bath or let me sleep in on weekend, but I need more! I want a day to myself every so often. It's so hard to admit but I resent BF now as even when I'm not with DD2, I'm tied to a pump!

How do I stop this? Or am I forever doomed to feel inferior?

It's so hard when they're young but it does get easier. Ask MIL to have the dc and make plans for you. Do whatever makes you happy, meet up with friends for lunch, go into town shopping, have a spa day ( yes I know it gets laughed at on here but for some of us it helps )

Just do it. Phone MIL now!

Why don't you stop breastfeeding? There is no point in doing it if it makes you resentful. And the benefits of a happy mum far outweigh any arguable health benefits for your child.

So why dont you stop bf. Your baby will be fine op. I stopped after only a few months and it helped me so much to have Dh share that and not be always tied to that one task. My DC is completely healthy and fine.
You need time for yourself as well.

Stopping feeding isn't what I want, I fed DD1 for a year so feel extremely compelled to feed DD2 for s year as well.

I just feel like I'm bottom of a very big heap and it's a bit much sometimes

How old is your youngest? don’t feel bloody obliged, I couldn’t tell you if my mum bf me or my elder sister longer?!
Re: feeling low with no time for yourself, I think it’s inevitable until they get a little older, with the amount you have on your plate.

This too shall pass, before you know it they’ll be at school. Try and appreciate the little things, focus on the positive. It’s hard but honestly, it flies by

Why can't you have a day to yourself? Is it because of BFing?

Okay, I'm CFBC, but I have an older sister.

Do you think we have ever, EVER had a conversation about who was BF'd for longer? Is this a conversation that has ever taken place between siblings?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say 'no', because NOBODY CARES.

Stop beating yourself up. Get out and do stuff. Your kids will be fine.

People have made a very wise and sensible suggestion. When you stop bf you suddenly feel that you aren't chained down any more. Don't just say no and give excuses OP! Do it! You know it makes sense!

Op you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself........ if you choose to continue to breastfeed then you will probably have to be resigned to having little time for another year...but please remind yourself it's not for ever....and you can change your mind if you want..

Re diet, a poor diet can make you feel really sluggish so can you just swop some things, ie instead of a sandwich, make the same but with ryvitas or nice flatbread, less calories and a bit of variety.

Get berries for good instant energy snacks, blueberries and strawberries with an oatcake, make a good mid morning/mid afternoon pick me ups, again less calories than biscuits or processed bars and much tastier.

I had 2 under 2 and no help ( living overseas with DH who travelled for work constantly) and my lifesaver was putting toddler in playpen with music dvd on, and baby on a pile of towels in the bathroom whilst l showered, washed hair and did a quick blowdry...l did this every morning without fail, to feel human!

Buy some good bras, l threw out my nursing bras as they depressed me so much after DD, and just used bigger sized pretty underwired ones for Ds, l could still feed him, but they gave much better support in between and looked much nicer.

I feel for you but looking back that stage is brief and life becomes easier...

I had 2 under 2 and felt just like you.

I could've given up breastfeeding, but I didn't want to, and understand why you don't want to either. If it's important to you, it's important to you.

It's awful while you're in the depths of baby/toddler drudgery, and while it feels utterly interminable, in hindsight, it's amazing how quickly the years pass.

And suddenly everything starts to get a bit easier, and that awful weight of monotony lifts.

It won't be like this forever.