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Would your OH go without you?

10 replies

morecoffeepleas · 27/09/2018 20:48

OH was meant to go to the boxing with his brother and mates in Manchester in November.His brother organised the tickets,mini bus,apartment.So my OH sent him the money and asked who else was going. Turns out it's a couple thing there all bringing there partners but I wasn't invited. AIBU to be fuming OH said he's not going and will get his money back of his brother.

OH is angry and is going to call him, I've told him to just go but he's refusing to. Really don't want to be a drama queen about it all but surely other people's partners would do the same?

OP posts:
LucyInTheParkWithDragons · 27/09/2018 20:52


Do the other partners like boxing, so it's more about the sport than bringing GFs along?

Do the other partners know each other/ the organisers better?

Have you done something to annoy other members of the group?

If I had been unfairly left out. I'd hope my OH would stand up for me. But that's not necessarily the case.

HandbagCrazy · 27/09/2018 20:52

YANBU. Years ago SIL1 tried something similar - arranged a get together, invited couples but clearly invited DH (then DP) on his own. He refused to attend, even when an invitation was begrudgingly extended to me. I think it set the tone for her - she couldn't be rude to me because HE wouldn't stand for it.

I wouldn't get involved if I were you, but I wouldn't encourage your OH to give in for the sake of family either.

LittleMe03 · 27/09/2018 20:54

Have to agree with @LucyInTheParkWithDragons questions

CripsSandwiches · 27/09/2018 20:56

Why weren't you invited? If I had been specifically excluded from a couples event (rather than accidentally forgotten, everyone knew I didn't like boxing etc.) then DH would be furious and refuse to go. If it was a miscommunication and you otherwise get on well then we wouldn't make a drama out of it.

Darkstar4855 · 27/09/2018 20:59

I think it’s really good that he’s taken your side and is standing up for you. That said I would let him go if he wanted to - on the basis that if they don’t want to see me then I have no interest in seeing them either!

morecoffeepleas · 27/09/2018 21:04

I'm not close to them met them a few times since we've been together. His brothers girlfriend texts me now and again though.

I just can't believe it I wouldn't dare leave someone out.what is OH meant to do for a start if there all bringing there partners.

Ive just had DD a few weeks ago so I'm guessing that will be his excuse.

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WingsofNylon · 27/09/2018 21:19

It depends. If I specifically wasn't invited then no, my husband wouldn't be interested in going. If I was not included on the assumption or fact that I wasn't interested in the event then there would be nothing to be user about and he would go. We need you to give more context. How do you know that you are specifically not invited?

artemisdubois · 27/09/2018 21:25

If it's really a couples night out and I'd been deliberately excluded, I'm pretty certain my fiancé wouldn't want to go without me. Even if he didn't give a damn about me being left out, he'd feel a bit silly being the only one there 'alone'.

It seems strange that you'd be left out - is it possible your OH somehow missed that it was a couples thing? Maybe the others assumed he knew.

morecoffeepleas · 27/09/2018 21:53

His brother only mentioned the guys that usually go before him sending the money,they have a group chat everyone is in it the partners also.
OH slept with his brothers fiancé sister before meeting me and she was so hung up on him. He's avoided her ever since and everyone knows that, she is in the WhatsApp group as well.

OP posts:
sirmione16 · 27/09/2018 22:05

Good for your OH for kicking a fuss. I'd politely stay out of it if it were me, it's his decision. I think it's a healthy relationship you two have where he's defending you, and you're insisting he go regardless. It shows respect on both sides. Ultimately it's his decision whether he goes, You've made your very reasonable feelings clear.

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