To think people are not nice anymore.

[SofaKingFedUp]

I get that we live in a crazy world nowadays, you never know what people are like, what they are going through, what they are capable of etc etc and you have to protect yourself and children etc etc.
But I feel like people just can't be bothered anymore, they feel like it's ok to be rude or cold towards people they don't know.

For example, on a bus the other day and an elderly man was sat behind a mother and her child, child looked about 3. The elderly man was talking to the child as she had stood on the seat and turned and was looking at him. Just general questions like "what's your name, how old are you, that's a pretty name etc" and the mother snatched her child away and snarled at him saying she's not allowed to talk to strangers. The gentleman appeared to be upset about it, he didn't say anything, but you could see it in his face.
I have a 7 month old girl and although I will teach her to be wary of strangers, never take anything from them or leave with them, I don't want her to grow up thinking that all strangers are evil, and that you shouldn't even talk to them or that it's ok to be rude.
When you look around people are constantly on their phones, even when dining out with friends. If their phone is not in their hand, it's beside them on the table.
Also totally understand people need their phones for emergencies too, but most of the time it's the youngsters on social media (even though that's what I'm on now but I'm alone while DD is out with nanna)
Also good customer service seems to be dwindling away. A staff member of a supermarket made us feel as though we were an inconvenience the other day because my mum picked up some slippers, they were reduced. She scanned them but they scanned at full price, she called the member of staff over and it was as if we'd asked her to reprogramme the whole computer system. Rolling her eyes, tutting, telling us she will have to take us to customer service as she was unable to sort this at self service, but with a really negative tone. Also in a different supermarket on a different occasion, someone had smashed a bottle of wine, near the checkouts. I made sure the pram wasn't in the way of the staff member sittin on the floor cleaning it up, but I heard a voice abruptly say "can you move your pram so I clean this up?" Now a simple please would've been ok, obviously I moved the pram even though it wasn't in the spillage but manners seem to be non existent recently. Maybe it's just where i live. Maybe I need to move...

AIBU to think this? Does anyone else feel the same? I feel quite sad that people don't interact much anymore.

Coming from France, I thought people in London were super polite and much nicer than in Paris

I think there's more self absorbed behaviour around. A lot of it, though, is due to societal and technological change. People work longer hours, have longer commutes, and really don't know their neighbours they way they used to. I think that leads to people living in a bubble sometimes, and not really showing much consideration for those who live near them because they're just not on their radar.

I also think mobile phones have created a situation where people are living constantly in their own little world and not really aware of others on the bus who might need a seat, or getting out of someone's way on the street and so on.

One thing I've definitely noticed is that people have got much louder - guffawing and shouting in restaurants, yelling into their phones on public transport, letting their children create a racket and annoy others in public spaces etc.

The irony in the OP is that a mother allowed her child to stand on the seat on the bus! Oh aye - fuck everyone else that has to sit there. I can't be the only one that didn't notice this?

The only one that did notice this.

I think most people are pretty nice. DS threw up everywhere at Paddington station and within 5 minutes 3 or 4 people had stopped to see if I needed any help offered water tissues etc. Different ages men and women and a horrible vom covered child. In the big city!

Ambulance service and hospital staff weren't commonly abused as they are now. All these warning signs in doctors surgeries so it must be prevalent.
LOUD people -drunk or just thoughtless, I mean during the day eg on my local train service, loud show offy teens, language sprinkled with Fs. We are all soooo impressed.
And trying to deal with problems with services- electricity, phone etc. Umpteen phone calls to useless support staff ( not really rudeness but exasperating and annoying when you want to speak to a helpful advisor).
The average individual is fine it's the numpties.

Things change, things stay the same. Swings and roundabouts. Some things change and this has ripple effects/ unintended consequences. Every generation has its moral panic and thinks things have gotten worse.

That woman on the bus was rude and overprotective but then when I was a kid the grown ups might know that someone was abusive to their children and never think to report it. Their kids, up to them what to do with them.

Maybe children are rude to adults now but being seen and not heard, or being allowed to challenge any adult on anything at all was bad in a different way.

the world very much reminds me of my first driving lesson where I would veer into the middle of the road then overcorrect and veer towards the ditch etc. Overcorrection follows overcorrection.

I watched a documentary the other day about a UK 1970s A and E dept. The doors were locked at night due to most patients being pissed and violent.

