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AIBU?

To expect DH not to fall asleep

13 replies

Newmrs22 · 29/09/2018 07:37

I’m heavily pregnant with DC2. DS is 2 and woke up before 6am today so DH got up with him so I could sleep. I was woken up an hour later by DS running around screaming and bashing around in DH’s study where he’s not allowed to be for various reasons (expensive equipment, safety etc). I get up and take him back downstairs. DH is asleep on the sofa. AIBU to expect that the adult who gets up with him properly supervises him and doesn’t fall asleep?

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DeadGood · 29/09/2018 07:39

YANBU. DH didn’t do his job and now you won’t be able to trust him to get up and stay awake with your DS.

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Bridgetwithoutthejones · 29/09/2018 07:40

A bit- he must have just dozed off again. You’re not BU if he intentionally went back to sleep but if it just happened can’t really blame him

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BareBum · 29/09/2018 07:41

Yanbu. Very irresponsible.

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SoyDora · 29/09/2018 07:42

YANBU to hope/expect it, but sometimes these things happen. He wouldn’t have fallen asleep if he wasn’t tired, I imagine.
If it was a one off I wouldn’t be too pissed off, just make sure you both try and get some rest today if possible.
(Talking as someone who fell asleep on the sofa the other day while my 3 year old was watching TV after lunch. I didn’t intend to, I was jusy exhausted... also heavily pregnant).

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adaline · 29/09/2018 07:46

It's quite easy to lie on the sofa and doze off unintentionally! Unless you think he did it on purpose I wouldn't go in all guns blazing.

It happens. It's not ideal, but it happens.

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HundredsAndThousandsOfThem · 29/09/2018 07:47

I think it depends, if I've been exhausted I might accidentally fall back off to sleep before I finished by coffee, completely by accident. If you think he didn't make much effort to stay awake then YANBU.

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Sirzy · 29/09/2018 07:50

Sometimes, especially when exhausted, you can’t help but dose off.

You need to make a safe space for the two year old to play. You need to put a lock on the door on the study so he can’t get in.

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Llanali · 29/09/2018 07:55

Agree with Sirzy. If it was a genuine accident and he didn’t bed down intentionally with his pillow, then fine.

I don’t go in for a fight about something I think I might wind up doing one day, intentional or otherwise.

You also need to lock that study door, and get a baby gate on the sitting room or wherever they were. Then doZing on a sofa whilst a 2/3 year year old
Watches tv in v close proximity in a safe space isn’t much of a problem.

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WrongKindOfFace · 29/09/2018 07:57

Who hasn’t fallen asleep on th sofa? Toddlerproof just in case one of you does fall asleep or ready for when you’re stuck on the sofa with a new baby.

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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/09/2018 08:04

You're tired, DH is tired. At least he got up with him I guess. But I agree that he should have at least shut his study door.

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Holdmydrink · 29/09/2018 08:19

I agree that he shouldn't have fallen asleep, but context matters.

Does he do this every time? Have you had a difficult week of broken sleep? Has he had a tough week?

I could imagine my DH doing this easily if we'd had a tough week. But if it's not his usual form to do this, then a bit of give and take is okay, surely. Let's support each other as parents, rather than make each other feel like bad parents.

If he does this every weekend however, then YANBU

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Newmrs22 · 29/09/2018 08:19

I don’t think he did it on purpose (although he was properly lying down with a blanket tucked up Hmm so that probably didn’t help). Will look at getting a stair gate on the living room today. Thanks for the advice. The house is pretty toddler proof just that one room, which for some reason wasn’t shut this morning. Typical.

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ladyflower23 · 29/09/2018 08:28

I see why you’re annoyed but I have to confess to falling asleep on the sofa many times while my non sleeping toddler has been watching tv. It’s not ideal but happens. Maybe get a lock on the study door in case it happens again

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