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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hownto people juggle after school activities

21 replies

Imustbemad00 · 30/09/2018 20:14

Currently feeling like a terrible mum. My youngest has recently taken up a couple of after school activities. One of which is swimming which he absolutely needs to keep doing. The other is a sport which he has just been asked to start attending twice a week instead of once, and the other is a school club which isn’t so bad as I don’t have to ferry him from one place to another.

I also have an older child who I’m trying to juggle all this around.

I’m a single mum, I work school hours luckily. But how an earth am I supposed to find the time to tidy ect and cook dinner when we’re not getting in until late? I know lots of people do it, but how??
I find we’re eating lots of convenience meals as youngest goes to bed at half 7 and there’s just no time to get in cook, do washing, tidy, do homework, bath routine.

I feel like I’m drowning. But I’ll feel like a failure if I make him leave his activities as everyone else seems to breeze through it all with no stress.

I’m just exhausted.

OP posts:

Bunnybigears · 30/09/2018 20:16

My two do a rediculous amount of after school activities. I make sure they have school dinners then tea tends to be sandwiches etc and sometimes if necessary eaten in the car between clubs or one will eat while watching the other do their activity etc.

AlexanderHamilton · 30/09/2018 20:17

I used to take a packed tea for dd to eat at dance then I’d take Ds to McDonald’s one day a week. Dd never did swimming lessons & after school classes were better for me due to work.

I didn’t do housework in the week.

Bunnybigears · 30/09/2018 20:17

Oh and they dont have a bath every night and the tidying is done after they have gone to bed or at the weekend.

Itscoldoutside01 · 30/09/2018 20:18

I have a year 7 & 4 - so high school and primary - and a baby. It's almost impossible, I feel like a taxi and my house is a mess. Next term we are cracking down and They have to choose only one each or I will GO MAD!!!

AlexanderHamilton · 30/09/2018 20:18

Yes baths or showers Pre puberty were weekends or if they’d got muddy during sport.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 30/09/2018 20:20

Slow cooker is great for those days - prep it night before. Pop all in the slow cooker. Ready when you get home. Can even take a bit out for one child and the rest later.

Scientistic · 30/09/2018 20:23

I work the same hours. In the space of Monday to Friday my 2 have 7 clubs. Different times, different places. Also have other dc who are younger. I honestly feel like I'm going bananas sometimes.

For tea, quick things like pasta and sauce, with some protein (I keep lots of frozen precooked chicken and frozen veg in the house). Quorn is a good one, quick stir fry. Weve been known to hit the golden arches.

It is bloody hard. I sometimes think should they do less. One of them is a good sportsperson though and it has really brought out confidence so I am keen to continue (as are they).

Best advice is to see if anyone else can help. Sometimes we do someone a favour and they then do us one. Don't be afraid to ask or accept it!

But also : super noodles are the 8th wonder of the world

Allthewaves · 30/09/2018 20:23

I dropped bath and did quick shower if needed. Slow cooker or meals I'd preprepped the day before so just reheating.

Scientistic · 30/09/2018 20:24

Oh and a slow cooker! You can do all sorts in them. Actually doing it before the morning school run though is a right palaver.

Allthewaves · 30/09/2018 20:25

And this year iv cut activities down to one evening a week. We do swimming straight after school then they all go to scouts. Made life much less stressful.

Original poster

Imustbemad00 · 30/09/2018 20:27

I do try and use the slow cooker, but even the organisation involved in planning what to have and prepping ect is stressful. An extra thing to be thinking about all week. I also run out of slow cooker ideas, especially ones the youngest will eat (not a lot).

They have to bath every night. One teenager and youngest is somehow filthy everyday.

Could try and do sandwiches ect one evening but youngest is ravenous all the time! My house is also a mess and I literally refuse to do anything in the evening. It’s my time, and I need it.

Sometimes I Wish I had a partner just so I’ve got someone to help...
Think I’d prefer a cleaner though 😂

OP posts:

Becles · 30/09/2018 20:28

Make friends with other parents! Have one drop off and the other pick up reciprocal arrangements.

spinabifidamom · 30/09/2018 20:29

I have a diary.
In it I record the details of therapies, extracurricular activities and appointments for DS. My stepdaughter has to help me pack her tea or something the night before for any extracurricular activities she does.
We keep a strict limit on the number she does. Currently she does 1-2 a week. Piano and ballet lessons right now. Once a week she has a French lesson she attends at home. I take some food into the room for her to eat during the class if she asks for it.
Quite often we have lunch on the go. I make up lunch at home. Either a sandwich or a salad or something. I’m strict about processed food however.

