Worried about Christmas

[Yellowcar107]

This will be our first Christmas where money will be an issue. I am normally the working parent but as soon as I fell pregnant my contract suddenly ended and now we are in the red. My partner has gone back to work but he just covers bills and food.

The baby is due December 2nd and we need to get all the stuff together for the baby rather than splashing out on gifts this year.

I have spoken to my side of the family, they understand and I will be getting the children (under 18's) a token present each.

However the inlaws are difficult, my side we only buy the kids presents anyway but on inlaws side they want to do presents for everyone and that is a lot of people.

Sorry for going on but I wanted to give best explanation of our situation.

What I am hoping is for some advice on how to tell the inlaws we can't afford it like we have before.

MIL always over spends on us and our DD and already buying presents 🤦🏼‍♀️ I just don't want to cause friction, they are very much a give to receive type of people as I have got to know them over the years.

[Justanothernameonthepage]

Just be honest. Tell them upfront that right now money is really tight and with the baby you don't want anyone disappointed. That you just can't join in with the gift giving and receiving. Maybe suggest a new tradition, where everyone spends £15 and you all play white elephant en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant_gift_exchange

[SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst]

What I am hoping is for some advice on how to tell the inlaws we can't afford it like we have before

I don't really understand the issue here. Just tell them exactly what you've put in your post: you have a baby due & have reduced income so cannot afford to spend much on Christmas this year.

I also don't understand why it's your problem to deal with. Why can't your DH tell his family that things are tight this year so you won't be spending much this year?

What can they do about it anyway? They can't come round to your house and force you to buy gifts against your will, and you haven't got the money to do that anyway.

Or were you looking for something other than advice from the thread?

[Lovestonap]

Money is not too tight for us at the moment but yesterday I spoke to my mum and discussed us not buying for adults any more (and she wouldn't have to buy for us). I simply said we could do something nice together instead and it will take the faff out of Christmas. I think she's ok with it. I will do the same with my dad (Parents aren't together) and my siblings and I already don't buy for each other. We just buy for the kids.

There is no shame in saying money's too tight this year - particularly in your situation! Say you wanted to let them know now that you won't be buying before they start to think about buying for you. Be firm. And good luck!

[Tartsamazeballs]

Just say "no we can't this year". If they persist ask them what joy they'd take in receiving a present that wipes out your food/electric/whatever budget for a week?

[MrsStrowman]

That's so mean, my MIL practically insisted the other day that we mustn't get them anything for Christmas not even a token gift as baby is due end of December, and she's just retired solely so she can provide us with two days a week free childcare! My idea have said the same and my mum will be having baby one day a week, and we've agreed with DB and SIL it's DCs only for gifts from now on and we all earn pretty well.
To quote Grange Hill, just say no OP.