Am I being selfish?

[CuriousSoul]

Supposed be going out tonight for a birthday meal with my 2 close pals, one of them is cancelling as her friends grandad has died so she wants to be there for her. She's been with her friend all day and I just asked her if she could spare 2 hours for my birthday meal? Aibu?

Yes.

Yes

Yes

Yes. It sucks for you but you should be pleased you have such a lovely caring friend.

The onus is on her though to apologise and offer to reschedule your meal to celebrate together at a time in the near future. Has she done that or just cancelled on you? I’d give her a few days but I’d be expecting her to make some plans with you to make up for cancelling at such short notice.

You are being a bit unreasonable. Your friends other friend is obviously in pain, that trumps a birthday meal you can have with her another time

Very. Death trumps birthday meal

Yes

Thanks guys I'll tell her we can re arrange

YANBU to feel let down, that's understandable.

Now, I know I'm going to get roasted for this...but your friend's behaviour does seem slightly OTT. She has been comforting grieving friend all day, surely she can let her breathe spare a couple of hours to go out with you. I know when my own Gran died a few of my friends showed face at the wake but certainly no one visited me at home in the immediate aftermath.

Hope you have a great night out anyway with your other friend and happy birthday!

I though the same pastures, I imagine some complicating factors are at play though for someone to want their friend with them all day and night for the loss of a grandparent. Maybe they were raised by them or they were really struggling to support their parent who lost their parent. I don’t know many people who’d need a friend by their side for hours on end for the loss of a grandparent.