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AIBU?

Birthday meal

24 replies

Ifonlystarlight · 29/09/2018 14:52

Partners big birthday coming up.
I want to go for a nice meal with about eight family members.

So I was thinking of giving out menus, getting them to pre order, I will pay for the food and a few of bottles of wine on the table maybe two white one red.
Then after this people order their own drinks and pay for them at the bar?

Don’t want to be a cheeky fucker but don’t think I could afford the whole bill drinks for eight wine loving adults.
If this seems cheeky I will have to re think and do something else maybe a small party at home.

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TeaForTiger · 29/09/2018 14:53

I think it sounds lovely and very generous.

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Thesearmsofmine · 29/09/2018 14:55

I think that sounds lovely! I wouldn’t expect to be paid for at all!

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cariadlet · 29/09/2018 14:57

I've always paid for myself if I've gone out for a birthday meal. What you're suggesting sounds very generous.

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ApolloandDaphne · 29/09/2018 14:57

I think that sounds very generous.

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Noboozeforme · 29/09/2018 15:04

Very generous. I'd always expect to pay for myself at a birthday meal out.

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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/09/2018 15:14

Not cheeky at all. Very generous actually.

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Ifonlystarlight · 29/09/2018 15:15

Oh good I’m pleased people think this is polite.
I’ve just seen on here people say it’s cheeky fucker territory to invite others out on a birthday meal and not to pay.
But the way a certain couple of family members get through the wine I’d be bankrupt so whilst I’m happy to pay for the food I really can’t stretch to wine also.

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EK36 · 29/09/2018 15:24

Think that's lovely. Yes I agree, tell others that when the table wine runs out then to buy from the bar.

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Bluelady · 29/09/2018 15:26

Sounds perfect and very generous.

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pissingglitter · 29/09/2018 16:00

I do the exact same thing for my husband’s 50th. I paid for everyone’s food and people bought their own drink.

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pissingglitter · 29/09/2018 16:00

Do? Meant did :)

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Bimgy85 · 29/09/2018 16:26

Yes that's absolutely perfect.

At my uncles wedding we did this, full meal and few bottles of wine paid for but after that it was buy your own :)

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TakeAChanseyOnMe · 29/09/2018 16:32

Sounds very generous indeed. I’d expect to pay for my own meal.

Can you book somewhere with a private room and a set group menu? So you know what it’ll cost.

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KC225 · 29/09/2018 16:51

That would suit me as I don't drink wine, and don't alcohol whilst eating, somehow I always end up with a 20 quid or so tagged onto the bill to subsidise a older relatives empty legs. When I complain, I get 'But you had two glasses of 7 UP or 'Don't make a fuss and ruin the night'

Enjoy OP.

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Ifonlystarlight · 29/09/2018 17:07

Well dp has said he’d like the dc to attend so I’m now thinking about making it a Sunday roast For the Timing (not too late) and what the children will eat.
But this would also limit the cost to top price £16 for a main meal as i could just give choices of. beef/chicken/pork roast.
Then the children’s meals and a few bottles of wine, I think I could keep the cost under £250.
Tea and cake back at our house so no deserts out. The thing that may bump it up would be if people ordered starters.
Or alternatively I could do something completely different and spend the £250 and put food on at home and buy a fair bit of alcohol in for those who like a drink.

Not sure what to do. What do people think sounds better?
I just want our parents and siblings/partners to have a nice time with dp but we just aren’t flush with money at the moment.

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Ifonlystarlight · 29/09/2018 17:09

*should say have a nice time with dp on his birthday but me not look like a right area wife!

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Ifonlystarlight · 29/09/2018 17:09

  • a tight arse wife
    Good grief this autocorrect!
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spanishwife · 29/09/2018 17:17

That sounds incredibly generous!

I would just state you are paying for main meals and few bottles of wine on the table, that is more than enough!

If you enjoy hosting and your place is big enough, then it would be lovely at home too, but much more effort on your part.

I like the other poster's idea of a 'set meal' in a private room - is that an option?

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TakeAChanseyOnMe · 29/09/2018 18:22

If you want to do food at home, you could get the likes of Cook dinner party meals -
all prep done for you, just stick in the oven. You could ask people to BYOB and provide some prosecco etc.

If it’s a set menu then you won’t have the issue of starters or not in a restaurant. Are you able to give a rough area of the country that you’re in so we could give suggestions?

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Norma27 · 29/09/2018 18:43

I think either option sounds lovely and is generous of you. To be honest, as it is your partners birthday I would probably just ask which they would prefer.

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PinkHeart5914 · 29/09/2018 18:46

Very generous of you!

When I go out for people’s birthday dinners I always expect to pay for myself

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Ifonlystarlight · 29/09/2018 18:59

I was initially thinking an Italian restaurant that is very good locally.
However if it’s the Sunday we go for, I would use a country pub as park in beer garden for the dc if it’s warm enough. This would also limit the cost as id just tell everyone they’d have the option of a meat roast (no vegetarians) and to let me know what they wanted in advance and I would pay.
The Italian however will have mains up to and over 30.00 so if we go for this option I may have to go for a ‘set meal’ option.

I don’t think I could get a private room in either. But that’s ok could still decorate tables etc.

Takeachansey that also sounds good, the cook dinner party food. Where do you get this from?

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TakeAChanseyOnMe · 29/09/2018 19:06

www.cookfood.net/menu/entertaining/cook-for-a-crowd/dinner-party-for-8

There’s more options if you look in the other sections. It’s all frozen but very high quality food. There’s stores in major cities but they deliver. There’s usually discount codes too.

M&S/Waitrose etc do entertaining food too.

In terms of asking people to select in advance, I had a very small wedding (I fed 30) and we had a private area in a restaurant. The chef/owner suggested against pre orders as people either forget what they ordered or change their mind on the day! If it’s a set menu then it’s usually a choice of 3 for each course that’s easy for the kitchen to prepare.

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Pinkprincess1978 · 29/09/2018 21:38

More than generous- your partner is very lucky and I hope they have a lovely time

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