To think I officially have health anxiety? Bruised my armpit with prodding and poking.

[broad]

Sometimes I struggle to accept that I am a healthy 35 year old woman. It's sometimes like I am convinced there is a disease inside me and I just need to find it. Cancer is a big stress for me, even just saying or writing the word makes me feel anxious. I read about a 40yr old Mum who found a lump on her armpit and later died of breast cancer. I became convinced my armpit was hurting, despite me rationally knowing this was a reaction to seeing the story about the poor woman, I poked and prodded to try and find a lump, I poked and prodded until I was in pain. I couldn't find anything but I was now in agony. This almost helped as it made me see how ridiculous I was being.

This has really taken me by surprise, I've never been an anxious person. Since having kids I'm so aware of my own mortality, the idea of leaving them behind makes me feel so panicky. Before I had kids I didn't want to die but I never felt like there were people who NEEDED me to be alive. Not like now.

I hope this is not offensive to people who have suffered from cancer or know people who have suffered from the horrible disease. I'm not sure what I can do to get me through these bouts of anxiety. How do I tread the line of being vigilant about my health and becoming obsessive?

Again, I hope this isn't offensive.

Anxiety is horrific to live with at times
Have you ever sought any support to deal with it? There are tools you can use to make it more manageable.
I'd suggest starting with your GP with a view to accessing talking therapies and possibly CBT.
I wish you well

Your best bet might be to go and speak to your health care provider. Health anxiety is definitely a thing. Your provider may be able to not only ease your fears but help you to decrease your anxiety, through medication and/or a referral to a licensed therapist.

If the health anxiety is a recent thing, it could also be helpful to have a complete checkup. Not only would this allay your fears but it could also help to determine if there's a physiological cause of your anxiety (for example, hyperthyroidism).

For the record: my father and sister have had cancer and as a nurse I've taken care of many cancer patients. I don't find your concerns offensive. Many people suffer from health anxiety and I don't think it diminishes the experience of people with physical illnesses. Psychiatric illness is just as real and can be just as disabling as physical illness.