The background to this is that I am SAHP and do the donkey work of parenting. Due to how DH works, I do all mornings, all lunch times (DCs come home from school for lunch), all picks ups, all dinners, etc. A few years ago I was at breaking point and we agreed that on Saturday mornings he would take the DCs so I could work.
He’s done this pretty much regularly for five years, although often he does not leave the house which always gets me involved with the DCs and the activity he does on saturdays is not fun for the DCs so often they complain and end up staying with me.
This week he announced that he would not be doing the activity as he has a training session at home with his trainer who will also be bringing his two DCs over. I immediately said that I am not doing childcare for all these DCs (I also do all play dates, take to all activities, organise all parties). So now the trainer is here and there are four kids under 7yo on their own in the garden. Our garden opens onto our farm, there are also builders on the other side of the house driving a dumper truck and throwing things off a roof and our two dogs are with the kids. The dogs are friendly but the young Germans Shepherd often gets over enthusiastic - I do not leave the DCs unsupervised with the dogs and certainly not other people’s DCs. DH is two floors away out of sight and sound of all the DCs.
When I just told him how unhappy I was with the arrangement he had the nerve to tell me it was my fault for not wanting to get involved. IS there a way to reason with such a person? He either ignores me and leaves me to do everything or he ignores the kids and knows I will have to step in.