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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Train seats

62 replies

Monstrous · 28/09/2018 16:46

Bear with me... i’m bored on a packed train....
So twice today I have arrived on a train to find someone sat in my reserved seat announcing that their seat is “over there” for me to sit in and assuming that I don’t mind where I sit.
I don’t in fact really mind ....I’m not that bothered about a window seat....but why would you not sit in the seat you reserved....?
I guess i’m the kind of person that would never sit in someone else’s seat. If I wanted to swap for whatever reason (ie I was with a companion) I would wait until the other person arrived then explain and ask politely to swap.
I’m curious. It seems odd behaviour to take the seat and assume the other person will be fine with it...
(Be gentle... I don’t go on trains often... in fact I don’t get out much at all... and i’m not bothered just curious as to whether this is acceptable social behaviour or whether they are CFs)

OP posts:

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/09/2018 17:49

I don't get why people don't book seats on long journeys. It's free, and easy enough to do. Because often if you have a season ticket you're not allowed to book a seat. Or if you've travelled for a meeting, you're not sure when the meeting will finish therefore which train you will be on.

Oldbutstillgotit · 28/09/2018 18:07

DH and I went to Spain recently . I had paid for sears together however when we boarded there was a woman in the middle seat (mine ). I pointed out she was in my seat but she was really awkward - said she wanted to sit beside her DH etc but they had been allocated seats a few rows apart . I asked why she hadn’t paid for sears and she accused me of trying to humiliate her ! Anyway, cabin crew were good ( probably because we were holding up boarding ) so she had to move to her allocated seat but not before she told me I was selfish !

OliviaStabler · 28/09/2018 18:17

I pointed out she was in my seat but she was really awkward - said she wanted to sit beside her DH etc but they had been allocated seats a few rows apart.

What gets me is they seem to have no comprehension that other people want to sit together too!

Trills · 28/09/2018 18:20

Do you think that when she got on, someone was already sitting in her reserved seat?

And she thought that instead of asking them to move, she'd sit in your seat and make you have the unpleasant experience of having to make someone move?

DollyWilde · 28/09/2018 18:23

DH has had this twice recently, but on both occasions the awkward thing was that the train was packed, if he’d asked the person in his seat to move they’d have been standing, and on both occasions the occupier was a frail-looking older woman. He is an able bodied 30 something male and didn’t have the heart to ask them to move, so wound up standing the whole journey. FWIW I think he did the right thing but it’s a PITA.

ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 28/09/2018 18:27

Rarely take trains but whenever I fly solo someone always asks me to swap. I always do if they ask nicely and as long as it’s not a worse seat (I wouldn’t take a class downgrade or a middle seat) but I’d make a point of insisting they move if they were so entitled as to just sit there expectantly.

Inertia · 28/09/2018 18:38

Sometimes people do make seat reservations , but when an entire train is cancelled the knock on effect for the next train is huge.

Original poster

Monstrous · 28/09/2018 18:40

Train was not full.
No-one sat in other persons seat on either occasion.
It’s just inexplicable...

OP posts:

Justkeeprollingalong · 28/09/2018 19:32

This happened to my daughter. Booked a seat for a six hour journey, got on the very busy train to find a big, belligerent man in her seat. Asked him politely to let her have her seat. He said 'fuck off sweetheart'. She's no wimp, but she did 😏

PoxAlert · 28/09/2018 19:44

I always get this rage on the Eurostar.

I take it frequently and in standard class there aren't many tables.

I book far out and make sure I have a table seat.

But I get on at Ebbsfleet, so people get on at St Pancras and see an empty table and take it.

So many times I've had to clean up peoples food crumbs who thought it ok to sit on a table for 20 minutes even though it's clearly going to have been the first part of the train to be reserved.

And then I get the shitty looks for asking them to move.

Sorry. Rant over.

Minniemountain · 28/09/2018 20:36

Over the years I've had:
1.Woman whose English suddenly got a lot worse so she didn't understand what I was asking her to do

A woman who grudgingly moved her luggage off her own seat whilst sitting in my reserved window seat. She then bitched about me to the man across the aisle.

The most ridiculous behaviour I've seen was a man sitting in a reserved window seat on a busy train. Mother and son then get on and ask him to move as son is disabled. The train is full, so man decides to go "strong and wrong". Unfortunately the son had SEN and needed his DM sitting opposite him, so started to get upset. I think the whole carriage hated that man by the time he moved.

burningsage · 28/09/2018 20:50

I always book the window as you get a plug! Just ask them to move.

Justkeeprollingalong · 28/09/2018 21:16

Just ask them to move? See my post below!

Littlepleasures · 28/09/2018 22:46

What rights do you have though re train bookings, if the interloper point blank refuses to move and there’s no other free seat? Can you just go and sit in first class till the ticket inspector gets them to move?

