AIBU?
Why do some parents do this?
Grumblepants · 27/09/2018 21:29
If two adults are having a conversation and a third adult was to interrupt unnecessarily, then this would generally be considered rude.
So why do some parents allow their children to interrupt and pander to it.
I have a few friends that do this and it's really bugging me.
I have been talking to friends about serious issues (and some times just general chit chat) and half way through little Timmy (or whoever) runs up and jumps in with "mummy look at me I can clap my hand" and friend then stops mid conversation to me to say "oh well done darling you are so clever, show me again....blah blah blah" . Meanwhile I'm stood there half way though (recent example) "so yes DS was rushed to hospital at the weekend and I honestly thought we were going to lose him because....oh yes I can wait while Timmy shows us clapping.......!".
Why do this? Just tell the child it's sodding rude to interrupt and to wait while you finish your conversation.
Ok rant over. And yes I get that I should just walk away from the conversation, but I just wondered if maybe some people don't actually realise they are doing it.
Aibu in getting really pissed with this or am I missing the other persons side to this?
Di11y · 27/09/2018 21:30
I make my own child wait, and those of close friends who I know won't be offended.
Wearywithteens · 27/09/2018 21:31
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0hCrepe · 27/09/2018 21:31
Because they’re really young and they can often be satisfied with a short exchange and then go off again which is easier than expecting them to wait for ages while the adults finish talking which can go on for hours.
LooksBetterWithAFilter · 27/09/2018 21:32
While I agree it’s rude sometimes it’s wuicker to just get whatever it is the child is saying over and done with than stop every two minutes to shush them or tell them to wait a moment because important conversations aren’t just a moment.
tellmewhenthespaceshiplands · 27/09/2018 21:33
Agree OP - if child is still quite young so 4/5 it's difficult and parents are probably trying to teach the don't interrupt thing. When it's a 10 year old it's just rude. Unless of course it's for an emergency but it never is!
zzzzz · 27/09/2018 21:33
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LoisLittsLover · 27/09/2018 21:34
I think it depends on the chimd's age as to how situations like this are best managed.
Dd is 3 and we are trying to teach her to say excuse me if it's an 'emergency' eg needing a wee right then, or waiting until someone ia finished. But her idea of an emergency or how long she can wait to talk is sometimes vadtly different to an adults, and sometimes it's easier to hear her out to stop her attempts to interupt, and the n talk about appropriate behaviour later when her head isn't so full.
strongswans · 27/09/2018 21:35
I agree with you, with a young one I would do a quick remember you need to wait and not interrupt but that's it
FunSponges · 27/09/2018 21:35
YANBU! So many parents do this and it's soooo rude. I had one friend who would leave you sat alone in her house whilst she buggered off to play with her kids. She couldn't say "no Jacinta, I can't play hide and seek now as I have Fun here so you'll have to amuse yourself for a bit." Her children were sooo annoying as they were utterly incapable of leaving you alone for 5 seconds.
Jamiefraserskilt · 27/09/2018 21:36
I refused to address them until the end of that sentence. They need to learn that it is rude. They need to learn patience pays off. They did.
Here is my ass for burning.
GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 27/09/2018 21:38
How old was the child? You sound quite precious wanting to be heard. If you meet up with friends with kids , this is what happens.
Fair enough if the child is over 7 but younger children are impulsive and do find it hard to wait. Much quicker to answer the child and get on with your conversation
MewithaC · 27/09/2018 21:39
Agree completely. My friend does this with her pre teens constantly. I don't bother trying to tell her anything anymore.
Wearywithteens · 27/09/2018 21:39
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TheBigFatMermaid · 27/09/2018 21:40
When they were little I would, but, well not now and not for a long time. Mine are 12 and 13. They know I would give them a rocket for doing anything more than letting me know they want to talk to me and waiting patiently.
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 27/09/2018 21:41
This!! So annoying!! Almost worse when it's my kid and my friend who cuts off to listen to them not me, like ignore him he's literally talking gibberish and I get it All. Day. Long!!
Wearywithteens · 27/09/2018 21:45
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Grumblepants · 27/09/2018 21:46
Thank you I'm glad it's not just me.
My ds is only 2 so I've not experienced slightly older children who constantly talk, and I see now that maybe letting them interrupt is easier overall.
However I would like to think the adult should judge the tone of the conversation as to weather to permit the interruption.
Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 27/09/2018 21:49
Depends on the age of the child. I am trying to teach my DDs that it’s rude to interrupt but at 3 & 5 it’s sometimes quicker to just say ‘oh yes that’s lovely darling’ than go through the 20 minute whinge session that will happen if I make them wait. Adult conversations are extremely boring for children and tend to go on longer than they can wait. If you want to have a serious conversation with someone who has very young kids it’s best to arrange to meet away from them or when they’re in bed.
LisaSimpsonsbff · 27/09/2018 21:51
If two adults are having a conversation and a third adult was to interrupt unnecessarily, then this would generally be considered rude.
But it would also be considered rude for two adults to talk continuously while a third one was present without including them. So while children shouldn't interrupt, I don't think it's fair to expect them to pretend not to be there, unless they've been given something specific to do to distract them. Realistically, the time for very serious conversations (and I'm sorry that it sounds like something very scary happened with your son) isn't really while one of the people talking is in sole charge of a small child.
HildaZelda · 27/09/2018 21:52
OP, are you from the school of 'children should be seen and not heard'? 
I grew up like this and have massive self esteem and confidence issues as an adult.
HerSymphonyAndSong · 27/09/2018 21:55
I read on here once about for non-urgent things teaching the child to put their hand on a parent (eg on their leg) to tell them they needed to speak to them, and the parent would then put their hand on top as a gesture to mean “I understand and when we reach a point to pause I will talk to you”. I have no idea how effective this is or what age this would suit as my baby is only 4.5mo! Though it hasnt ever bothered me when friends respond to their children mid-conversation - I expect their attention to be partially diverted if the children are around anyway, listening out for them etc
SlowlyShrinking · 27/09/2018 21:55
I hope your ds is ok now, op? That must have been terrifying 
But yes I agree with pps who’ve said it depends on the age of the child, and also that it’s often quicker to let them say what they want to say and run off again. They don’t understand waiting when quite young, and it seems like ages to them. Tbh I wish I’d been a bit kinder to my ds over stuff like this when he was younger. They grow up so quickly.
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