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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Flu jab

51 replies

DeepfriedPizza · 01/10/2018 11:15

I have had the flu jab for the past 2 years, paid for by myself at about £13 each time.

Colleague has a condition where it would make her very ill if she got flu and therefore she gets it done at the doctor (for free) alongside her whole family.
I've decided not to get it this year for a variety of reasons.

She came in this morning after having her appointment to get the jab and I told her that I wasn't going to get it this year. She said " it's people like you that will make me ill" I said if she or the work wanted to pay for me to get it done then I will and I also said that if I felt remotely like I was getting flu then I will just stay off sick.

Now she is in a huff.

We only work together 2 days a week! The chances of me getting flu are slim, the chances of her catching flu from me are very slim and even slimmer since she's had the bloody jab!!

Aibu to not get the jab?

OP posts:
Nightinshiningllama · 01/10/2018 13:05

Your vaccine will be based on the Australian vaccine which was much more effective this year than last year, so if anyone is weighing up whether or not to get it based on efficacy, that a nod to yes. OP, if your colleague has an immunosuppressant condition she may not develop enough antibodies from being vaccinated to give her good protection from the flu. That’s why it’s important for everyone else to be vaccinated. Herd immunity is a real thing. Also, you don’t want to get the flu...really, you don’t. If you get the vaccination and still get the flu you’ll most likely thank yourself for being jabbed because you won’t be anywhere near as sick as you would be if you were unvaccinated. It doesn’t cost much and is wat cheaper than being bed ridden for a week or more.

bellinisurge · 01/10/2018 13:20

I have a condition which means I get the jab for free.
Your colleague is right that anti-vaxxers put people like me at mortal risk. They don't give a shit and, frankly, shouldn't be allowed to send their kids to state school. But I digress into a rant. You don't sound like an anti-vaxxer.
Not the same thing with the flu jab. If this year's jab works, I don't get flu. If you get flu when this jab works it is no skin off my nose although rubbish for you.
If this jab doesn't work and I get flu, it wouldn't have been prevented by you getting the jab. You not getting the jab is not the same as being one of the anti-MMR loons.
I'm old and have had flu maybe twice in my life. It's ghastly.

Stressedoverkids · 01/10/2018 13:22

Last years effectiveness was appalling for adults.

That is why they have changed it this year...four strains instead of three and a different more effective vaccine for over 65's

SpiritedLondon · 01/10/2018 13:39

Well the flu jab is targeted to people at risk - over 65s, children between 2-9 etc etc. It hasn’t been introduced by the government to cover the entire population in the same way as MMR etc. Would they even have enough vaccine to cover everyone if we all decided we wanted it? Last year I was in a flu hot spot and there was no vaccine to be found anywhere. My point being even if you went to get the vaccine this year your colleague is likely to be mixing with huge numbers of people who haven’t had it anyway. ( unlike the MMR etc where the majority of the population are vaccinated )

Original poster
DeepfriedPizza · 01/10/2018 13:42

Definitely not an anti vaxxer. DC is vaxxed to the max. I was vaxxed as a child.

I have had the flu before and It was horrific, I have to admit.
For PP, I wouldn't have to pick up the slack if she was off and she wouldn't pick up my slack if I were off.

I didn't realise ASDA were doing it so cheap.

OP posts:
SuperstarDJ · 01/10/2018 13:42

Presumably that’s part of the reason why she has the flu jab - to protect herself from others who don’t get the jab. I’d just ignore her huffing. I get currently the jab for free but I wouldn’t expect others around me to get it too for my benefit.

MissConductUS · 01/10/2018 13:52

H3N2 last year killed 80,000 people, a 40 year record. Hundreds of thousands were hospitalized. Pediatric flu deaths in the US were also a record. I'm a nurse and had to work huge amounts of overtime last year due to the influx of flu patients. At one point we had four otherwise healthy adults with it in the ICU.

Obviously no one knows if this year is going to be better, the same or worse, but I think it's imprudent to skip the jab because it made you feel a bit poorly lastly year,

Stupomax · 01/10/2018 13:59

I also said that if I felt remotely like I was getting flu then I will just stay off sick.

But you're contagious before you know you've got it.

We only work together 2 days a week!

So that's 2 days when you could pass the flu on to her.

The chances of me getting flu are slim, the chances of her catching flu from me are very slim

Why are they slim? You're not getting vaccinated. If you did get vaccinated then the chances of you getting flu would be slim.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 01/10/2018 14:06

@ItsABlusteryDay
I have an autoimmune disease, also just had treatment that means I can catch things very easily, and that they could easily turn into worse ie pneumonia.

My Mum also had an autoimmune disease and caught mere colds from people that turned into pneumonia multiple times.

She died young, her heart and lungs weakened by all the illness. Please consider having the flu jab, Blustery, even a bit of protection is better than nothing at all.

Stupomax · 01/10/2018 14:10

BTW, my DD got the flu last year despite being vaccinated, so given that I would get myself vaccinated in your situation OP. Not to mention that it means you're protected as well.

