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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To try to retrain in a completely new career at the age of 35?

82 replies

AnnabelTheAntelope · 27/09/2018 22:33

And where the hell do I begin?

Posting here for traffic really.

Backstory is that I have been more or less a sahm for the past four years, (but I do some evening and weekend shifts at a local gastropub). Prior to that, I worked in various admin roles and was fairly good at them and would have no major qualms going back into something like that.

But, as I have found out recently, these jobs are very competitive / oversubscribed in my area. I can’t see me getting anything all that wonderful in this field which I could hang on to. I was made redundant from my last job, (while on Mat leave with dc1); admin seemed to be among the first to go, as we were seen as fairly expendable in the industry I worked in.

Also, as things stand, if I went back to work on my pre dc salary, we wouldn’t be able to cover the costs of childcare, so it doesn’t make sense for me to go back into a weekday / admin role now.

Anyway, now we have a second dc (8mo) and we are due to have some ‘spare’ money soon. Not huge, huge amounts, but more than we’ve ever had all in one go iyswim. We could theoretically use (some of) this for me to retrain. I just don’t want to throw money at anything for me then to find I still can’t find a reasonably secure job at the end of it all.

I should also add, if it’s relevant, that I have a joint honours degree in Political Science and a European language from a very good university, but I haven’t actually used much of it at work yet... and I graduated over ten years ago Blush.

Should I bother, or is it a waste of money, seeing as I can’t go back to full time weekday work till dc2 is at nursery, 2.5 years from now? With Brexit looming and the disruption it may cause, would we be wiser hanging on to our money? I can’t decide if this is the perfect time to train as I have spare time, but can’t go to work, so distance learning would be doable, or if it’s a completely stupid time to retrain and I should just forget it for a few years...

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2018 23:13

Retrain now! You will never regret it. In my opinion, it's the perfect time. I earned a second degree at 44 so it's never too late! Dive right in as quickly as possible!

Original poster
AnnabelTheAntelope · 27/09/2018 23:16

Thanks aqua!

OP posts:
HoleyCoMoley · 27/09/2018 23:18

I changed career at 33, did a 3 year course and never looked back. What would you like to re train as.

bridgetoc · 27/09/2018 23:21

Go for it Annabel. You're 35, not 60.

Mangosmoothie · 27/09/2018 23:22

Not too late at all, you can do anything you want if you can make it work at home and with childcare. I'm about to start the 3rd year of a midwifery degree which I love. I'm 42. I'm a much better learner now and really appreciate the opportunity. I still have 25 years before I retire so well worth it! Good luck 🙂

MadameJosephine · 27/09/2018 23:24

Do it! I retrained as a midwife and qualified at 36 and have no regrets

Sparklyfee · 27/09/2018 23:24

What do you want to do? I could do this, similar situation, but I'm undecided

Agustarella · 27/09/2018 23:26

I'm in a similar position - good degree, no career, SAHM - except I'm six years older than you, and about to start over in a foreign country! No advice for you I'm afraid, but watching with interest. Maybe this is an unfair question since you presumably have a DP whose job is in the UK, but with your European language degree and apparent (well-founded IMO) misgivings about Brexit, have you considered moving abroad? This obviously wouldn't answer your question by itself but it might help to focus you a bit, by seeing what opportunities are available elsewhere.

Boatsnack3 · 27/09/2018 23:29

I'm 35 and have finally decided to go into teaching. Tbh it's what I should have done in the first place several teachers from school to university told me I should be teaching but I didn't have the self belief. My dd is older so I'm doing my higher English just now with a view to doing my pgde next year and be teaching by the time she starts secondary. Good luck with your studies.

mishfish · 27/09/2018 23:31

What would you like to retrain in? I’m sure some wise mumsnetters will be able to advise better. I think it would be worth it though!

PurpleWithRed · 27/09/2018 23:31

As one who bitterly regrets not retraining at 50 - go for it! Now I’m 60 I really am too old for it to be worthwhile, but at 35 you’ve probably got two more careers in you. Do it.

Original poster
AnnabelTheAntelope · 27/09/2018 23:34

I’d like to go into health care. Either nursing or radiography. But I don’t know how this would work around dcs and radiography might be hard for me to fund.

Alternatively, so that I don’t have to do another degree, I’ve thought about either retraining in IT through a conversion masters or possibly doing a trade, like gardening, plumbing or carpentry.