It's not new. It's just that every generation thinks theirs is worse.

'Well I'm in my fifties. When I was young there was massively more racism, sexism, disablism and homophobia.

When I was in school teachers were often violent and bullying was rife. Men beat their wives and kids with impunity. Women were more resigned to sexual assault. Disabled people were ridiculed and shoved in institutions. Gay people were also ridiculed and abused.

Yes people are less polite and more self absorbed now but on the whole society is much kinder.'

I'm glad you (and others) have said this Tinkly. When people refer to the 'good old days' they're referring to the time when, if you were a white, straight man you could basically stand on the necks of everybody else and get ahead with impunity. If you were a woman, disabled, of a different ethnic origin or gay, god help you.

People can be rude, yes, that's life. But don't get it into your head that a world in which it was acceptable to put a sign in your window saying 'No dogs, no blacks, no Irish' was somehow better.

I think 'people' are no better or worse than they ever were, but I think that 'behaviour' has become ruder, more abrupt and entitled, as a response to the stress levels people in the UK, and much of the western world, are now living with. I think that most people are working too hard and feeling under more pressure, often quite unreasonable and unhealthy pressure, in their jobs, and yet are still also feeling stressed financially, and powerless to change much about that. The relationship between people's work and home/family life is more strained or fractured than it was, say, 40 years ago too - people take work home, or can't get time off for school events, or have huge commutes that trash mealtimes or kids' bedtimes etc.

I think this kind of daily stress, pressure and powerlessness often comes out in mundane encounters - in shops, on the road, dealing with people on the phone, etc. I find myself doing it sometimes, or at least someone else's rudeness can set me off reflexively to be rude back, even though I don't think I'm an inherently unpleasant person. So I don't think it's accurate to say that people aren't nice anymore, more that normal daily life seems to bring out the worst in people more than it used to.

Was using the public loos today and the main door was pretty heavy and i was holding it open and let the two elderly ladies behind me go through to save them struggling which they were very grateful for.
Halfway through the door and a lady on her way out just barges straight through the middle of them rather than just wait a couple of seconds.
Took everything in my inner peace self not to trip her over but that would be me being mean so i resisted .
It’s a sad state of affairs that people have no manners or kindness in them anymore x

I agree newyorkartist, I think we're living in a society that has become busier and more stressful. People are fighting their way through heavy traffic to get to and from work; in many large companies there is no interaction between the decision makers and more junior employees so staff are just seen as names and numbers and there is little or no flexibility in the way they are treated; people are expected to be contactable out of work hours and the life/work balance is increasingly weighted on the work side; and many people are slaves to huge mortgages that they will be paying off for decades and which, for some people, also means knock on high childcare costs.

I think the pace of life has just become so hectic that many people are constantly running between one commitment and the next, fretting in long traffic jams, worrying about getting to schools and crèches on time and so on. It no doubt leads to frayed nerves, bad tempers and people just charging through the day, irritated by anyone who gets in their way.

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It depends where you live. We moved about 4km to a different area of our city and were shocked at how much nicer people are in our new neighbourhood!

Nearly every day I am delighted by how kind and friendly some people are, and depressed by other people's rudeness and antisocial behaviour. I'm an older woman and very often have younger people offering me a seat on public transport, holding doors open etc. - this is in a grimy part of inner London.

I did 4 years in retail & people were often exceptionally rude. Some were thoughtless, and some people didn't realise that their behaviour made us feel more like indentured servants than paid staff. We were obliged to smile & take the shit they slung. I would always apologise for till mistakes but the more humanely people treated me, the nicer or more genuinely contrite I'd be back. Women in particular could be pretty awful to fellow women.

On a very recent thread, yesterday infact, OP was posting about her probs with neighbours. Cue lots of people posting and saying, 'they are not your friends, they are your neighbours'. I couldn't understand this at all, can neighbours really not become friends? (i hear a song coming on) why ever not? why must they always be kept at arms length. I get that sometimes like in that OP's case it doesn't work out, but that's just life. Why shouldn't we want to be friends as well as neighbours? i don't mean pushing yourself on people, but at the same time why put up unnecessary barriers.

You're not meant to be friends with the school mums that's just sad!, you're not meant to be friends with colleagues because they are just colleagues, and definitely don't become friends with your neighbours. Okay.