Help! How do I give my life meaning?

[WheelOfMisfortune]

Posting for traffic...sorry for the dramatic title.

Basically I am in a really bad place mentally, my binge eating disorder which I was getting under control has returned full force- purely because I feel like I have no purpose.

My work is the main reason for this. I show up at 9, all my work is done by 10 and there’s nothing for me to do the rest of the day. I am very well paid and love my team, so not particularly inclined to leave, but I am going insane with boredom. I go home feeling like I’ve accomplished nothing, ready to do it all again the next day, and it really gets me down. I’ve started buying crap at lunchtime and eating it all afternoon at my desk, which is not at all good as I’ve just this year managed to get a binge eating disorder semi sorted and now I’m gaining weight again. I’m struggling to get that under control and I really just need something to fill my time/brain.

What would you do if you were me? I have asked for new projects, tasks etc, which sometimes I get, but mostly I am left to my own devices. How do I fill my time? What would you do?

Thanks for listening.

I think the only option is to look for another job. Being bored for hours straight is miserable. What makes your soul happy? I’d start there to try and find a fulfilling hobby or job.

Are there any online courses you can do? Professional development?

Take a course online via future learn if you won’t get in trouble (or do it via your phone while you’re at work)

Listen to podcasts or music while you’re bored at work to pass the time

Find a new job

These are all just to get through the workday, but your question is about a much wider issue: giving your LIFE meaning.

What’s important to you? What makes you happy? What values and beliefs do you hold?

I would also use the time to update CV, update LinkedIn and see what else there is out there.

Keep asking to get involved in more projects.

Look for a professional course to underpin existing skills and develop new ones. Something that fits with your CV.

Look around at the job market and start getting ideas of what you might like to do next. Ring a few recruiters for a laugh!

Does anyone work flexibly from home or work part time? Look at that?

If you have nothing to do how do they justify you just sitting there? It's crazy.
It would drive me mad and I would start bringing stuff from home to do, sewing, shredding, reading, filing. Would anyone mind?
I would use the spare time to look online for another job or find some way to occupy myself.

Definitely professional development courses/online learning.

I know how soul-destroying it is to be captive for hours and feel like you're not adding value, but if they want to pay you to just sit there and there's genuinely nothing you could be getting on with, use the time to learn a language or pick up new skills.

Thanks everyone.

I do listen to podcasts- been here 10 months and made my way though all 600+ episodes of This American Life!

I’ve also started reading my kindle on the desktop app which I put off for ages as it felt so cheeky.

I will look at future learn today, thanks for the idea.

Flexible working is allowed but if I worked from home I would just end up watching TV- at least I feel like I’ve done something if I go to the office!

I have no idea how they justify me! It’s laughable really. One of the two women who interviewed me made a big song and dance about how much more time she would have passing stuff to me- if she was only doing an hour of work a day then how is that saving time? Or maybe she was crazy incompetent.

As to what makes my soul happy...difficult to say. I have a great home life, but my lack of propose has really been affecting my outlook on everything. At the moment the only answer I have is ‘food is all that makes me happy’ but I know that’s not true or healthy. My fiancé is being fantastic but there’s only so much he can do.

I’ve been learning French with Duolingo, which I’ve enjoyed, but I’m conscious of being on my phone too much... not sure really.

Online courses seems like a good option doesn’t it.

(To everyone saying leave- I’m being paid very well, have a mortgage to pay and am getting married next year so need the money. It’s shameful I know but I’m tied down with golden handcuffs. I judge myself for prioritising money over my mental health, and also think about how stressful some peoples lives are and think I have no cause to complain. Sigh.)

Can you ask them for more work or identify specific projects that would use your skills? I don’t think I could spend all day doing nothing.

If you have free time at work either look for more tasks at work or enrol for some professional qualifications and do your study at work

Open university have some free online courses that could be worth a try. Could also use Michel Thomas for French maybe as it’s all headphone based, but does want you to speak outloud.

All personal admin can also hopefully be done from your desk.

Can you think of any projects you could take on, even if not related to your roll? CSR stuff maybe?

