Aibu to think this is enough for a baby?

[AuntBeastie]

DH and I are considering starting TTC. DH is, however, slightly concerned that we don’t have enough in savings. I think we do, and I would like to get a feel for the savings others made pre-pregnancy!

I would ideally like to take a year of mat leave. My job pays 3 months full salary, 3 months half salary, 15 weeks SMP and then unpaid.

I have 37% of my annual salary in savings to fund what isn’t covered by maternity pay. Is that realistically going to be enough?

DH thinks we should wait until we have nearer 50%. I think we should crack on - it might take years to conceive (and give us plenty of time to save...), and even if it was immediate we would have 9 months of saving. And I think we will spend less on certain things (like going out) so we could put more aside.

Am I being unrealistic?

If u want a baby then have a baby. Life is too short, you will manage! I got made redundant when we were trying and found out I was pregnant two weeks later. I’m now a stay at home mum until my baby starts school. We don’t have loads of money just enough to cover the bills anything extra goes on our little one and we are happy. Money isn’t everything in life.

Work out what you have saved as a percentage of your post-tax salary, minus your travel expenses, as you won't be paying those on mat leave? That might convince him.

I think it sounds fine but it depends on your pay to some extent.
I took a year's maternity leave in total, and it worked out that with SMP and my company's very reasonable maternity policy I was in effect on half-pay for that year. I was very well-paid so it wasn't a struggle.

(Also I agree with the PP who said it can be actually very expensive to go to work! )

Are you the same poster from AIBU yesterday, who said your DH was not ready to start TTC? Op sounds very similar

Not the same poster! I did read that one and do see the similarities. My DH is less concerned that that though - he’s fully ready and keen, just wants a firm grip on the finances first.

Loads of good advice and things I hadn’t thought of - hadn’t even considered the travel costs I would save! And it’s so true that many people manage on much less!

How much do you need to contribute to the household finances to keep things running over your maternity leave? I needed to put in £1000 a month to cover mortgage and other bills. This came out of maternity pay for first few months but had to be savings at the end. Also work out your fun spends too!

Don’t forget that savings of 37% of your salary is probably nearer 50% or more by the time you consider tax and your work related expenses.

Also, just get on with TTC. You never know how long it might take.

We had more than that saved, and we agreed to radically downsize our lifestyle once I fell pregnant (to the point where it was sustained on DH's salary alone).

But .. the killer cost is childcare. If you don't have that to pay for, what you have seems plenty. Babies in themselves cost very little. You can always pick up cheap bundles of clothes (for example) on ebay or local FB groups - and quite often free thing from FreeCycle. Plus friends with older children will generally be happy to pass things on!

I think lots of men worry about this - all the social pressure on men to support their families, etc, even in this day and age. My husband always worried about this too, even though we are both in extremely well-paying jobs by any normal standard. I wondered if it was in part transferring some of the general worry about pregnancy, birth, our lives changing, would he like being a dad, etc, into one specific issue where he felt there was control.

In answer to one part of your post, you will have reduced expenditure in your year at home with the baby. No transport costs to work, lunches at work, smart work clothes, dry cleaning, etc. And you won’t go out in the evenings nearly as much as you do now, and you’ll probably take much more low key holidays. Nice if you’ve got the money to hang out in cafes a bit and pay for some Mum and baby activities, but there is also heaps of free things to do.

There is absolutely never a 100% perfect time to have a baby. We waited a bit as well until we were financially secure and my company went into liquidation just when I went on maternity leave plus I ended up very sick and out of work a lot earlier than planned. We still managed absolutely fine.

Being pregnant ime is really really cheap you feel too knackered and sick to do anything so your savings will go through the roof. I think your finances sound fine.

That’s plenty. I’m on leave now and saved 15% of my salary and it’s going fine. I only get statutory pay. Tbh I’ve hardly spent anything. I live in London and have huge outgoings. Husband is continuing to pays bit more of the mortgage. It is childcare and going back to work that is a real worry for us.

It's about your expenses, not your income and savings. Write up a year's basic bills, add on an amount of costs for the baby (maternity clothes too), then food and spending money for both of you (you'll want to do some baby classes, lunch out with other mums etc), plus £5k spare for emergencies (or whatever amount you both agree feels comfortable). Round up every figure to give you a cushion. Add up your pay and DH's pay across the period and see what you're left with. Discuss what would likely happen if he lost his job, could he easily get another one. Then you can see how much more saving is needed.

Maternity leave, even with a much reduced income, is the easy bit IME.

It’s going back to work and paying childcare is the killer that you need to prepare for. Our childcare bill is half of my monthly salary. But I now have the additional travel costs and everything else that comes with subsiding a work-life balance.