Stupomax · 01/10/2018 14:10

Please consider having the flu jab, Blustery, even a bit of protection is better than nothing at all

Right - every little bit helps.

MadisonMontgomery · 01/10/2018 14:11

I always get the flu jab. I work at a GP surgery and we have had reasonably young, healthy patients die of flu - people really don’t know how serious it is (not helped by people insisting their minor cold is flu - it’s not!)

Original poster
DeepfriedPizza · 01/10/2018 14:14

*The chances of me getting flu are slim, the chances of her catching flu from me are very slim

Why are they slim? You're not getting vaccinated. If you did get vaccinated then the chances of you getting flu would be slim*

The percentage of people that get the flu is small, is it not?

*We only work together 2 days a week!

So that's 2 days when you could pass the flu on to her.*

There are some people that work 5 days with her that have not had the jab, ever.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 01/10/2018 14:16

not helped by people insisting their minor cold is flu - it’s not!

Too right. And then they get prickly about it when you tell them that their head cold is not influenza, all the while taking up time that would be better spent dealing with people who really need evaluation and care.

Stupomax · 01/10/2018 14:19

The percentage of people that get the flu is small, is it not?

In the US, which offers the flu vax to every, it's 5 to 20% of the population.

That's not a small percentage.

MissConductUS · 01/10/2018 14:22

The percentage of people that get the flu is small, is it not?

In the US it's somewhere between 5% and 15%, but our flu vaccination rates are higher than yours. This CDC webpage is quite clear about the impact of influenza.

www.cdc.gov/flu/about/disease/burden.htm

There are some people that work 5 days with her that have not had the jab, ever.

I'm not clear how this is relevant to whether or not you get the jab or how you know their vaccination status.

Original poster
DeepfriedPizza · 01/10/2018 14:39

MissConductUS
She went in a huff for me not getting the vaccine and I only work with her 2 days vs others 5 days who did not get a huff, that's why it's relevant. I know their vaccination statuses through the art of conversation.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 01/10/2018 14:48

If you're looking at this solely through the perspective of protecting her that's a bit narrow. It should be more about protecting yourself and the other people you come in contact with as part of everyday life. Many of them are at higher risk of serious complication than you. None of the patients I had in ICU last year were vaccinated.

Perhaps she reacted to you that way because you had gotten vaccinated in the past and she thought she could count on you to do so again.

Stupomax · 01/10/2018 15:04

It's really up to you whether or not you get the flu shot - it's not your job to protect her or anyone else if you don't want to. She shouldn't be trying to force you into it.

But you seem to be trying to convince yourself that you can't possibly pass it on to her as your way of justifying yourself, which isn't a great argument. By not getting the flu shot you are opening yourself up to getting the flu, and to passing it around your workplace.

Hopefully this year they will have got the vaccination components right, and people who've had it will be better protected than last year, and she will be OK.

iVampire · 01/10/2018 16:26

I had my flu jab this morning (on NHS, for medical reasons). The only people I expect to have the jab to protect me are my DC, to reduce the chances of having flu in the house at all.

Flu can kill even the young and healthy. So I think OP has misunderstood the nature of the risk to the colleague - it could make her very ill and it could lead to death (directly or any complications which arise if you are very ill with it).

I think OP was deeply tactless to mention to the colleague that she wan’t getting it. There was no need to mention it at all.

The concept of herd immunity doesn’t really apply icw the flu jab as NHS does not offer it universally. It seeks to protect the vulnerable (the pregnant, the elderly and those with certain medical conditions and their cohabitants) and the super-spreaders (the sniff version for toddlers and schoolchildren). I do think HCPs and carers should have it, because of their proximity to the vulnerable. But I really wouldn’t criticise others who didn’t want to take it up, even those I spend time with

malificent7 · 01/10/2018 17:16

Unless you specifically say why you don't want it, I think you are being a teensy bit selfish. Why not protect yourself too?

Someone up thread said ' her health, her problem.' Words fail me.

malificent7 · 01/10/2018 17:17

Just wondering if the person would say the same if her child got I'll due to an anti vaxer.

malificent7 · 01/10/2018 17:22

I think it's everyone's job to protect everyone else by getting vaccinated. What a horrid attitude not to consider the health of others.

Gottagetmoving · 01/10/2018 17:24

Having had the flu years ago, I would never want it again ever! It costs me about £7 a year at Asda pharmacy....and worth every penny. I'm not well off, but I would have the vaccination even if it was fifty quid.

bellinisurge · 02/10/2018 06:21

Unlike the formal vaccination programme the flu vaccine doesn't rely on herd immunity as such. And so you don't have a social responsibility to have it (unless you are a health professional or teacher, fir example).
As someone who is immunocompromised, I don't expect or rely on other people to get it.
If you don't have your kids vaccinated on the standard programme you are a selfish arsehole- unless they are in the very rare group of children that can't have it for genuine (gp certified) health reasons. Not woo reasons.