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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how this Tradesman can possibly think I'm unreasonable...

30 replies

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 01/10/2018 12:25

I have been getting people to come and quote for some work over the past few weeks, not a huge job but still going to cost us over £500 so not a small job either.

One of the people who I arranged to come and quote was meant to come on Friday after I'd finished work, we agreed after 6pm. I didn't check my phone all day and after finishing I saw he had messaged me at 12 to say he was at the house. I rang him after work a few times and had no answer and he did not turn up that evening.

I'm home today and he's just turned up at my door expecting to come and quote for the work, no prior message or call to say to expect him, I've heard nothing from him since Friday's text.

I explained I did not want him to quote for the job as I no longer feel he is reliable and I've had several quotes already which I am happy with. He then erupted into a very loud rant about how unreasonable I was, why did I bother asking him to come and how I have wasted his time!

How the hell does any rational person come to the conclusion I am unreasonable in this situation, or am I seriously missing something?

OP posts:

Seniorschoolmum · 01/10/2018 12:29

No, he is wrong.

He had an appt to do a quote, he didn’t show up, he has excluded himself. He’ll be one of those builders who takes on a job and then disappears for a fortnight because he’s finishing off somewhere else he forgot to tell you about.
You are right to avoid him if you want your work finished on time at all

Merryoldgoat · 01/10/2018 12:31

Nope - he’s utterly in the wrong.

Travis1 · 01/10/2018 12:37

God he's be hard work. You've dodged a bullet there.

BlueBug45 · 01/10/2018 12:41

OP now you know why he's available.

Goinggertrude · 01/10/2018 12:42

I know a lot of tradesmen and some of them have a very relaxed attitude to time keeping and appointments. They are well sought after round here (Yorkshire) and seem to be spoilt for choice with jobs. Weird. Many don't even bother to turn up and quote.

YANBU.

Wackojacko1 · 01/10/2018 12:42

He was wrong to turn up at your house at 12pm when you had arranged to meet after 6pm.

However, you should have maybe text over the weekend explaining you no longer need a quote.. he didn’t know he was no longer needed.

ShalomJackie · 01/10/2018 12:46

WackoJacko avain he turned up at an unappointed time. If he had bothered to contact the OP to rearrange the appoinment she could have told him then. Instead he once again turned up at a time where there was no appointment.

Original poster

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 01/10/2018 12:48

Glad most of you think he's the unreasonable one, I am so tempted to post a review on his Facebook page considering how rude he was. He had no idea if I would even be at home so not sure why he didn't even think to check since he has my number.

However, you should have maybe text over the weekend explaining you no longer need a quote.. he didn’t know he was no longer needed.

He was meant to turn up on Friday though, why should I message him when he did not show up, wouldn't you naturally assume you wouldn't get the job if you cannot even turn up at the agreed time?

OP posts:

Sarahjconnor · 01/10/2018 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SandAndSea · 01/10/2018 13:01

There are many like this. They'll keep doing it as long as it works for them. I think you handled it well. It's not you.

wink1970 · 01/10/2018 13:06

mmm, I've just had a few jobs done - a patio relaying and some trees chopping, and in spring the ensuite & kitchen both re-done - and on each occasion they were rubbish at arranging to quote (one came a day late) but their work was great in the end.

If you can't live with how tradespeople often are, maybe use a larger company that employs an estimator & then other people do the work. In my experience a lot of trades are rubbish at timekeeping, often for legit reasons such as a tap taking twice as long to fit, or the cement won't set, or something goes wrong mid-job so they are then late getting away to quote, etc... and some are just tardy by nature.

Don't use FB to complain, unless you are ready for reprisals.

ParanoidGynodroid · 01/10/2018 13:10

Dodged a bullet there, OP. I'm glad you found someone else.

My own bugbear has been the ones that come round then don't bother following up with a quote. They take the time to travel out to here( I live out in the sticks) spend half an hour measuring up etc. then not bother getting back with a quote. Why come in the first place.

Original poster

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 01/10/2018 13:16

on each occasion they were rubbish at arranging to quote (one came a day late) but their work was great in the end.

Did you honestly not worry that they would be unreliable? Surely it is the most basic part of the job to turn up at the specified time, and given that on Friday he was several hours early I don't think he could use the excuse a job over ran.

I have had several jobs done since being in this house and have honestly never found a tradesman to be so relaxed around keeping. I think its so rude to think you can turn up whenever you want without trying to get in contact and expect someone to hire you, in what other job would that be acceptable?

OP posts:

FullOfJellyBeans · 01/10/2018 13:18

Well he's made it quite clear that he's the last person you want doing work in your house so in that sense it was more useful than a quote.

Juells · 01/10/2018 13:21

Wackojacko1 Mon 01-Oct-18 12:42:59

He was wrong to turn up at your house at 12pm when you had arranged to meet after 6pm.

Yup, coming to the house at a time when nobody has any reason to know he's there, and there'd be no record that he was to be there at that time. That sounds safe.

However, you should have maybe text over the weekend explaining you no longer need a quote.. he didn’t know he was no longer needed.

Next time he doesn't turn up at the appointed time and doesn't hear from the prospective client again, he might have an inkling. There isn't any onus on someone to contact a tradesman who doesn't turn up when he said he would.

