To present teenage bridesmaids with their dresses - no choice?

[IslandG1rl]

I have rather had my arm twisted by guilt tripping relatives to have three tween/teenage bridesmaids from the family. Bless them, two are super excited, one a bit more "meh" but in a polite way.

We are incredibly squeezed on budget. I'm not having any adult bridesmaids. I have said we will get them dresses but been looking at prices and don't want to fork out over £100 each for something they are unlikely to wear again. AIBU to get them online on H&M for £30 and simply present them as fait a complit? (assuming they fit).

I was thinking of ordering a selection and sending some back, but I really want to select the dresses myself rather than go looking round a mall with the girls in tow, so as to contain cost. I'm sure the two keen ones have visions of going to a proper bridal shop etc. Am I a big meany?

I think that's perfectly reasonable, tbh. Provided that you choose nice dresses...

Is there any leeway on colour/style/fabric? I went to a bridal shop with my friend and her sister, she told us the colour, our challenge was to find a style that suited us both. Then we had them made by a dressmaker in the chosen colour.

At the very least, could you not order a few styles from H&M and have a trying on session? Make an event of it? I’d stick a load on a credit card and then return before the bill came. ASOS might be another low budget option.

Just get what you can afford and present them. As bridesmaid, you don’t get a choice. If they don’t like it, they can just not be bridesmaids. I think you’re a mug for letting other people persuade you to have bridesmaids, tho.

Really good idea Testing

I have chosen colour and told one of them the colour - the nonplussed one who seemed fine, but not the other two yet. Styles wise I really don't mind and they don't have to match.

I did it with mine! I just sent them a link and asked if they were ok with it then ordered them from monsoon. The youngest really didnt suit it as it was a bit too 'grown up but got her a slightly kiddie version from China in basically exactly the same colour& style.
Not sure if it's mean but was definitely easier!!!

I would suggest the relatives bloody paid for the dresses!!

Both times I was a bridesmaid back in the day, I had no say in the choice of dress.

Buy what you like and if they don't want to wear it then they don't have to be BMs and you return the dress.

Send them links to 2/3 options you have agreed to, if you don’t care that much about them matching.

Maelstrop yup me too! Although it was mainly a gesture for my after a lot of lines in the sand drawn by me, this was something he wanted (they are his fam)

Well if you treat your wedding attendants as worth only the most basic effort, that’s how the dresses will look.

It’s your wedding so as long as you don’t mind it potentially looking basic, go ahead.

I think I’d personally want to see them in a few choices. Happy confident excited girls will look better than ones who just got told “here’s the dress, it fits, Off you go”.

I would do ASOS over H&M as they have a selection that looks a lot more bridesmaidy. Then as others have set bulk order on credit card, do some nibbles and have a teeny night.

I understand the issue, but perhaps you could go for one of those multiway dresses to give them a degree of choice? They have 70% off some of them at Debenhams at the moment, and they are much nicer than anything they have in H&M. www.debenhams.com/plp/the-multiway-collection

Absolutely go gor asos

Or boohoo

www.boohoo.com/womens/dresses/bridesmaids

Why not order them in the same colour from China? If you pay via PayPal you're protected in case they send something crap.

Alternatively you could buy those multi-way dresses on eBay (assuming they're old enough to fit them)?

grow a pair, you dont want bridesmaids so dont have any. tell relatives that you need to economise.

You can pick up some great evening dresses for under £40 quid from some of the high street shops - take the bride out of the name and you shave if £££

www.missguided.co.uk/scuba-bardot-v-plunge-maxi-dress-10108058

www.missguided.co.uk/navy-low-back-lace-maxi-dress-10111694 Lacy dress with train

Joanie.co.uk have some gorgeous bridesmaid type dresses really reasonably priced.

Sorry - joanieclothing.com

Do you have any dressmakers in the family? dd1 had 3 very differently shaped bridesmaids inc dd2 aged 8. Dm bought fabric in a gorgeous colour and made 3 dresses in styles to suit each as her wedding present- similar style but different cut. Looked great and each bm got a bespoke dress that really suited her.

Wow Loki I would NEVER have looked at Boohoo - would have assumed they would look too cheap but those seem really quite nice

Special see my earlier response to that - it was a gesture of love to my DP

joanieclothing.com/?s=georgette&post_type=product