Do I deserve a thank you?

[CadleCrap]

Twin nephews 14th birthday.

Sent them each an Australian $50 prepaid Visa card. Unbeknown to me there is a fault with some of these card so some were loaded with the wrong amount.( not UK)

I paid $110 in total, $5 for each card activation fee.

One twin had $50 on their card, the other $100 due to the fault.

Their mun( my sister) has said thanks and told me the $50/100 story, but the boys haven’t.

My sister and I were brought up to send thank you cards, l remember our Mum writing out the thank you letter and having to copy it before I could even write.

I don’t expect a letter , but the boys both have a phone and could have sent me a text. It has been two weeks since their birthday.

Or are they pissed off with me that one got $50 and the other $100 so therefore no thanks?

AIBU to expect at least one thank you? Or does my sister saying thank you on behalf of her boys constitute their thanks?

Btw it is my sons birthday (10) next week and I know my sister has sent him a present and the first thing I will make him do is send a thank you email.

I'm presuming you and Dsis don't really get on anyway from the sounds of it.

I think its a cultural thing and more specifically around children. From where I am in Australia it is not the done thing to send thank you cards after party - a heart felt thank you for my present in person at the party is enough.
Also, a thank you from a parent of children for a present would be considered standard.
Australia is massive country - I'm not saying its like that everywhere but it is from where I am from. I get you might think its strange - but we think its strange you can look people in the eye at a party and thank them sincerely for their present, and then need to waste paper handwriting another thank you.

My oldest friends kids are Australian, they always text to say thank you. We don't even actually send the presents anymore as it's too risky and expensive. We each buy the present for our own child and write the tag from each other.

To be far to them I often facetime my OH or he does me and it often rings for ages he doesn't answer and then it doesn't show him that I've called. Not even a missed call. I think it's a common problem, especially if one of you has a poor signal. If you Google it you'll see its actually a common problem

DId the pre-paid charge you $150? I'd be getting that $50 back.

I think its a cultural thing and more specifically around children. From where I am in Australia it is not the done thing to send thank you cards after party - a heart felt thank you for my present in person at their present, and then need to waste paper handwriting another thank you.

But it is not after a party? Of course if someone hands you a gift in person you would say thank you. This is a gift from someone overseas and of course it requires a thank you! If the facetime wasn't answered, the mother should have encouraged them both to send a text message. Would have taken one minute at most.

Wow, her manners are JUST as bad as her sons’! “Sorry they’re not perfect!?”

I suppose if there is ANYTHING to be said in her defence, ONE of the jobs of being
Parent to teenagers is to tell them what’s expected of them and then LET THEM GET ON WITH IT.

They also need to learn consequences and giving your sis the benefit of the doubt here...

Although with the 100/50 mix up, and the failure to equalise that... it’s not looking good and it looks like she’s had a bypass when it comes to grace and manners...

For all you know, your mum may have bollocked her... did your mum also send a gift that wasn’t acknowledged by them?

They should be thanking you instead of your sister doing it.

But now sister has done it ...they think it's been done, I guess.

Although she should still encourage them to say thank you directly (text is fine) because i have neice and nephew in their 20s who STILL dont say thank you bc they got too used to their mum doing it for them!

Somehow being Australian hasn't stopped my ds from being able to thank people for gifts.

At 14 their manners just reflect upon her, that's why she is so defensive.

Yes they should have thanked you.

I had a bit of this. I now send nothing.