To have told the firemen?

[Mrsglitterfairy]

To cut a long story short, there is a boy (let’s call him bob) who has picked on my ds10 for 4 years firstly at school but last year he got removed from the school for bad behaviour. His brother still goes to the school and he has friends in common with DS and has recently added him on PlayStation and last week sent him a threatening voice message over the platform.
Well this evening, Dh & DS has gone to the park by our house for a kick about and ‘bob’ was there. He didn’t see Dh at first and started giving crap to DS until he realised Dh was there and soon shut up.
As Dh & DS were leaving the park they saw ‘bob’ taking a wheelie bin into the park over to the football cages. Thought no more of it although strange until I went out 15 mins later and saw that there was a fire in the park. Anyway, stopped to speak to the firemen who confirmed it was a fire in a wheelie bin by the cages. I then told them about Dh seeing ‘bob’ and gave them his full name. They said that they will pass the info to the police who may or may not take it further if they know this child.
So really my AIBU is wibu to ‘tell on’ this boy? Should I have stayed out of it?
Part of me did it as if was obviously an awful thing for him to do and he should be reprimanded but also a little part of me did it as I’m so fed up of the way he’s treated my DS and nothing being done about it.
I’m now second guessing myself, Dh and my mum say I did the right thing but I strangely feel guilty I’m case ‘bob’ gets in trouble.

Putting aside the issues between your DS and Bob, you passed on relevant information to the fire brigade who may or may not refer the matter to police.
They can ascertain who was involved and go from there.
You did the right thing for your community.

“Part of me did it as if was obviously an awful thing for him to do and he should be reprimanded but also a little part of me did it as I’m so fed up of the way he’s treated my DS and nothing being done about it.”

I don’t see how either of these reasons could be considered U.

You did the right thing x

You did the right thing. You dealt only in facts. You haven't said you saw him start the fire or anything so that's up to them to ascertain.

Sounds like “Bob” needs an intervention. You’ve probably done the kid a favour.

Yes that’s true, I literally gave them the facts that Dh saw bob at such a time taking the bin to that area of the park.
Thanks for the reassurance that I did the right thing, I might actually be able to sleep now rather than lying here feeling guilty for some reason

I'd have done the same

If he’s a potential arsonist you may have saved lives in the future by scaring him off that path if he gets a talking to by a fireman.

Absolutely done the right thing. Someone set a wheelie bin fire against my ex’s side fence in the middle of the night. Wrote off the car, melted the conservatory, destroyed a fence and the drive and if someone hadn’t been on their way to shift work and spotted it and raised the alarm could’ve been fatal. If he was involved or even knows who was, it could make a difference.

*firefighter, not fireman. We get wheelie bin fires all the time, but good to give crews the heads up. It would take multiple repeat calls for them to involve the police really.

Bob sounds like a pain in the arse. And he needs some help. You did the right thing to tell on Bob.

Arson kills people, there is a reason it has such a high criminal penalty. You did the right thing

No you were definitely not being unreasonable, not on any front. I would have done the same.

Arson is a crime which is a red flag for other much more serious crimes, and obviously can be devastating in itself. Bob sounds like a very troubled child but I hope the police do follow it up.

Definitely sounds like “Bob” deserved an “education”

I'd have told them as well.

A wheelie bin in a park comes before a firework through a letterbox. You did the right thing.

The police won’t prosecute him if they don’t have evidence or a confession but they are able to investigate and, hopefully, —scare the crap out of him— intervene and prevent it from happening again. If he did it, he deserves ten punishment, if he didn’t, he will have had a visit from the police. No big deal.

You did the right thing.

Definitely the right thing.

Even if the firefighters tell the police,there is no proof that Bob lit the fire so they won't do anything. Bob could have gone home in that 15mins and someone else lit it. Presumably it was him but can't be proved.

YANBU. You were a material witness to the actions of a suspect in the minutes immediately before a crime was committed. Would you be reticent about telling what you saw if the crime was something other than arson?

The taboo against tale telling among schoolchildren is about not being hypocritical. They all get away with whatever naughtiness they can, and when a specific instance is caught then helping identify the perpetrator is dishonourable if fate and chance might mean that it is your own infraction that gets caught next time.

When the infraction is an actual crime, the taboo should not apply except if the putative tell-tale is also a criminal.

Thank you all for your replies, I feel much leas guilty now.
Although when I see the parents at school in a min picking their other child up I’m going to have to avoid eye contact in case I get really flustered

You were right.
The fire service may have a Fire Setters team who can meet with the boy to try and prevent him doing it again.

'in case bob gets into trouble'. You have done him a favour hopefully, he needs a word or two.