To be fed up with picking up after husband and kids?

[Sennensurferkid]

Dh works full time, I work part time, he isn't lazy, he works long hours, does loads of diy, does a bit of cooking and tidying up (in a fashion), but he leaves crap lying around constantly. As does my eldest ds.

For example, dh has been called out to work early hours of this morning, he's left 3 pairs of joggers on the landing floor along with socks, boxers, t-shirts.

I found a pair of socks on the kitchen worktop, wtf?

A load of tools and decorating supplies strewn across every windowsill available, the kitchen work top, on the cooker hob.

Carrier bags from nipping to the shops dumped on the worktop.

Shoes in the middle of the floor.

Deodorant cans on every available surface.

There's a pile of receipts collecting on the upstairs windowsill.

A random coat hanger on the kitchen floor.

I'm sure there's more and that's only dhs things, my 10 year old has a similar amount of belongings dumped around the house.

My 3 year old has every broom and dustpan out playing horses and every cushion off the sofa making dens.

I picked up the same amount of crap yesterday morning while dh took ds to football, and dh had the cheek to say I hadn't done anything all morning!

I can't get on and do a bit of cleaning and hoovering until I've moved all the random shite out of my way.

When I tell them to pick it up themselves they just move it to another place.

Get a bin bag and fill it with their crap

Ugh I will, though I've tried that before, the bag last bed in the same place full of the crap until we moved house.

How can you say he's not lazy?

He's far too lazy to pick up after himself and even worse, he literally doesn't care that you doing it for him, is making you unhappy.

You need to sit him down and tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to pick up after himself. Point out that it's just pure selfishness.

You also need to do the same with the kids and make sure they stick to it, or there's be consequences.

I feel your pain...it's taken me forty min to clean living room as I had to move three hoodies, pens, plastic bags, games, chocolate wrapper and all the throws/cushions from the floor (comfy nap best for 7 year old). Then all the neverending Lego/piles of loose change to dust!
Bin bag seems like an excellent plan.....

I suppose I'm saying he not lazy because he's not sitting around, he is doing things, but he's leaving his junk everywhere in the meantime.

I was going to say "same here" at the title of your post but fuck me, those are piss taking levels of mess, I wouldn't put up with that. He might be hard working and do long hours but he sees you as a skivvy, someone there to tidy up after him. Everyone leaves bits and pieces lying around sometimes but that's just crap he can't be bothered to either bin or put away because he knows you'll do it.

I'm not quite sure what the answer is but you are DNBU.

As I work part time I don't mind doing most of the cleaning, as in cleaning the bathroom, dusting and hoovering, doing most of the washing, cooking tea if I'm home first, but I don't feel like doing it after I've fought through piles and piles of stuff.

Fuck it I'm just going to get a bag and chuck it all in out of my way and let him sort it out.

I have fantasised about putting it all into bin bags and then into the loft so I don't have to look at it. All left out items, so anything from jeans to sweetie wrappers. I just get cross because dc1 is nearly 2 and I don't want him to grow up thinking leaving crap everywhere is OK because someone else will pick up after him.

And what about the long term?

Are you going to sit him down and talk about it?

Also, with regards to the kids (especially the 10yr old), you can them a bin bag. Tell them to put any rubbish in it and make sure they actually put everything else back in its place.

Go and check afterwards to make sure it's been done.

If you don't do this now, they'll grow up with the same attitude towards you as their dad has.

I did have a talk about it a while back and it got much better for a bit, but things seem to have slipped back into old ways.

I fall into the trap of thinking it's my job because I work part time, but i don't think it's actually my job to pick up after everyone. It's the same thing day in day out.

I will speak to dh again, usually the response I get is how he'd like to help but he's never here, he's always at work. That's just a cop out really because if you can chuck your dirty laundry on the floor you can chuck it in the basket. Same as with everything else.

I put it in a bin bag, then put it on his side of the bed, inside the bed.

