Awful friend but... [Edited by MNHQ]

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I'm tearing myself apart on this one and really need some outside perspective here. Bear with me though as it's a bit long...

My best mate and I no longer speak. In short, she's recently been a terrible friend and even worse, is in a relationship with a convicted sex offender.

Best mates since school. Like literal soul mates. But when she got divorced she changed. Me and some of her other friends helped her out so much but she just used us. Put her new dates first. Ignored us when she saw us when on dates. We got sick of her taking the piss basically.

Then she found out this bloke was a sex offender. She got pregnant. She dumped that bomb shell on me and left. She rang me in tears because she didn't know if SS would take baby away. I did loads of research for her and rang MARU to get some advice. Rang her back to reassure her and she cut me off mid phone call because he was walking through the door. I was so angry!

That is what she does. Uses you and then discards you.
She hasn't always been like that though.

I hate what she's become but there's still a part of me that really misses that best mate. I've never had a friendship like it since. And now I have my own little one, I find myself missing my friend so much. We should have been sharing this fun time together like we always said we would.

AIBU? To miss her? Should I try and move on? Any advice how?

I couldn't ever be near her partner or let my LO anywhere near him.

Greatly welcome opinions on this. Well done for reading this far 😉

Op I think you need to think long and hard before you send a text.
She doesn't seem the type of person, from what you have said, to take much notice of you or your friends.

She seems to have decided to go down a very dark path in her life and if you carry on the friendship there's going to be a hell of a lot of anxiety around her situation for you.

Even though she is an adult she seems to see you as her rescuer.
It's emotionally exhausting being around people who do nothing but take and draw you into their dramatic lives.

People change and not always for the better.
Put yourself and your emotional wellbeing first and go NC with her for own mental health at least

Even though she's an adult, she seems to see you as her rescuer

I would say this about her relationships with her men. She tends to pick blokes who have something wrong with them and then tries to fix them... then she gets upset when it goes wrong.

Never thought of it the other way round in regards to our friendship though. Intriguing thought. I think she's very reliant on her friends to pick up the pieces.

So should I message her... saying I'm there for her if she needs me? Things can resume as normal if she's not with him but until then it's not really something I'm willing to be part of?

NO!

It's normal and natural to grieve a friendship that has died. But some die for a very good reason, and this is one of them.

She's a selfish user with absolute shit judgement when it comes to men and her DC. Even if she was the nicest person in the world, my advice would be to run and cut her out of your life due to being involved with a sex offender. If you let her into your life again, you're also letting him back in, because at some point the link to her child is going to bring him across your path. That's not a risk I would take for myself, my job or my family.

I can't even imagine what sort of crime he committed to originally be sentenced to 14 years, but it must have been horrific.

Thank you all for your advice. I truly appreciate it. I was to-ing and fro-ing between these two options and it wasn't getting any clearer. My feelings about the friendship we had were clouding my ability to make a clear cut decision.