To worry about DS's surname

[JagerPlease]

When ex and I married, we double barrelled our surnames, and DS obviously took our name when he was born. We're now divorcing and both reverting to our original half of the surname.

This means that DS is the only person in the world with his surname. I worry that this might end up being weird for him growing up. Am I worrying unnecesarily?

With the best will in the world, yes.

Sorry but

Lots of people double barell their kids surname without both taking each others name?

Worry more about co parenting successfully after a divorce, which will have a greater impact on your child than his name.

I'm sure he'll be fine, and it's better than him having to pick a side/name no?

Happened to me when my parents split ... few years later found two brothers with the exact same surname as me (no relation whatsoever) and my name was really uncommon (made up of two uncommon surnames 😂)

I have my surname, DH has his and the DC’s surname is double barrelled.

When my best friend married she kept her name, her DH kept his and their child is double barrelled. I thought that was fairly normal?

You'd possibly feel worse if your son had just your exes surname, so at least he is attached to both of you, in the way you wanted.

We're co-parenting fine, I just worried about him feeling isolated when he's old enough to realise he's the only one with his name. (my surname is particularly unusual and exes not that common either). But happy to be told IABU and stop worrying about it 🙂

This means that DS is the only person in the world with his surname. I worry that this might end up being weird for him growing up. Am I worrying unnecesarily?

I never changed my name and neither did DH. The kids are double barrelled. DS1 is over the moon that they are the only people in the universe with their name.

I think it’s nice as DSD has said that at her mums she feels sad that she doesn’t share any of her mums family name but wouldn’t want to change it as then at her dads she would feel that way so for your DS he gets to feel part of both sides of his family.

I’m probably the only person in the world with my surname. DC have XHs surname and when I married DH I double barrelled mine (which I hadn’t changed) with his.

However, he maybe the only person with the combined name, but as he has both yours and ex-dh’s names, then he won’t be alone, as he has your names.

Have you tried goggling the double-barrelled name? You may find someone with it, or something similar.

I think you may be over thinking it.

He has both his parents' names in his surname. That's very cool.
My DS has his dad's, who doesn't even live in this country, and nobody else in this whole country has his surname (it's super rare where his dad is from). It has literally never bothered him that I've noticed.

What Crunchymum said. It's a pretty common solution to deciding which parents name to use

'I’m probably the only person in the world with my surname.'

Me too. I like it. Certainly virtually rules out any cases of mistaken identity, which can have nasty consequences.

I know several people where the parents are either unmarried or married but didn't change surnames and double barrelled the kids names. It's not uncommon.

I have a double barrel surname like your son, one from mum one from dad, only two people in the world with my surname, the other person is my brother.
I like having half from each family, sometimes just use one or the other for different forms and things, sometimes make up a name entirely or use my sons surname.
My son has his dad's name, we didn't double barrel because it would have been three names long.
So that was an issue.
I could never choose one to drop permanently, both together are my name and part of my identity.
I will be keeping it if I ever get married.
Please don't make any suggestion to your son that he should only use one of his names.
He was named the same as both of you and still shares a name with you both.
The only thing that I would say concerns me about having an almost unique name is the fact that it could make me identifiable online.

My OH and I aren't married and we both gave our surname to our dd so she's essentially in the same boat as your ds.

We figured it shows our connection to her. I don't see any problem with it. Assuming we do marry we will change our names to match.

Not a problem as lots of school children end up like this nowadays. The ones that have some difficulty are the ones whose mums( usually mums) keep changing their names. We had two boys years ago that had changed their names five times at Primary school. In the end they refused to take on the aka name of mum’s latest boyfriend and reverted to dad’s name later on the went to live with him!

My friend has a double barrelled surname - let’s say Jones-Smith, married a guy with a double barrelled surname, Wood-Lee. They both kept their own surnames and named their daughter a mixture of the both Wood-Jones. I don’t think people really mind. Probably easier for you both if you want to take your DC out of the country as you will have a shared part of the surname

Not sure why I went to the lengths of making up different surnames as it doesn’t really add anything

Thank you all, feeling much more reassured now!

I can’t think why it would make him feel isolated, but it can be a pain to have a unique name when you’re the only hit on google - he’ll need to be careful online! Other than that, he might see it as a good thing, it’s nice to be unique.

Don't worry about it. DH, I, DS and DD are the only 4 people in the world with our surname. We made a new one with a bit of his and a bit of mine.

I doubt he’ll even think about it. But If he marries, and his wife takes his name, and then they have children of their own, he may be founding a whole new dynasty. That’s quite an exciting prospect!