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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bus driver taking off, baby in a sling

63 replies

IABURQO · 26/09/2018 19:10

Many times now when I have the baby in a sling, the bus driver has driven off before I have any chance of sitting down. Usually there are free seats, so I'm not taking time even by waiting for someone to get up. One yesterday started driving away as I touched the card on the reader, not for the first time. It isn't the same driver, nor even the same bus; quite a few will wait but an equal number don't. AIBU when I shout to ask them to wait as I have a baby in a sling? Should I assume they'll take off and ask them to wait for me to sit before I touch the card? It feels so dangerous for the baby when the bus is rocking around and other passengers wobbling about; is it just me that worries because I have tendonitis and I can't rely as much on holding on, so I should be explaining that to the driver instead of assuming they'll realise a baby is vulnerable? What do other people do?

OP posts:
Original poster
IABURQO · 26/09/2018 20:00

@LittleBookofCalm - I do use the pushchair too. But sometimes a) I'm getting the train on the route and won't have step-free access, or b) a particular destination has several wheelchair users so there's a high chance of having to get off the bus if I have the pushchair as I can't safely hold it and the the baby, or c) the baby won't settle so he's in the sling and I have a useless pushchair. I think the pushchair is generally safest (if the bus isn't too crowded) and I feel that he's safer in a sling on my front than just in my arms, but I don't feel he's safe with me standing up.

@nocutsnobuttsnococonuts - that's horrible, he should have just made sure you got a seat to be safe. You have to wonder what he actually thought he was achieving there, apart from upsetting you (or maybe that was his goal).

OP posts:
MyHusbandSaysIHave1000MNNames · 26/09/2018 20:06

I had a bus driver do that for the first time this week, it shocked me. It's just so irresponsible and thoughtless. I had to rush into a seat so fast that I accidentally tapped the man next to me with my changing backpack as I sat down. I apologised but he just looked annoyed and didn't say anything.

Everyoneiswingingit · 26/09/2018 20:08

I notice this. I was recently on park and ride in Oxford, 2 elderly people got on and the driver drove straight off as they had just got on. They had to grab the bars to stay upright. I told him so when I got off and he gave me some rubbish about timetables. Safety is the priority surely!

NoLightInTheTunnel · 26/09/2018 20:13

I saw this a couple of months ago Sad. An elderly lady with a walking stick got on the bus, and before she'd taken more than two steps the drive sped off. Poor lady almost went flying to the back of the bus. She wasn't seriously injured, and I was going to report the driver, but never got around to it.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 26/09/2018 20:19

I'm fearful every time I see someone with a baby in a sling, the risk to the baby if the parent trips is immense

Are you fearful everytime you see a parent carrying their baby? Surely it's pretty much the same thing, minus the risk of dropping the baby?

Comeymemo · 26/09/2018 20:20

Hmm. I live in Asia where buses have no shock absorbers and the local language has a saying that bus drivers have ‘accordion feet’ - they constantly break and start brutally. London buses are like riding a limo by comparison.

Everybody here uses slings. Pushchairs are very rarely used. I probably see 100 or more slings for each pushchair I cross. Baby car seats are not even compulsory.

And despite all this, we’ve got the longest life expectancy in the world. So I guess the risk of injury is actually quite small.

Perhaps you need to recalibrate how you perceive the risk?

Original poster
IABURQO · 26/09/2018 20:21

Clearly the same disregard for safety with elderly passengers then. At least in London TFL should be able to set a behavioural code of conduct or something to say e.g. "all elderly, physically disabled and children under (8?) should be seated safely before taking off" - who have I forgotten from vulnerable groups?

I've looked up and weirdly it's "London General Transport Services Ltd" in each case for me, are they particularly bad or is it all bus companies? I remember various ones being crap when I was pregnant, but my brain seems to have erased the bus numbers from my memory (possibly in favour of learning 12 different ways to wind a baby).

OP posts:
Biancadelriosback · 26/09/2018 20:25

Okay so I'm up north and I can honestly say that the bus drivers up here are different. At least round mind! They've always waited until I was sat comfortably!
Is it possible they can't see your baby? Some wraps, especially if worn with a long coat, hide baby quite well, even more so if driver is hidden behind his little door and not really paying attention.

Original poster
IABURQO · 26/09/2018 20:27

@Comeymemo - I was thinking of injury rather than death, but ok. I accept some of it might be my anxiety, but not that a sling on a bus is risk free based on general life expectancy.

