Dwelling on the past and having regrets

[Feelinglow2]

Just that really. Do you have any regrets? How do you stop dwelling on the past and the embarrassing moments/mistakes you've made? Especially when you've made a fool out of yourself in front of others.

Once I think about a certain regret or past embarrassing mistake, I replay it in my mind all the time until it's all I can think about. Please help me move past this

I keep thinking if people are still talking about the embarrassing things I did etc

Sorry you are feeling low. I think that old saying about yesterday's news, tomorrow's chip paper helps bring things into perspective.

What felt like a calamity to you might well have gone unnoticed by others, or most likely will have been quickly forgotten.

Yesterday's drama is quickly overtaken by today's drama, and what felt important to you would not have been so important to others. Other people's thoughts are dominated by their own dramas / gaffes / joys and regrets, not yours.

I can highly recommend acupuncture for this type of emotional problem. I was the worlds worst for dwelling on the past, replaying events and imagining what would happen if I had made different choices. It is exhausting and made me so unhappy and just stuck in negativity. After treatment it was literally like a cloud had lifted. I was able to think the thought and then move on, no more dwelling.
Who knows if acupuncture is a real thing or not..who cares...it worked for me.

CBT is another option. Get help though, there is no point living like this if you don’t have to.

I used to visualise an enormous STOP sign when I couldn't move on from unhelpful thoughts. It was quite an effective strategy.

I think a few things.......

1. Those embarrassing things I did helped me in some way. We learn the most from these moments I think.
2. How often do you sit around dwelling on what embarrassing things other people have done? Probably never because actually we focus on ourselves mainly.
3. Be nice to yourself!! Be your biggest fan not your biggest critic.
4. Who cares....... did you hurt anyone or was you just a bit silly. I bet there are worse things you could’ve done.
5. You're torturing yourself for something that happened a long time ago and you have no control over but you are in control of your thoughts. Actively think of something else but also forgive yourself, you’re only human and you don’t deserve it 💐

How do you stop dwelling on the past and the embarrassing moments/mistakes you've made? Every time you catch yourself doing it, deliberately shift your mind elsewhere - go and do something that takes enough concentration that you can't think, but not so much that you keep giving up and drifting back.

If you want to learn something, get it firmly fixed in your memory, a good way is to keep going over it every spare minute you have. Therefore you need to do the opposite to forget things.

Nobody's still talking about you. And if they ever were, it was masking a relief that someone else was nearly as big a prat as they were.

Thank you so much for your replies. I'll try acupuncture, and just have to train myself to think positively. But it's so hard when you're just going in circles and replaying everything in your head.

The things are past. You can't change them. Think of all the good things in your life now and how you are a good person now. Look forward to the future.
Things is the past were who you were then not who you are now or who you are going to be tomorrow.
All the best. NLP or CBT might help.
I am not qualified to give advice just a human who has made lots of embarrassing mistakes and genuine ones.
Hugs.

We all make mistakes and embarrass ourselves. If you didn't hurt anyone there is no harm done.

You can't control the thoughts that come into your head but you can choose whether to dwell on them or not, the less you dwell on them the less they will pop into your head. Eventually they won't come back.

I like the "STOP" sign that starbrightlight uses. Rhymes and songs work too, something upbeat that you know all the words to.