Last time this happened to me I did a law degree, it took seven years and cost £12k. Loved it but it's quite a commitment.

My current role is the same, I've resigned though and am in the handover process. My boss wanted me to do a month handover, I'm struggling with two weeks, and I'm part time!

Can't wait to start new, busy, fulfilling role next week.

OU have some nice free courses. Could you start a blog? Do you enjoy writing? What about writing a book?

What do you do? Can you use your skills to volunteer or do something on the side?

When I was a lawyer not being given enough to do (because I had a baby at home they thought I wasn't committed enough to be staffed on long-term client stuff, grr!!) I used to go round every morning and afternoon asking for work. Then I would spend the rest of the day keeping myself busy doing professional development, drafting precedents, doing pro bono work for a couple of charities and legal clinic emails, mentoring younger women law students and stuff like that.

Does your role and your skills lend themselves to anything else like that?

It got soul destroying after a while though not having enough to do

I think you're like me. You get your energy and motivation from being busy and working at a fast pace? I'm at my job normally 9 hours a day. The work can be done in about 4 hours. It's a looooong day normally and my colleagues love it as they can go at a slow pace and chat in between tasks. We start at 8am and they come in and make tea and have a blether and check emails and don't actually begin proper work til near eleven. I, in the other hand, am raring to go at 8am.

I've accepted that I can't change the dynamic of the job or the environment and am always on the look out for something else in my field but with stricter deadlines and timeframes.

Boredom is not good for anybody, even if you're paid well for enduring it.

I’d try and make more of your job. There must be some internal or side projects you can get involved with? Get networking and start meeting others in the industry out of the office? That will at least kill time!

Would destroying is exactly right! I’m quite achievement driven so this is not sitting well with me at all- I also think it’s damaging my general work ethic.

I like the idea of an audio French course, I’ll look into that. I will also check the OU, thanks to those who have suggested it.

I did used to write a lot. I actually got about 80% through a book but stopped, I’ll dig that out and finish that.

Ironically enough I have a law degree too! Maybe this issue is specific to the legal area! I’m not a full fledged lawyer but work in that sort of area. I’ll look into some professional development.

Some great ideas to be going on with, thanks so much to everyone who’s replied.

Soul destroying I meant! Gah.

Tekken sounds familiar- everyone likes to meander in my office! I like a fast pace!

I would definitely work from home 1 day a week at least you can then get your washing/housework/deliveries done.

Can you go swimming/walking/gym at lunchtime and stretch out to 2 hours?

As an aside just to cover yourself you should document on your work pc and personal phone (if allowed) every day who you approached about extra work etc. to cover yourself against dismissal for non-performance in the future.

I go to the gym every lunch (there is one on site) so that’s something. Won’t help if I keep eating my weight in food though!

Good point on taking notes- I’ll start requesting work in email format so I have a record.

Thanks to everyone who has replied, it is helping to get it out- I won’t be bingeing on crap today.

I’ve made a list-

• start OU/futurelearn course
• find French audio course
• start codeacademy
• look into peer mentoring
• start writing a book (anyone have any ideas for a story?!?)

This sounds wrong? Are you supposed to ask for more work? Why are they paying you so much?

You could start a blog or start writing and do research/ writing when at work (though seems unethical) look for ways to improve efficiency?

What's your job?

I think the answer is for us to swap jobs.

Word. I'd use the time to study. Surely there are some skills you have been meaning to polish or learn from scratch. Preferably do something that is related to your field, so that if you do decide to leave it will look great on your resume.

Futhermore, don't ask for projects. Create them yourself and fit them in with the work however you see fit. If your boses don't like it, well they are welcome to give you something else.

I wouldn't leave if you have a good team, but definitely use the time you have available to your own benefit.

Simply asking for more work is a very passive way to approach this. It means someone else has to take the time to come up with other tasks for you to do. You need to take the initiative and come up with a project, put together a plan and suggest it to your bosses. Use it as an opportunity to develop your skills in areas that will boost your CV when the time comes.

Could you ask for a compressed working week - longer hours but a day off a fortnight and then you would be able to give a regular commitment to volunteering. Tour work place may also offer volunteering leave.