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AIBU?

Expectation adjustment

4 replies

Chunk78 · 29/09/2018 15:44

Really could do with opinions here pls. OH and I have been together for 24 years, and it was our 19th wedding anniversary last week. Usually he says ‘don’t buy me anything’ and I tend just to make him a nice meal and buy a card and a little token. (I did buy him a card and a handmade china Herat with Happy Anniversary 2018’ on it. I usually get flowers or chocolates. This year, I have had nothing. Admittedly, I was on a course on the actual day so he was home before me and ge reheated himself the left over chilli I’d left in the fridge. (None was saved for me) Money is a bit tight, (2 kids at independent school, eldest DD started Uni) and we’ve a few bigger purchases (professional subscriptions/insurances) to pay for but nothing like as tight as it has been as young students years ago. I’ve suggested I’ve been a bit offended by this only to be told - as I have been recently that I’m behaving spoiled. He has said frequently that we choose to spend our money on the luxurious lifestyle choice of having children in independent education, and expecting things like anniversary presents or another example is a phone upgrade (mines smashed to shite) are further examples of me being ‘spoiled’. I’m struggling to see how my kids education makes me spoiled. AIBU to think that things that directly benefit our children shouldn’t replace nice things like an anniversary gift for me? Or should I adjust my expectations......

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AtrociousCircumstance · 29/09/2018 15:47

No you’re not spoiled. And him using that word is disgusting patronising.

A bunch of flowers and a loving attitude would have cost very little. He’s making a point, but why?

Any other behavioural changes?

Have your started the private schooling in the past year? He’s obviously annoyed about it. Which makes him sound ‘spoilt’.

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AtrociousCircumstance · 29/09/2018 15:48

(Because presumably he agreed to it but is now blaming you).

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AlphaBravo · 29/09/2018 15:49

Leave the bastard.

Who'd want to spend their best years with such a tight fisted arse.

Yabu OP to think you should have to adjust them even a mm.

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Chunk78 · 29/09/2018 17:42

Thanks for your reply This is the fifth year of school fees, and the reason they are in the local independent school is that OH was desperate to move to this area (his family are here) and the local comp is in special measures.

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