To be unsure how to manage this situation at work

[lally17]

I recently started a new job, and I am managing a small team of people. To help with transition, I am sharing a role.

We also have some people who work for us in a voluntary capacity and one of them is the adult daughter of one of the department.

I am finding it very difficult to work with her. She repeatedly tries to take charge, tell people their jobs, contradicts and undermines.

I think people are reluctant to say anything because of her Mum - who has worked there a long time.

How would you approach this?

I'd start by talking to the person who you are sharing the role with. Presumably they have been there a while and know how things work.

Failing that I would talk to your line manager and ask what authority volunteers have.

Is it one of those situations where the bossy one thinks they are in charge - but everyone else around them just ignores them and gets on with what they were doing anyway?

Pretty much, Fan

It’s a combination of - she’s a volunteer, she is the dd of someone respected in the organisation and also a lot of the time it is very hard to explain what is wrong. So for example she came to my office this morning to tell me ‘You need to be in a meeting’ with the air of someone who is by far my superior when it is in fact the other way around.

"You need to be in a meeting"

"Why thank you for bringing that message to me"

Be unfailingly polite, thank her for giving her time freely! Volunteers really are the lifeblood aren't they?

Alternatively, set out your stall right now! If she undermines or contradicts just say so "No, that is incorrect!"

Remember, much as you don't know how the dept works, they don't know you either, they be praying for a strong new broom!

Her Mum is possibly guilty of telling her lots of things volunteers wouldn't ordinarily be privy to which has given her a misplaced sense of importance - if you are new she probably thinks she knows better.

Killing her with kindness is probably the way to go.

Well yes, I am curious ... but still, the way she throws her weight around is not on. Of course I am polite but it doesn’t mean it is acceptable to order me around as if she was the director.

Give it a bit of time. I think you're a bit sensitive as you are new.

Well, if polite just encourages her, stand on your job description.

But you have to decide who you are in this role, she is just doing what she has always done. You don't have that track record there, so you can change how you allow her to talk to you.

Tiresome and scary as that is!

She isn’t “just doing what she has always done”, she started at the same time as me

What’s the hierarchy here? Presumably you are senior to her but who manages her?

Is she like it with everyone or primarily you? Is there a chance that she feels that the role you now have should have gone to her?