To think he's is trying to buy his love?

[Rosegoldlilly]

Mine and exP DS is 2. Been split since DS was 6 months. Recently I feel he's been trying to buy his love. Every weekend my DS is there he texts me and somehow brings into the text he has brought him a new toy/s. I know he is This way because he used to try buy my love when we were together to make up for me finding him texting other women. It worked for a bit but then I saw sense and left. He has made comments that he was worried DS wouldn't want to see him as he doesn't have him as much but then he said but he loves coming here.
DS has arrived home today in a right state. Crying, absolutely knackered. I asked if he napped and he said no. It's almost as if he's done it on purpose. DS was crying and wouldn't let go of him and he was just smirking as if to say he loves me more and wants to be with me.
As not to drip feed I went into a women's refuge once I split with him as he was very emotionally abusive. I'm now worried he's starting to emotionally abused our son in playing games and trying to buy his love. Who knows what he says to him when I'm not there. What do I do?

A lot of exes become Disney dads and will tell their kids things to try and make them love them more. All you can do is be an awesome mum to your son. He'll see through all this sooner than you will believe. I know it must annoy you when DS misses a nap, but that's symptomatic of Disney dad's- "we were having too much fun together etc" Tbh I recommend you picking your battles and having belief that you're doing right by your son when he's with you

I can completely relate to this. I spilt up with DS’s father when I was pregnant then we got back together after he was born the split again when he was pretty young.

My ex has always tried to buy his love. He’s also been extremely competitive with what presents he buys. Has to rub it in our faces though. DS has everything he needs here with me and we do of course buy him loads but the difference is I’m running a house bringing DS for 95 percent of time, feeding him, buying clothes etc. My ex has considerably more disposable income than us as he lives cheaply in a caravan.

Spending time with children is so much more important than buying them anything. Children have much more happy memories of parents who spend a lot time with them.

Of course, your ex can buy him what he wants but he’s also digging a hole for himself. My ex bought DS stuff every weekend and every time they went into a shop then DS always expected it.

My DS also sometimes cries when my ex drops him off. I think he thinks that DS obviously doesn’t want s to come home which really isn’t he case at all here. It’s jusy that the ex doesn’t have him for long enough and DS hates goodbyes.

I don’t really have any advice but I would just like to say I’ve dealt with 6/7 years of it and it’s not turned out too bad.

Saying that, My ex bought DS a £500 remote controlled car for the sake of t the other day. It’s a competition thing with him though. Always has to spend the most money. £500 on a random Saturday (birthdays not til next year) it’s plain ridiculous.

It will get easier when your little one gets older as he will be able to talk to you more about what happens at daddy’s.

Ex’s who would have them aye?

Thanks for the replies. That's how I would describe him kitkat a "Disney dad". He likes to come across on social media he's perfect when in actual fact he isn't. It was only this week I was debating taking our Ds to a&e and he was complaining in a round about way that it would be an inconvience to him!!
I'm just worried our DS will grow up to be spolit and not fully understand presents if he keeps buying him things at random times. It just upsets me to see our DS in that state earlier and for him to just smirk as he enjoys it! My DM thinks I should say something but I'm unsure as I think he won't listen anyway and won't change his ways

Bump? Does anyone have any advice with how to deal with exP? Should I say something or let him get on with it? It's really starting to get to me

Bump

I think if you say something to him it'll just let him know it gets to you.

If you accept it as the way he's going to be and just try to deal with your DS your own way. Like a pp said you have DS 95% of the time, and in the long run memories matter more than material gifts.