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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you about presents - help!!

25 replies

partypresent · 27/09/2018 11:21

DS started nursery recently and we are now facing the first batch of parties (they are 2-3).

Rather than buy plastic toys/cars/dolls, I was thinking of buying the birthday children something like one of these hardbacks to read and keep when older:

www.waterstones.com/books/search/term/grimm%27s

I know they won’t be excited now, but hopefully they’ll like it one day! Would that be a nice present? Or would I be that mum who buys all the kids something they hate?

I have a bit of social anxiety and a strong tendency to overthink things and second guess myself, and I don’t want to make things harder for DS as he gets older! Thank you.

OP posts:

Medea13 · 27/09/2018 11:26

If someone brought an age innapropriate gift for my child, however "naice" it was, i would assume it was a regift. Also if everybody did this, the child would be effectively giftless on the day, just a load off (tbh) showoff shit they can't use that will clutter up the home for ages before becoming (maybe) useful.

AjasLipstick · 27/09/2018 11:26

I think a lot of parents are a bit wimpy about Grimms owing to the bloodthirsty and scary nature of some of them.

It seems a tad worthy and also I would assume a lot of children already have classics in their bookshelf.

I have found that most people appreciate craft items...not the nasty packs full of stickers and bad paint, but things like good quality colouring pencils and a nice quality drawing or colouring book. A nice pencil case too.

GlossyGlossy · 27/09/2018 11:31

Books are a lovely gift - but I'd go with something age appropriate that they can enjoy now.

Or as a PP said, craft items and colouring pencils, maybe some biscuit cutters and colourful icing tubes? Things that will be used up and not just chucked in a box to gather dust.

DunesOfSand · 27/09/2018 11:33

Age appropriate books, go for it. But aged 2-3, I think not Grimms fairy tales.

RB68 · 27/09/2018 11:34

yeah just get a "thats not my ...." type book and leave it at that

DunesOfSand · 27/09/2018 11:35

The other thing mine loved as presents were character pyjamas - decent ones. So not a 3 pack of PJs from ASDA, but £10 pair of (e.g.) Peppa pig pjs from Marks.

HolesinTheSoles · 27/09/2018 11:35

I think books are nice. Honestly after a party the child will have such a huge pile of toys (many of which will hardly be played with) I'm sure the parents will appreciate a nice book.

RE Grimms in particular - I'd be fine with it, others wouldn't so maybe not a safe choice.

LotsToThinkOf · 27/09/2018 11:36

It's a lovely idea but tbh I'd go with the cheap plastic tat they'd be excited to open on the day.

Basically, all the plastic tat my DC get for birthdays and xmas go in a big bag upstairs and is regifted for the next party. Everyone I know does this. I'd just stick with that idea.

Poodles1980 · 27/09/2018 11:37

We have fiver parties. Five euro in the card and the child can then pick one decent present themselves after the party. But for this instance I wouldn’t buy something that can’t be used now. I would get some hair clips, stickers or one of those collectible doll surprise things or a small LEGO or playmobile set. For a boy I would do similar without the hair clips. Sticker books are always good at that age.

Original poster

partypresent · 27/09/2018 11:43

Thanks all, I knew I was right to ask!!

It never occurred to me people would think it was a regift. I did worry that they might think i’d been given a batch or stolen them from Waterstones though!

I like the idea of craft stuff and stickers in a nice pencil case, I think I will go with that. Thank you

OP posts:

Paddington68 · 27/09/2018 12:52

I think it is a lovely idea OP. The world has enough plastic crap and not enough imagination.

ribblerobble · 27/09/2018 13:04

Would have gone down OK here but not all kids like reading/listening. I went with little card games this year.

Drummingisfun · 27/09/2018 13:10

Or get a batch of books in a cheap bundle from the book people eg Julia Donaldson then split them up with a couple for each gift.

LaDameAuxLicornes · 27/09/2018 13:10

Lovely idea, but I'd save the complete Grimm for when the children are a little bit older and get something they can read (or have read to them) now, rather than later.

If you like the fairy tales idea, why not get them a beautiful hardback edition of a single fairy tale (e.g. Cinderella) with really stunning illustrations? Little children like pictures when they're being read to, and it could be a lovely way into the genre. You can always get a little bag of chocolates or a small sparkly thing to go with it if you want to combine the "keepsake" idea with something that the child will be instantly pleased by on the day. Though it could get a bit expensive if this is for nursery parties rather than nieces and nephews or similar!

LadyOdd · 27/09/2018 13:21

Paint pens and something to draw on, my mum bought a huge batch and gave them out to every party I went to. (Although just normal pens but I find that paint pens are great) I think crayola do some.

Or go to tiger they have little things some for kids a lot of it is cheap but cool.

PedunculatedPolp · 27/09/2018 13:33

I would go for an orchard game either Ladybird, Shopping List or Shape Snap.

HildaZelda · 27/09/2018 13:41

I actually think it's a lovely idea OP. Anything that encourages reading is always good.

When I was a kid my parents had no interest in books and if it hadn't been for my aunt, I'd never have got any.
She was a great reader herself and started me off with Enid Blyton, moving up to Judy Blume, Sweet Valley and Babysitters Club, then by the time I was about 13, I was borrowing her Rosamunde Pilcher's and Elvi Rhodes.

I still love reading today.

I would definitely go with the books. They're something they'll always have. A lot of the plastic tat will be broken and binned by next birthday.

NerrSnerr · 27/09/2018 13:49

I would get something age appropriate. Play doh is always a hit. Things like garden toys, outside chalk, craft sets and puzzles have gone down well with my daughter.

EssentialHummus · 27/09/2018 14:00

I hear you OP - I got hugely overstressed by what/how much etc to buy for friends with little ones, and DD is only just one so I have literally decades of this ahead, too. I'm not a fan of giving or receiving plastic stuff unless I know it's wanted, so I ended up with Julia Donaldson books, nice pyjamas from Gap, or That's not my... books. Maybe next year a bit of Duplo if I know the kids in question enjoy it.

I didn't do birthday cards - because a £1 card multiplied across all the parties when the recipient can't read them and the parent will likely chuck them didn't really feel needed/wanted. I got little stickers made with "Happy birthday! Lots of love from LittleHummus xx" and put one on each gift.

tequilasunset · 27/09/2018 14:08

Books are a wonderful gift to receive at any age. However, i would make the book age appropriate.

CripsSandwiches · 27/09/2018 23:12

Books are a lovely gift but get something they'll enjoy now. By the time they've grown into Grimm the book will have been shoved in an attic somewhere and forgotten about. There are lots of lovely her back pop up books that toddlers would love. Or as PP suggested Book people bundle (Dr Seuss or Mr men for example!) then give one book out at a time maybe accompanied by a small wooden toy or craft item (my DD loved getting a jacob's ladder one year).

llangennith · 27/09/2018 23:16

How about a book with accompanying CD?
Winnie the Witch
The Tiger Who Came to Tea

halcyondays · 27/09/2018 23:17

Just get a book they can read now, plenty of lovely books for that age. a 2/3 year old isn't going to open a present and think, well that'll be nice for me in a couple of years.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 27/09/2018 23:19

Otvhard toys do some brilliant games for 3 year olds. The rocket game for example or the shopping list game. My kids loved them at that age. You can get them for about £7/8 online I think. Its not plastic tat but it's fun to open.

AjasLipstick · 01/10/2018 06:32

Llan we don't even have a CD player any more. A lot of people don't. They're kind of old-fashioned these days.

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