Aibu to contact him ?

[Makeyourbloodymindup]

I met a man a month ago and have slept with him on three occasions. After the last time, he stopped making as much effort to keep in touch then sent a message apologising, saying he’d got things going on with his job and ex but that he still wanted to see me again. I said I hoped to see him soon and left it at that. That was a week ago and there’s been no contact since although I’ve regularly seen him online.

I’m assuming he isn’t wanting to see me again which is why I’m so annoyed at him sending me a message making out he wanted to. I’m fed up of wondering if he will be in touch again and just want to know for definite where I stand as it will stop me pondering. I thought I’d send one message basically asking how he is and to let me know one way or another what is going on. But I’m unsure how to word it without sounding pathetic.

Well he got you into bed. Now hes moving on.

Don't do it, as frustrating as that is. You make the decision to end it now. You don't want to be with someone who has so little respect for you.

Why don't you decide where he stands instead - and forget him?

He has let you know one way or another: his silence speaks volumes. Move on.

I know it's not nice to be left hanging, but don't message him again. If he was interested, he would contact you regularly. As it is, his final message sounds like he would like to keep you on the back burner, just in case. Don't let yourself just be an available option to him.

Nope don't send it.

It sounds like he's politely trying to tell you he doesn't want to see you again.

No matter what was going on in his life, if he really wanted you he'd at least keep messaging.

If he's found time to be online, I'd guess the one message to you was a ploy to keep you stashed in the "fallback position". A great quote from a recent thread, "you are not a walk-on part in the movie of his life" - you deserve better.

Nooooooo don’t message him. Don’t be that girl. You put out and now there’s nothing to peruse. Forget him and move on.....and whilst you’re entitled to have Alex with whomever you fancy that wants to, if you want a long term relationship I’d really advise waiting a while x

I think his message about his job and his ex were his cowardly way of backing out instead of being honest.

I think you'll get more excuses if you contact him now. Why not just leave it? I doubt this will go anywhere.

Read "He's Just Not That Into You" to help you navigate the dating world.

www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-marie-jenkins/why-women-dont-recognize-_b_11705780.html

In summary, if a guy is interested, you will know, there is no second guessing. If you have to second guess, then he is not interested

This guy doesn't sound worth your time, OP!

Nope, move on. He's only interested in one thing and will hurt you in the end

That’s what I thought tbh, he’d at least keep in touch to make sure I was still keen to see him regardless of anything else in his life. I did really fancy him like mad so I don’t feel used as I chose to sleep with him but I know I will find it easier to put him behind me if an attempt at contact is rebuked and I can write him off as a player.

Don’t message him, he has ghosted you and you need to accept that. People do it for all kinds of reasons but mostly because they’re just not that into the person. Sorry.

If he has stuff going on with his ex I think you’re well rid of him tbh

"but I know I will find it easier to put him behind me if an attempt at contact is rebuked and I can write him off as a player."

So you are going to message him then?

No, I will leave it. Thank you for the advice. He knows where I am.

Good decision 👍🏻