I have eaten a stupendously hot spicy dhal. Will I survive?

[AbsentmindedWoman]

It was so good but SO HOT I love spicy food but I clumsily let half the jar of cayenne pepper fall into the pot, and didn't think it would be too bad.

It was very hot indeed. My mouth is still on fire.

I'm gonna make it right?

I've not experienced any painful butt side effects before either, but do think this was the hottest thing I've ever made.

Have had kefir and a couple of Tunnock's tea cakes for medicinal purposes and my mouth has now returned to normal!

Wet wipes in the fridge.

Pray that it comes out solid.

And before you go to work.

I also eat spicy food daily for decades and have no trouble. I'd be fine but it sounds like some folks have gentler constitutions!

I can't even eat salt and pepper chicken wings without getting a bumhole like the Japanese flag

I find a banana helps reduce the burn (eating it)

Nivea aftersun is good for all sorts of burning feelings, in all sorts of places.... Can be spread on loo roll.....

I eat a phall most Friday nights, and I can confirm it is most definitely A Thing.

(The ring of fire, I’m talking about)

I once ate a whole jar of pepper/chillis type things on holiday in Gran Canaria. Coupled with a few pints of San Miguel, I was sobbing buckets and screaming as I sat on the loo for most of the next day. I have never eaten anything similar since....and still have flashbacks... 💩

Is this really a thing? Burning at The Other End?

It's never happened to me and I use Ghost chillies and Carolina Reapers in my curries.

Are you dead yet?!

I’ve never had a spicy bum before, I must be immune system.

Eat some yoghurt. I eat very spicy food most of the time and if it ever gets too much, yoghurt helps to balance it.

DYAC! I mean I must be immune!

Pop a loo roll in the freezer.... you'll survive!

Put a packet of anusol pessaries in the fridge.
Use one before you poo.
You're welcome.

Still alive OP?

I don't get the burning at the other end thing. I eat very spicy food multiple times a week and have for years, since being pregnant I crave chillis especially, but no adverse after effects at all. Fingers crossed for you OP

Chicken Tikka Masala is as hot as I can take.

I once ate a whole jar of pepper/chillis type things on holiday in Gran Canaria. Coupled with a few pints of San Miguel, I was sobbing buckets and screaming as I sat on the loo for most of the next day.

See?! Perhaps it's a pickled pepper thing.

I certainly don't have a gentle constitution. I eat fresh naga chilis and have eaten things that have literally incapacitated my DH

The pickled peppers though. I won't ever forget.

@MadameGerbil I love that you specified that

Pop some flushable wet wipes in the fridge. Good luck!

Please don’t flush wipes down the loo.

All is well today, I have not experienced anything disagreeable

I don't have wet toilet wipes, and absolutely would never flush 'em down the loo if I did.

All is well today, I have not experienced anything disagreeable

Yet.
Without wanting to sound scary.