I told him next time, it would be inside his bed, and not in the bin bag.

That was thirty years ago and he's been good ever since.

If I put it in the bed he'd just put it on the floor, would it be too horrible to put it on the seat in his works can? That would get his attention because that really would be in his way.

VAN not can.

Can you wait until he is sitting watching tv (or something) and then interrupt with a pile of the junk? That's what I do when dp leaves his paperwork all over the place. I also pick up shoes/jumpers and wander back and forth in front of the tv. Sometimes even get the hoover out for good measure
It doesn't solve things for long... but he is usually so keen for me to stop being a nuisance he deals with it!

How old is your youngest child?
The trouble is , while you work part time, they will all think it is your job, particularly because you take responsibility for cleaning. If you worked full time and had a cleaner, everyone would have a frantic hour of de muddling the night before the cleaner's session. It worked for my family and seems to be the set up for most people I know.
The family will hopefully stop regarding you as the domestic drudge and all take a part in keeping the home afloat.

Ah 'depositing'
I'm a sahm- 3 dd and 1 lovely hubs. They just deposit stuff everywhere.
I used to nag- and chase them to sort it out but it was still down to me, iykwim?
It took a few instances of me throwing stuff away but oh my, it worked. As I pointed out, if you care so little about whatever item then it may as well be in the bin as sitting under the kitchen table.
Items the bin claimed where socks, headphones, magazines, pens etc.
Now they know not to just leave it at their arse. Cos mum will bin it!

I have a 'Chuck it Tuesday' bag, all crap that's lying around gets dropped into the bag which is chucked out on Tuesday, when the bins are collected - they have until then to retrieve it and put it away (if it's not bin week it still goes in the bin, and they have been known to rummage after stuff 🤮)

I will speak to dh again, usually the response I get is how he'd like to help but he's never here, he's always at work.

Then he totally missed the point didn't he?

I hope you pointed out that picking up after himself is not 'helping' you. It's just basic adult behaviour.

If he did it as he went along, he wouldn't have to be 'there' and 'not at work'.

Mine is just like this. He is v hard working in the sense that he works every single day and often works late into the night. He dies a lot of other stuff to contribute to the household. But the bastard just isn't domesticated. I blame his parents instead of teaching him to be clean they picked up after him and shipped him off to boarding school in this unfinisjed fashion. It's a pain in the arse and I have had to train him myself. It may be too late to do anything about your DH but you really need to stop picking up after your eldest and insist they do it themselves properly.

I am so adopting Chuck it Tuesday

I also like the stern words someone had on here, tell him, every time the deposits something to repeat the words ‚‘Fuck You Sennen‘ because that IS what he is saying with his actions.

I would gather every item in the way, put it in a bag and cheerfully say "I've gathered up all this stuff for you to put away in the right place as I can't do the cleaning with it all in the way. Thanks darling!"

Then saunter off and get on with the hoovering and cleaning.

All with a smile and a nod.

Keep doing it until he gets the hint to not to leave shit everywhere!

Im sat here stewing for the same reasons.
Hes lost his medication this morninv amd its my fault for rescueing it from tje toddler, not his for leaving it accesable to her. I have a photo where he left the "fixed" hoover on top of my cooker along with tools. I feel your pain. I have a bad back which requires furthur investigation and he said he and kids will step up and help more. That was 2 weeks ago and im still doing everything.

I think he has missed the point, you're right.

Youngest is 3, as much as I love my days off with him, working full time, having a cleaner and everyone chipping in seems very appealing in many ways.

I'm definitely doing chuck it Tuesday,

Yes that's another thing, 3 year old is still very much into everything. So I have to move everything out of his way too.

I would get a laundry basket, or something similar, fill it up every time you find stuff and then tell them you’ll empty the contents of the basket into the bin every Friday..

I would be v annoyed at this but raging if he’d asked me what I’d done all morning