To pull ds out of starting this nursery because I'm scared he will choke.

[WrathBaby]

So there's no drip feeding going on: DS (2.5) is under a consultant paediatrician because she thinks he may be autistic (she diagnosed his older sister) He is not talking.

My main concern: DS eats properly at times, but we've found we always have to slice some of his food up (such as apples, pears) into either circular slices or sticks, as he will just keep shoving it in his mouth without chewing or swallowing and then screaming. He has choked twice before (not gagged), and that was with being careful.

We have just taken him in for his induction today, at a nursery that came highly recommended to us by professionals involved with DS. We have previously visited and the staff and setting are lovely.

However, the children are given free access to choose whole pieces of fruit in the room. Ds chose an apple while we were filling in paperwork. I was unsure as I was filling it in because I was told that they don't cut up their blueberries.

I came out to him looking at me wide eyed, mouth open and a mouth full of apple. I slapped his back and he spat it out, but the staff member sitting at the table with him didn't say a word or do anything.

I'm shaking and have told DH I don't want him to go. DD's nursery always sliced fruit. DH thinks I'm overreacting and he'll be fine.

I do have diagnosed autism myself and choking is one of my obsessions so I know I may be being unreasonable. I just couldn't live with myself if he did choke, and I know I could take him to a nursery who does slice fruit.

So AIBU and completely batshit to look for a different nursery?

[littledinaco]

You need an OT with SI (sensory intergration) qualification who can prescribe a sensory diet (not food diet) for your DS to follow.

Obviously it’s important that he doesn’t choke in nursery but changing nursery/getting them to cut food up isn’t solving the actual problem, you are just masking it.

[WrathBaby]

Thank you, we do have an OT who works with DD so will give her a call. I guess we've just dealt with it at home so far so I hadn't thought of mentioning it to her or his c.paediatrician.

I agree that it's been masked at home because we've just worked around it rather than addressing the problem.

I've just spoken to one of the other mums in the autism group and she's recommended a local childminder who has a lot of experience with dc with sensory issues.

[Dontfeellikeamillenial]

They sound complacent to say the least.

[Dontfeellikeamillenial]

I've never accepted the whole 'gagging vs choking' argument, 'oh, he's fine, he's just gagging': if you're a worried parent you do err on the side of caution. I'm totally with you on this one, op.

[ShovingLeopard]

YANBU. We are culturally very cavalier about choking in the UK.

Not cutting up fruit is a risk for all the children in their care, not just children with sensory issues. I am shocked they are not cutting blueberries. A small child's windpipe is only 8mm &8mm. A large blueberry could easily block one and be impossible to dislodge.

The guidelines issued by paediatricians in the US and Australia advise cutting, e.g. apple, until at least the age of 4.

You're not being over-anxious, especially as he has a tendency to cram. The childminder sounds like a much better option.

[Merryoldgoat]

OP - my son did this - it’s utterly terrifying. Everyone thought I was paranoid and mollycoddling him until they actually saw it.

He’s actually now diagnosed with HFA abs he’s 5 - the gagging mostly stopped around 3/4 and I no longer have to cut everything up.

The nurseries my DS attended were very understanding and did properly supervise him.

I’d not leave him anywhere people were dismissive.