OP posts:
Judashascomeintosomemoney · 26/09/2018 20:33

would the bus companies care?
Check the relevant bus company’s conditions of carriage on their website. If it covers this kind of eventuality then quote it and tweet it to them. They will care and might even do something about it. I did exactly this regarding overcrowding and dangerous practices on a school service to the city where I live. It made the local papers and the bus company sent representatives down to the school every day for a couple of weeks to ensure the drivers were doing what they were supposed to be.

GloriousGoosebumps · 26/09/2018 20:37

You should report the driver(s), someone is going to get hurt.
Interestingly, at the end of last year / early this year London buses started playing a pre-recorded message telling passengers to hold on because the bus was about to move. TFL got a lot of flack because the message was playing AFTER the buses had started to move, so pretty useless! In fact there was so much adverse publicity that they stopped playing the message. I did wonder if they'd been on the wrong end of a lawsuit.

oblada · 26/09/2018 20:40

You probably need to say something. Personally I've always taken my kids in baby carriers everywhere and I actually find it more comfortable to stay when I'm in the bus/underground. But I don't have any health condition. Ive never felt baby was at risk in a sling/carrier, quite the opposite actually because they're close and I've got control.

LaurieMarlow · 26/09/2018 20:43

Yh i wouldnt dream of asking for a seat

Why wouldn't you dream of asking for a seat? The priority seats are for people like you.

DaffoDeffo · 26/09/2018 20:45

When I was on crutches I used to say to the driver as I tapped in, please wait till I've sat down and they always did

You need to ask - I know you may think they should do it anyway - but it doesn't hurt to ask :)

StoneofDestiny · 26/09/2018 20:48

lisasimpson
It’s more when I see front sling carriers and the parent carrying shopping bags in their hands. It’s a risk - just my view

eggstoast · 26/09/2018 20:53

I have had to use the bus a few times of late and I find bus drivers are absolute idiots for doing this. I’m fit and healthy and even I struggle to make my way safely to seat because of bus drivers doing this, even when I’m clinging onto a a hand rail. God only knows how the elderly and people with reduced mobility cope.
I don’t if it’s because they’re just under a lot of pressure to get to destinations on time - although busses are never on time near me, or they’re just dicks.

Creeper8 · 26/09/2018 21:16

Why wouldn't you dream of asking for a seat? The priority seats are for people like you.

Im quite shy so wouldnt announce to a bus full of people that I would like a seat. I also wouldnt want to single anyone out and ask someone directly. I witnessed an elderly lady do this once and she got a mouth full of abuse because the woman said she had just had a csection and needed the seat but she was ranting at her then started telling whoever she was on the phone to about it.

wrenika · 26/09/2018 21:19

YABU, we don't want to have to wait for everyone to get their arses into a seat.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 26/09/2018 21:25

For the people suggesting prams - thats not always safer or possible. Where we live in London. I'll often be taking g a bus and then a tube, it's safer to have a baby in asking than singlehandedly carry a pram up and down stairs - or even on just us trips, often the buggy areas are full, and I'd have to wait a couple of buses.
They're very safe too - surely no more risk of tripping than of a buggy tipping or someone letting go of a handle.

Cookit · 26/09/2018 21:44

A lot of babies hate prams though, mine always did. A pram is not necessarily an option for a lot of people.

Justgivemeasoddingname · 26/09/2018 22:00

I love to give out a loud yelp when trying to draw attention to what someone is doing which is wrong. It should shame them in to realising what they're doing wrong.
Failing that, are you allowed on with a large open topped cup of liquid? Might they be a bit more careful thinking they will avoid a spillage? Just being a bit catty here but I've got really bad PMT Wink

MilkyTea20 · 26/09/2018 22:19

YABVU IMO

Buses have to keep to a strict timetable or the whole system will simply not work. And besides that, passengers all over the network will be inconvenienced.

Whether a bus is on time for its next stop or not cannot depend on whether someone with a baby gets on earlier. You and your PFB don't get to make hundreds of other people late for where they need to be.

JLG19 · 27/09/2018 13:27

Whether a bus is on time for its next stop or not cannot depend on whether someone with a baby gets on earlier

Bus timetables should allow to me at each stop for passengers to alight and board safely.

JLG19 · 27/09/2018 13:27

Ffs, new phone!! Allow time at each stop

PorkFlute · 27/09/2018 13:28

Yes if there’s been bad traffic then you shouldn’t be trying to make up lost time by playing pinball with pensioners!