So, as you can see, really quite different to anything I’ve done before!

OP posts:
Agustarella · 27/09/2018 23:35

@Boatsnack3 My mum is a nursery nurse and she wanted to train as a teacher but thought that, in her early 30s, she was too old! She's 66 now and has trouble with the physical side of the job, as she's not supposed to lift anything heavy. Qualifying as a teacher would have been so worth it, but she didn't have the confidence. I don't think that you will regret the PGCE if teaching is what you want to do.

Disquieted1 · 27/09/2018 23:35

I'm sure you'll hear some wonderful success stories but a note of realism is needed. Employers don't generally want a 37 year old without solid experience. Yes you can get a job, though it may be difficult, but a career? That's a different ball game.

Have you considered using any spare money to seedcorn a business? It takes maybe half an hour to set one up online. I don't know what your skills are, but many people have a sellable talent. Language lessons? Baking cakes? Have a think and see if you can employ yourself.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Original poster
AnnabelTheAntelope · 27/09/2018 23:36

augustarella

DH’s job is our main, (more or less sole), income and it is UK based. There’s a chance his company would send us abroad at some point, but no word of it happening yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnnabelTheAntelope · 27/09/2018 23:39

Oh no, I don’t want to be a teacher at all.

Yes, disquieted, this is my worry too! Especially with a trade. I don’t know if anyone would employ a middle aged woman in what is traditionally a young person (man’s?) game.

My language skills are a bit pants now. I wouldn’t feel able to start language classes. I’m quite good at baking, but I don’t think it’s easy to make a profit.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 27/09/2018 23:40

Well you have 32 years until you can draw a state pension so YANBU. I would have some caution re nursing etc due to the extreme pressure on training and early post grad years in conjunction with family life.

You definitely have the potential and opportunity to train for a professional career, choose carefully.

Agustarella · 27/09/2018 23:49

Thanks for your reply OP. FWIW I always regretted going to university instead of learning a trade. I can't say for sure that people would employ a female plumber or plasterer, but then, why not? I see female bus drivers all the time and that would have been unthinkable 25 years ago. Just the other day I saw a woman of thirtyish in painter's overalls, so maybe that's a thing now.

I like this website, which has been endorsed by no less than Mr Money Mustache. It's about starting small businesses from scratch.

www.popupbusinessschool.co.uk

NarcolepticOuchMouse · 28/09/2018 01:11

Go for it! My brother is 35 and found out last week he was successful in getting onto a grad scheme in a new career. You can do it!

FaithInfinity · 28/09/2018 01:22

I’m a nurse. If I’m brutally honest, I wouldn’t recommend nursing in the current climate! But who knows, things might improve. Both nursing and radiography do require night work (certainly during training) and I got little say over what hours I did on placement (it’s actually better when you’ve qualified).

I think if you’re interested, you would benefit from getting some ‘work experience’. Most hospitals have a ‘nurse bank’ you can join where you can pick and chose your hours, they’ll just give you basic training (mine was 3 days) but you could earn and get hands on experience before you look to apply which could be useful. If you can work in A&E or the medical assessment unit you may well get to chaperone patients having radiography too.

I think the only career I would suggest avoiding after 30+ is medicine because it takes so long to get to a point where it starts paying back!

luckycat007 · 28/09/2018 01:24

I'd do this in a heartbeat if u could afford it. Do it.

Aldilogue · 28/09/2018 01:36

Do it!!! It does great things for your confidence. I retrained to be a nurse when I was 40 and love it. I live in Australia though and I believe our working conditions are better than the U.K. from what I read here. Whatever you choose though it's great to do something different. Life is for living they say 😀😀

Spartak · 28/09/2018 01:56

I retrained in a health care profession, I graduated when I was 36, I’m now 41. I’ve had no problem getting a job, I’m just about to start my third role working with adults with learning disabilities. My age has been no barrier at all - in fact for some roles my previous life experience has been an advantage over younger candidates.

ShastaBeast · 28/09/2018 01:57

It’s definitely possible and doesn’t have to be a degree. I’m working through my accountancy exams while working. I did a course at home while a SAHP then started work two years ago aged almost 34. It’s not even expensive - £50 on books or a £100 online course plus £100 exam.

Nightwatch999 · 28/09/2018 01:59

I know a 47 year old woman who retrained as a FireFighter! Go for it OP and good luck!

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