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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Photos of strangers' children on social media

17 replies

Clandestino · 01/10/2018 15:51

An ex-FB friend posted a photo of a child sitting on a bus on FB, the face disguised with a badly executed Photoshop (kind of like when you use a marker to paint something over but features still visible).
This was to initiate a discussion about how rude the children are these days and disrespectful because the about 9 year old girl with sitting there, smiling while adults were standing.
Mind you, there wasn't a frail old person in sight but still. A child shouldn't be sitting on a bus, they need to stand. If they sit, it should be on the parents' lap. If a mother lets her child sit while she is standing over the child, it presumably teaches the child that it is superior to its mother and other adults.

I called her out on this - that's why I'm now blocked and she's an ex-friend and told her that it's also disrespectful to post badly disguised photos of children on FB and making them a bad example and publicly shame them rather than sorting this out with their parents if she believes the child has done some wrong but clearly this hasn't come through.
So AIBU for thinking public shaming of children doesn't belong on the internet and we shouldn't be making photos of children on a public transport or anywhere and post them on FB, even if we attempt to disguise the face? TBH, if that were someone I know, I'd have recognised them straight away.

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Clandestino · 01/10/2018 15:52

Just to clarify - I don't think children should only stand on the bus, it's was her opinion, not mine, I think it's utter bollocks.

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CadyHeron · 01/10/2018 16:05

YANBU, I love social media as much as anyone but really hate the fact people tend to upload pictures of other people without their knowledge, children or otherwise!
A local FB group is awful for it, putting pictures up to shame people and pile in on them.

Whereisthecoffee · 01/10/2018 16:27

Yanbu
The child also may have a medical condition that makes it difficult to stand for long periods just because they are young it doesn’t automatically mean they need it less. Also at six they would have paid for the seat so as entitled to sit as anyone else.

TheDarkPassenger · 01/10/2018 16:36

A fully able bodied adult can hold themselves up on a jerky bus far better than a 9 year old girl

Lethaldrizzle · 01/10/2018 16:38

I agree. I would stand up for a child

Pissedoffdotcom · 01/10/2018 16:41

Hope the parent of the child in the photo gets wind & goes batshit tbh. There are numerous reasons for a child to be sitting. Entitled adults don't get to shove a child off a seat purely because they are adults.

kitkatsky · 01/10/2018 16:43

Agreed. I don't expect 7yo DD to stand for an able bodied adult, tho when there is leg space I pop her on my knee (to her embarrassment!) 2 years ago when she was 5 I was on bus with her and my broken leg on crutches and someone said I should make her stand, but I couldn't stand with her to stop her wobbling or hold her on my knee without great pain to my leg and it was a horrible experience, if I can stand with DD now I will, but I wouldn't allow her to wobble around for an able bodied adult to sit and I would be furious if pics of her sitting sound their way onto social media. It's not relevant for her, but not all disabilities are visible either, even I got short shrift for sitting on a crowded bus (admittedly there were older ppl standing) when I had a neon pink cast from thigh to ankle

LavendarGreen · 01/10/2018 16:48

I would have hunted that person down and gone batshit if they had posted a pic of MY young child on social media. Who the fuck does she think she is? Entitled bint. Hmm

YANBU.

staydazzling · 01/10/2018 16:49

I cannot believe anyone would think posting a child online to shame them is ok, yanbu.

Chocolatecookiesandmilk · 01/10/2018 16:52

I would be pissed off if someone posted a pic of my child actually doing something wrong onto social media, let alone something like that. I'd expect to be spoken to as a parent, shaming kids publicly like that is disgusting.

ilooovechristmas · 01/10/2018 16:52

If I ever found out someone took a pic of my child and posted it on Facebook I'd go ballistic

Fatasfook · 01/10/2018 16:56

My 10 year old daughter has problems with her hips and legs and has to get regular physio and is in pain most of the time. You would not know this to look at her. I would absolutely stand and let her sit. People really are shit.

Haireverywhere · 01/10/2018 17:00

@staydazzling - my thoughts too. I think it's unacceptable to have posted that on social media.

iklboo · 01/10/2018 17:01

I take it your friend didn't speak to the child's mother about her 'outrage'?

Clandestino · 01/10/2018 17:21

@iklboo of course not. I was disgusted and I hope the post will eventually come to attention of someone who knows the parents. I am blocked so I don't know. But I am glad sanity prevails and people think it's wrong. I would probably end up in prison if someone tried shaming my daughter like that.

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iklboo · 01/10/2018 17:27

@Clandestino - Sorry pressed send too soon and it ended up looking like I was being arsey at you. I'm truly not and I'm sorry if it came across that way. I totally agree your friend was out of order.

Clandestino · 01/10/2018 18:20

@iklboo - that's OK, I didn't really take it bad.
I was really very pissed off with my ex-friend and I am very happy to be blocked.
We may disagree on how children should be treated etc. but shaming them like this is rude and inconsiderate.

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