A few years ago sitting on a packed plane ready for take off. Last passenger, a mild mannered bloke early thirties, gets on. Toddler sitting in his seat. No empty seats anywhere else on the plane. Toddler’s mum had only booked one seat but was adamant she couldn’t be expected to have the toddler on her knee for the whole journey. Poor bloke was mortified, felt like some sort of abuser but there was no option. He needed that seat or the plane couldn’t take off. The woman held out for a good ten minutes. What on earth was she thinking?

Eeeeek2 · 28/09/2018 23:06

I had this 2 adults and 4 children under 10, 2 with special needs. Booked table of 4 and 2 adjacent. Family of 4 sat in our table pointed to other tables that were free (currently) explained that we were a party of 6 and also had these 2 seats next to table. Politely stated there we learning difficulties involved too so we needed to stay together incase 1 adult had to take a child to loo etc.

Stone wall, resulted in one child having a meltdown and trying to leave train. Thankfully the train guard backed us up and made them move. Some people are idiots who don't care about anybody but themselves.

DuchessThingy · 28/09/2018 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Runrunrudolf · 28/09/2018 23:10

This thing usually churns my butter specifically because my motion sickness is horrendous sitting backwards.
I always make sure to reserve a forwards eat especially on virgin trains because there's so little.

Usually people sit in my seat and get out in a hump when I ask but some like my recent trip don't want to move and just ask me to sit In theirs which is backwards

I usually tell them if I throw up or get a migraine I will be back to vomit upon or kill them haha
I sat on someone once, not ideal I know but I'm too sassy sometimes

DuchessThingy · 28/09/2018 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theendofeverything · 28/09/2018 23:39

I once got on a train and Jane Asher was sitting in my reserved (forward facing) seat.

I didn't make her move because I am a wuss. I sat in the seat opposite her even though I hate going backwards on the train.

BreconBeBuggered · 29/09/2018 00:00

DS and I got to our booked table seats last month to find a woman already there, all 4 seats piled up with her luggage and apparently fast asleep with her bare feet on the only available spare inches of the seat opposite remaining. Sadly I wasn't as squeamish about a stranger's little piggies as she might have hoped. She could barely be seen for suitcases by the time DS and I were in position.

jcyclops · 29/09/2018 02:58

If I have booked a seat and it is occupied, if there is another unreserved free seat as good or better then I will not ask the person to move, but if there isn't then I will politely ask them to move, ignoring all excuses and getting train staff to enforce it if necessary. If I find a better seat that is unreserved and decide to sit there, I will remove the card from the back of my reserved seat after checking that nobody else has reserved the seat for a later leg of the journey.

If I have not booked a seat and can't find an unreserved one, I will sit in a reserved seat. I will firstly look for seats where the passenger has not turned up, secondly for a seat where the reservation doesn't start for a long way into the journey and finally just sit anywhere. Seat reservations are given automatically when booking, even if the passenger has a ticket that allows them to take an earlier or later train - which they often do. There are always plenty of reserved seats that are not taken up. If the passenger with the correct reservation turns up I will move.

On many continental railways the reservation only lasts for 15 minutes from the point of departure, but the position is unclear in Britain. I don't think it is right to kick someone out of your reserved seat 2 hours into a long distance journey after spending that 2 hours in a different seat.

The most annoying practice is Cross Country trains and their electronic reservation displays, which allow seats to be reserved after a train has started its journey. You can sit in an unreserved seat in Newcastle, only to find when you reach Leeds that the seat is now reserved from Leeds to Bristol, and you have to move. I have heard that the only way to prevent this is to tell train staff to reserve your seat on the spot when they come down the train, but I haven't tried this yet.

OliviaStabler · 29/09/2018 07:09

If they will not move and you cannot sit anywhere in standard close by, you go and find the guard who will make them move or find you a free seat in another carriage. Last few times I've seen people try and sit in first class without a first class ticket, they were swiftly and firmly moved on.

underneaththeash · 29/09/2018 07:19

We had not one, but two people sitting in our seats for our flight home from Canada in the summer. One woman had just made a mistake, but the other guy just wanted to sit next to his wife and was really arsey about having to move. The flight attendant offered him a couple of seats in economy instead if he wanted to sit next to his wife that badly. He moved.

clockworklime · 29/09/2018 07:32

When this happens to me, the excuse I’m usually given is “but someone is sitting in my seat”.

“That’s not my problem, that’s yours - how about you ask them to move, like I’m asking you to move?”

ChampionThreadKiller · 29/09/2018 08:03

Ah the cinema! This makes me so cross when someone is the seat I have chosen (middle at the back so no one behind or in front of me).

Once when I asked the interloper to move, she said that it didn’t matter where anyone sits. I replied that if it didn’t matter, she wouldn’t mind moving then would she? She then moved further along only to have to move again when that seat’s person arrived! Just sit in the seat you’ve been allocated/chosen, it’s really not difficult!

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