should I get DSs haircut?

[overagain]

More a WWYD, rather than AIBU.

DS is 2.5 and has very slow growing hair. At the back it is now shoulder length, just about but at the front he looks like he has a receding hairline. The top is somewhere in the middle. I was similar at his age and have slow - normal hair growth now.

DH thinks we should cut it. I don't think it's necessary. He doesn't get mistaken for a girl (and what if he did?) and it's easy to maintain and doesn't get in his eyes.

DS couldn't care less. He has absolutely no option on the matter.

I'm very much of the opinion that kids DSs age have no choice in some things (teeth cleaning, being in his carseat in the car and medical stuff), limited choice in others (getting dressed, having nappy changed etc) and almost total choice in others (whether to eat the meal in front of him, what toys to play with out of the selection available, what TV show to watch during screen time). I think hair cutting falls in to the latter for me, unless it causes and issue for him that he cannot understand, which it currently isn't (no comments from peers etc).

DHs reasoning is simple - it's long, it needs cutting, it looks a bit unruly.

So we are at a stalemate. WWYD?

The way you've described it doesn't sound like a decent hair style I'd probably cut it

Is this sort of stalemate a frequent thing? No. We're pretty even parents.

Is he stingy no, it's actually me who is stingy on this one! We have 'family money', family savings, DS savings, individual savings and then individual spends. Anything none essential for DS comes out of individual spends (essential is a broad term covering most good, clothing,btoys, Christmas etc and, when he wants it cutting it will cover hair).

Gamerwidow that's my point, it makes no odds to DS whether it is cut or not. So I don't see it needs doing.

Now I've actually read the post properly why on earth would you let your kid walk around with a mullet hairstyle poor kid

anitagreen it isn't a style, it's just how it's grown. I don't see the issue with that.

Jeanclaudejackety and????

But it must look ridiculous why not cut it and let his hair grow in properly?

anitagreen I don't understand. I'm not stopping it growing "properly".

It doesn't look ridiculous. It looks like a 2yo. It's very fine and thin and pale, you can't really see it unless your up close to him.

Your husband is asking you to do something. It bothers him. It seems like a very small thing to do which will make your dh happy and frankly look better. Your dh is asking for a favor, I don't see why you can't help the guy out?

I've had the same with both of my sons. Their hair is very similar to what you describe. I've just cut DS2's hair, a little, simply because his fringe was in his eyes and the shoulder length rest was starting to get in the way/get tangled/very grubby after nursery. He wouldn't tolerate a hair band for long which was my first attempt to resolve it, so I trimmed it short enough to be above his shoulders, into a kind of bob.

The difference to you though is my DP doesn't have an opinion either way and is happy with whatever I do. As others have said, if your DH has strong opinions then he needs to discuss what he wants to do (and why) with you and then sort it out himself.

Yabu for making the kitchen d walk around with a mullet.

Just get it cut. I don't see why it's even an issue.

Ok I think I understand a bit better. You're miffed because DH is asking you to do something you don't care about either way, and the way he's asking is implying that it's "your job" to deal with stuff like this?

(For context: I would do this if my DH asked me to, but we regularly do each other favours with things, like this past weekend I took his belt to the cobblers to have a new hole put in it and shoes to be resoled, and he sewed on a load of new buttons onto my winter coat which had somehow been lost over the summer and printed a whole pile of stuff I had to sign for my DPs and then scanned it in back at his office.)

However if you don't want to do it, just say "Sure, I don't mind if you get his hair cut, you can take him and have it done how you like" (ie. in a month).

Shows you don't mind if he has it done, but you're not going to do it.

*the kid

@Eliza9917 why does it matter what a 2 year olds hair is like, if it's clean and not causing any issues, and not a ridiculous extreme hairstyle? This is just how his hair has grown!

It doesn't look like a mullet, more like a bob with no fringe. So less Pat Sharpe and more Emma Watson's current 'do'.

Xiaoxiong we do each other favours, like I took his suit for dry cleaning. But this is unnecessary and can wait until he has free time. Once DS asks for it to be done I'll be happy to do it.

AssassinatedBeauty exactly.

Your child won't know what a haircut is as he's not been to a barber or hairdresser, surely? So he won't be able to ask, not for ages and ages.

Ime better to go for regular trims to get the child used to the process.

FlibbertyGiblets he's seen his dad get his done and he has cut dolls hair.

Just cut it your husband doesn't like it the way his hair is sounds abit poor just give it a trim so the hair can grow properly

Hair grows "properly" without needing to be trimmed!

So you admit your DH has little time to sort out a trip to the barbers and that if he did go for his first hair cut with you he would be calmer, making it a nicer experience. However, you are still refusing to take him because you feel it should be DH who takes him because he's the one who thinks it needs cutting?

I don't get the logic, just take him to have a haircut, it doesn't matter in the long run and your DS doesn't care either way.

I don’t see it as doing my DH a favour, or creating a situation where I end up doing all the appointments - I see it as teaching my DC about self care and my DH and I are a team with our kids. Some appointments he arranges and takes them to, some I do entirely based on who has time.

My job means sometimes I’m very pushed for time, sometimes he is so we’ll negotiate on who does what. I don’t think I’d want my child to need to ask for their first haircut any more than I’d wait for them to ask to have their toe nails cut or ask to go to sleep before taking them to bed etc, children need to learn how to care for themselves and they do that through their parents caring for them. Regular hair cuts are part of self care and I’d want to introduce them to having their hair cut while they are small so it doesn’t become a big deal.

Gosh, you sound tiresome. Just take him to get a haircut. It doesn’t matter if ‘that’s the way his hair has grown’, it’s still a mullet and your husband isn’t happy with it. You know he doesn’t have the time to sort it, so just stop being a dick about it.

Christ, MN is like a parallel universe sometimes.

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 01-Oct-18 16:09:31
Eliza9917 why does it matter what a 2 year olds hair is like, if it's clean and not causing any issues, and not a ridiculous extreme hairstyle? This is just how his hair has grown!

A mullett is a ridiculous extreme hairstyle.

I really don't understand the obsession with not cutting little boys hair. Just because they're toddlers doesn't mean they should go around looking daft and scruffy. Just take him to get his hair cut and stop using his appearance in your game of who does what around the house FFS

Receding at the front and long at the back? Surely that looks a bit strange OP?

I keep hearing mothers of boys saying they can’t beat to think of cutting their boys’ long hair. I always think “God knows why, it looks really stupid.” I try not to say it though.

This sounds like a really stupid hairstyle too.