AIBU?
Homophobic Bullying
ifherbumwereabungalow · 28/09/2018 08:20
Reposting here for traffic...
My Yr 8 son has been the victim of two boys who are constantly calling him gay and have been harassing him daily. DS is an awesome boy who has no idea what his sexuality is as he is 12 years old and more interested in playing Fortnite than anything else. He is also a star student and much loved by his teachers. The two boys in question have been picking on him since the start of senior school and he's been handling it beautifully, ready with a witty put down and not afraid to stand his ground but the relentless harassment is really getting him down.
He reported the homophobic bullying to his form tutor who said he would look into it and get in touch with me. He didn't so I ended up going into school and speaking to the deputy head of house.
She rang me later in the day to say that she had spoken to DS and one of the boys involved who told her that he "didn't realise it was upsetting DS". To my mind this is complete bullshit. The other boy was being spoken to by the head of house.
My issue is that this is simply not enough for what is a hate crime. The two boys were calling my son gay with the intention of hurting and insulting him and my son was well aware of this.
I want both boys to be suitably punished for this and am seriously considering reporting the abuse to the police, if only so that they get a stern warning and hopefully a bloody good fright! I feel that they, and others, need to know that there are serious consequences for the use of homophobic language and that it is not considered acceptable in this day and age.
For the record my son knows that there is nothing insulting about being called gay, he'd be more offended if they told he he was boring or stupid.
TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/09/2018 11:06
I have had four kids at high school in two different schools in the sort of grim northern town that a few years ago would have anyone gay jumping on the first train out of there.
In neither of them would this sort of bullying/banter be acceptable either by the staff or the kids. DS's school has some sort of rainbow club and no one bats a eyelid.
So yes, I think your kid's school needs to really up its game.
Flashingbeacon · 28/09/2018 11:32
Definitely think highlighting the school or councils discrimination policy is the way to go. That kind of crap can be stamped out. For the benefit of everyone.
Regarding using your fist to solve a problem, my disabled ds resorted to this when he was pushed face down into the urinal for the 2nd time by 3 boys. Funnily enough it solved nothing but gave them the option of ramping it up because “they were defending” themselves.
If your boy can hold his head high and make it through the day he’ll have learned a valuable life skill.
ifherbumwereabungalow · 28/09/2018 12:06
Thanks for all the positive responses, they've affirmed for me that I am doing the right thing. I'm still waiting to hear back from the school what their action plan is going to be but in the meantime I've been doing some research and am going to offer the compromise of letting the incident go without reporting to the police if they in turn send a staff member to a Stonewall 'Train the Teacher' course which specifically deals with homophobic bullying and how to deal with it, which would then mean they would be accredited as a Schools Champion, which I am sure would look good for their Ofsted report if nothing else. I am also going to suggest that they join in with this year's Anti-Bullying day campaign to be held on 9th November and means that kids come to school wearing something blue. I'm going to offer to buy 100 of the Bullying UK 'ChooseKindness' wristbands and ask for the PTA to match that so they can be sold on. I think it's my best way forward in terms of highlighting the problem and also offering a solution.
For those suggesting he fight his way out of it the closest he has come to a physical interaction so far is that when one of them went to hit him he grabbed their wrist, held it and recited the Liam Neeson speech from 'Taken' at him.
I think he might be stand up comedian in later life.
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