We’re much worse off at the moment (youngest dc is 16 months) than we were on maternity leave!

If you are planners (which it sounds like it from what you’ve said about your DH) then the only way he’s likely to be reassured is by seeing the numbers in black and white. My husband was like this. What we ended up having was two spreadsheets. One with all likely additional expenditure (e.g the big stuff like buggies but also other things like antenatal classes, clothes, maternity clothes, baby classes etc). We also had a detailed cash flow plan for mat leave plus first year of childcare. After we worked out costs, we were actually fine on mat leave because I wasn’t paying commuting costs and our lifestyle changed a lot. Last time round we lived on my husband salary and mat pay went into savings (and started living like that once I was pregnant). This time round, we’ll need my mat pay to live on and we’ll need to save money early on to cover later periods when I move to nothing. I feel a lot happier knowing what I can and can’t spend and seeing we have a realistic plan.

Remember that lots of baby stuff gets used for only a few months before your baby will develop and move on. So things like baby play mats and bouncy chairs can easily be picked up secondhand with very little use. Friends or NCT Nearly New sales (and others) can be a great source of bigger equipment for the fraction of the price.

I found eating at home for lunch made things cheaper than buying a Boots lunch every day at work. Also, I was cooking evening meals for us, rather than us relying heavily on quicker convenience foods which cost more. Basically we spent quite a bit less with me at home.

I think you will be fine as long as you don’t go mad buying expensive baby things you will never use. They don’t need £1k prams you can get ones just as good for £200. The best pram I have ever bought was £80 in Smyths sale given my first was one £500 6.5 years ago it was an eye opener. The only thing I made sure I spent a lot on was a car seat and base. I never scrimp on them for safety reasons. Visit mums markets you can get virtually unused clothes and equipment for pennies. Also someone else said it earlier but working costs. I spend much less when I don’t work as I can meal plan, take walks rather than drive, spend time buying from cheaper shops, met friends at there houses or mine and have lunch at home. I would say go for it now and try cut back as much as you can just now.

What’s surprised me most the first year after having a baby was how little we spent! We still managed to overpay our mortgage. You won’t be going as much (hardly ever) and you will have bought most baby stuff!

You will have the child benefit.

I found that When you are at home You can make savings in cooking more economical meals than when dashing in from work. Spent less going out.

However, our bills went up, needing the heating in all day, try and be off work April-Oct for the bulk of your ML, rather than Nov-March. Better for getting out and about with the baby, too.

Breastfeed. Saved us a fortune.

You will need less money on maternity leave, assuming you don't spend £££ on coffees, lunches and baby crap. A few tips from my last year on maternity leave:

• Make homemade picnics for the summer months, and in the winter try to reduce your opportunities for lunches out and get coffee shop loyalty cards.
• Also check if you can get free coffees / teas through loyalty schemes like your mobile phone provider or the my John Lewis club (free to join, 3 free hot drink and cake vouchers a year).
• if you can afford it, consider memberships for your leisure activities. My local leisure centre gives women on maternity leave a membership card for £10 which reduces the cost of swimming, gym etc sessions for a year. I can go swimming for £2.10! I also have a Tate membership card as wandering around an exhibition whilst the little one naps is something I enjoy.

-You can cook from scratch and spend time shopping around for the best deals and offers in supermarkets.

• learn how to use your freezer and cut down on waste. For example freeze pesto into ice cube trays so it doesn't go mouldy in the fridge. Lemon juice and unused stock can also be frozen.
• You won't spend loads of money going out in the evening regularly.
• Do your KIT days if you can towards the end and get paid for them.
• walk as much as you can - great for losing the baby weight - instead of taking public transport, and if you need to take the train make sure you do it off peak.
• if you can afford it and your workplace permits, start saving for childcare whilst on maternity leave through tax free childcare to maximize your tax savings.
• Join your local Facebook group and pick up baby stuff secondhand - so much cheaper than eBay.
• If you can afford the upfront cost, buy cloth nappies and wipes and you will save, especially if you want more than one child (plus much better for the environment!).
• Some baby classes are very expensive so look at alternatives like free classes at the children's centres, or instead of paying for an expensive art and craft afternoon club together with some other friends with babies and make stuff at one of their homes (we decorated mugs with baby footprints and handprints and it was probably less than £5 each for 2 mugs, which we gave as mother's Day presents to the grandmothers, and was a whole afternoon of entertainment for us).
• Use cashback sites when shopping online and then convert the cashback into vouchers that you can use to spend on baby stuff.

Get on with TTC, there's never a 'good' time to have a baby, and it sounds as if you''' have more than most on maternity! You can spend as much or as little on a baby and kids as you want or your budget allows.