Bunnybigears · 30/09/2018 20:30

Can they shower in the morning to free up some time? The teenager can stay home and cook when it is the younger ones night at an activity.

Maryann1975 · 30/09/2018 20:30

Our evenings have just quietened down following 2 years of utter hell with after school/evening clubs. We have 3dc, reasonably close in age and feel like we have spent two years never spending an evening at home. Dd has finished her very time consuming at least one evening (parents had to stay) and lots of weekends hobby. Ds has decided not to be on his football team any longer over the summer - another evening and Sunday mornings freed up. Dd2 has just started a club, but it doesn’t have the scope to become all encompassing like the other twos hobbies did.

I can’t offer any advice except school dinners on those days they do a club and keep your meal simple so you haven’t got to wait to long to eat when you get in.

Can you ask around if anyone wants to lift share with you so you only have to take OR pick up (I know this doesn’t work for a lot of hobbies though).

AlexanderHamilton · 30/09/2018 20:31

Do you have a shower or can you put an attachment over the bath. Much quicker.

ZanyMobster · 30/09/2018 20:37

I don't think there is a great answer to be honest, we go to bed mega late as I make sure I get everything ready the night before, so if they are having packed lunches I make sure I plan what dinner we are having and so on. We rarely get to bed before midnight though. I work 8-4 plus an hour each night and DH 9-6 plus 2-3 hours each night too. I do 99% of the running around but he does the morning school run.

I make a load of chilli, spag bol etc at a weekend and freeze. Other quick but decent meals are chicken wraps or chicken stir fry (with rice to bulk out),once a week something chucked in the oven like fish and chips and also pasta and jar of sauce (with sometimes chicken thrown in or a load of salad veg on the side).

It's truly exhausting if I'm honest, but they love the stuff they do so it's hard to compromise really. They do over 10 hours outside of school each a week plus additional music and homework every day so it is a lot. We do have a cleaner and someone to do the ironing so for you it is more difficult if you have to fit all that in on top.

MingaTurtle · 30/09/2018 20:39

I work nearly FT. DD1 does 4 out of school activities - GPs take her to one, one is at 6.30 and two on Saturdays. She’s also doing 3 after school clubs and we are really lucky that the school offers so many activities. DD2 does 2 activities - GPs take her to one and the other is at the same time as DD1’s on a Saturday.

My DDs do get fed convenience food and we don’t do a bath every night. We also do minimal homework.

We also have a cleaner who irons too. But I appreciate that isn’t an option for everyone.

AlexanderHamilton · 30/09/2018 20:40

Our routine is currently something like this (Ds is autistic so the meals are a bit beige)

Monday - Home by 4.30pm Evening meal usually involves left over Sunday meat with oven wedges & frozen veg or pasta & sauce or fishfingers. Drive to dance class 7.30-8.30

Tuesday - school show rehearsal. Home by 5pm. Tea super noodles, frozen chicken & peas/sweet corn. Drive to theatre rehearsal 6.30pm - 9.30

Wednesday - school show rehearsal, pick up from school 4.30 - drive to English tutor 5-6 (nip to supermarket whilst he’s there). Call to chippy on the way home. Home by 6.40pm. Eat chips. Drive to theatre rehearsal 7.30-9.30pm.

Thursday NOTHING!

Friday. Home by 4.30pm. Cook tea. Drive to theatre rehearsal 7.30 - 9.30pm.

notsurewhatshappening · 30/09/2018 20:45

My DCS go to a childminder 4 evenings a week so we don't do any after school activities - we are all too tired. They love coming home when I pick them up. They both do swimming at 10am on a Saturday morning and DS does rugby on a Sunday morning (DD also comes and plays with other siblings at the side). They don't want to do anything else and I'm more than happy with that!

User467 · 30/09/2018 20:45

It's a complete juggling act, try not assume everyone else breezes through it.....I certainly don't! I plan my weeks meals based on what's on. Depending on timings I'll cook dinner as soon as we get in from school and have it early. The nights we don't have anything on we tend to have a bigger meal and there's a couple of nights that all we can manage is beans on toast. Homeworks done at the kitchen table while I cook and kids unload the dishwasher so I can load it straight after we eat. And other house work....lol, doesn't happen

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