PeakedTooEarly · 01/10/2018 13:27

Don't talk to me about tradesmen. I am only on MN right now because I am out of the loop as to whats happening with a massive project we have going on here! He want's me to hire in equipment but hasn't told me what days he wants it for.
In general they are a nightmare. The number of people I had here for quotations and estimates and seemed reasonably normal to deal with and seemed genuinely interested in the job but then never got in touch! It has driven me to tears on half a dozen occasions at least. Unbelieveably frustrating. If they would just be honest and say if they don't want the job it would be a help. I have even said for them to tell me to my face and I would understand but......no. Assholes!

KitKat1985 · 01/10/2018 13:31

He was unreasonable. Though in general I've found that the 'getting quotes' process gives you a good guide to how a small firm operate, and how reliable they are, as well as how competitively they price themselves, and I personally would be really reluctant to go with a company who had really slack timekeeping skills.

amazingtracy · 01/10/2018 13:36

It's taken me YEARS to get a decent crew of tradesmen! I have had unfinished work for a frigging year!!
I'm not someone who sees sexism in everything but in this case I do.....Tradesmen expect the little ladies t be at home, barefoot and probably in the kitchen waiting for the big men to turn up.
Twice in the past few weeks I have had tradesmen be pissed with me for having the audacity to be at work ......one lad was two weeks late!!!!!!

pacer142 · 01/10/2018 13:37

However, you should have maybe text over the weekend explaining you no longer need a quote.. he didn’t know he was no longer needed.

He didn't turn up at the agreed time. He's the one in the wrong. Personally I never chase up any tradesman who doesn't turn up at the agreed time/date. I absolutely hate people who turn up at their convenience without prior agreement, whether they're a tradesman, family, friend or client - it's a sign of arrogance that they don't give a toss about your own plans.

FlamingJuno · 01/10/2018 13:41

I've found my people. I've been trying to get some work done in my house for two years. The only tradesman who turns up when asked, does a decent job and comes again is our joiner. Plumbers are a joke. They either a) don't answer the phone b) don't return calls / messages c) never look at their Facebook page d) don't come when they say they will come to quote e) never come back with a quote. I have reached the conclusion that they don't need the money.

However, if they do this to everyone, how do they ever get any work? I need my kitchen and two bathrooms replacing - NOBODY is interested .

MissConductUS · 01/10/2018 13:41

Contractors who are inconsiderate of your time during the bidding process are always a monumental pain in the arse during the actual project if they get the work. You were being quite reasonable, and saved yourself a lot of trouble too.

pacer142 · 01/10/2018 13:44

I'm not someone who sees sexism in everything but in this case I do.....Tradesmen expect the little ladies t be at home, barefoot and probably in the kitchen waiting for the big men to turn up.

You really can't turn everything into sexism. My OH has the same problems with tradesmen and clients and he's a big, fat, hairy arsed bloke!

Only last week, he arranged for a tree surgeon to come and look at some trees - he told the guy he'd be home from work after 5.30. The guy apparently turned up at lunchtime and phoned him on his mobile saying he was just passing and could OH come home in his lunch hour to discuss the trees! Needless to say he got told to come back at the agreed time, which he didn't!

He also gets annoyed with clients who turn up at his office without an appointment. So much so, that he has taken to working in a back room, so he can ignore any unexpected people knocking on the door, just so he can concentrate on the work that he's doing.

Original poster

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 01/10/2018 13:56

However, if they do this to everyone, how do they ever get any work?

Well someone has already posted above that they have still used people who have turned up late or missed agreed appointments so they probably assume it doesn't matter as they still get the work. Personally if you cant turn up at the agreed time then why the heck would I let you loose in my house and expect you to do a good job?

it's a sign of arrogance that they don't give a toss about your own plans.

This. ^ He looked pretty shocked that I didn't want him to come and quote when I was lounging out at home with no major plans. Like I should stop what I was doing, even if it wasn't much, to bend to his schedule. I got the impression he felt like he was doing me a huge favour by turning up at all.

OP posts:

amazingtracy · 01/10/2018 14:03

pacer142 Dammit- so it's a case that tradesmen just dont like me!

rosablue · 01/10/2018 14:35

Definitely not in the wrong. And also quite creepy that he is turning up when he knows you are not there or shouldn't be there or might be there on your own - would definitely set my spidey senses tingling!

I once had arranged to get a quote for some work done at home at 11am. We had car problems so I'd taken the car into the garage first thing after the school run and was expecting to be home well before 10am, so in plenty of time for the chap to give the quote. Plus dh works from home so in case I couldn't get home he was there.

Chap rang up to confirm time, probably about 9.30am. DH answered and said that I wasn't there at that moment and before he could say 'but she's expecting you and she is going to be back any minute' the guy started swearing violently and said that he knew I was unreliable, that I shouldn't have messed him around when I wasn't planning on being there but should have let him know, and basically having a major blow out at dh, slamming the phone down on him before he had a chance to say anything.

As it was, I was back a few minutes after the call, more than an hour before he was due, and he knew I was going to be out doing a school run so it's not a big leap to think that I might have had to pop into the shop for some bread and milk or biscuits as he was coming to give a quote. Or speak to the teacher. or whatever - I had committed to being there at 11am, not 9.30am, and there was somebody there who was talking to him and was there.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt I guess he had had a run of problems when turning up to appointments but it didn't justify his reaction on the call, certainly not the rudeness or not letting dh finish his sentence! Chalked it up to a lucky escape - don't think he would have been a good contractor to have around.

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