To think this isn't good enough

[HappyHippy45]

Semi light hearted.
DH has been doing mine and his laundry for a few years now. Firstly when we were running a business together and I stamped my feet to get him to share the household workload more evenly and then since I became disabled and wasn't able to work or do housework.
Should he not be able to do this task correctly by now?
There is a wardrobe full of our clothes inside out and higgledy piggledy.
I'm slowly recovering from a relapse of MS and am able to help out more but I am loathe to use my precious energy sorting it out.
It's making me very twitchy seeing his clothes in this state.
Why can't he just do it properly?

My DS does this.

he's 12.

Even HE knows he's being lazy when he does it and re-does it every time when i bollock gently remind him

My 7 year old can hang clothes up better than that.

I know it's not the biggest deal ever but ffs what is wrong with men (and I do say men as the majority of women wouldn't hang it up like that). If DH hangs up the washing, it's not all unfolded properly or shaken out so sleeves etc don't dry properly. His folding is appalling, nothing lined up, half the stuff will be inside out etc. All half wrinkled. If (and it's a big if) he puts DCs clothes away, some will always go in the wrong place. Really fucking annoying that I have to rehang stuff, always refold everything (except his, I don't care) and hunt for DCs stuff that's been put in the wrong place. It's not bloody rocket science.

I'm actually relieved to hear that there are others out there who's DP/DH seem incapable of hanging clothes. I thought it was just mine doing it on purpose to irritate me

They're his clothes, he'll iron them before wearing anyway and I would imagine with you being unable to help with physical things (understandably so) he's got quite a lot on and probably doesn't worry about how things are hung to dry

Mine is responsible for the laundry and the cleaning. I work, he doesn't ergo. he does housework. It is only a recent thing that I have insisted (to be honest with threats of divorce) that he does it and does it properly despite the fact that the no-work situation has gone on for 9 long years. I think he'd still hang like that. He certainly seems totally incapable of folding properly. I have a feeling it will be the death of marriage within the next 6 months. I see that and I think "do you care so little that this is the best you could bother to do". Then I get all hot and ragey!

I'd say chill about about it. If he wants to keep his clothes in a state then it's his lookout. I stopped ironing DH's shirts because he wouldn't sort out his wardrobe so they would hang straight. A lot of the time he has his clothes and shoes piled up at the side of the bed. I do moan about it if I am tripping over his shoes in the middle of the night.

@MrsStrowman

No one irons in our house. Haven't done for many years.
Dh hangs them like this and then wears them regardless of how they look. Curly collars is his look.
He's always hung clothes like this.
He'd be forgiven if it was a recent thing due to me not contributing as much as I used to.

Fumming on your behalf OP. My DH does this, it would take an extra two seconds to do it properly and does he utilise that extra two seconds, annual total around 10 minutes, and yes I have worked it it, to do something useful? Well, no he doesn't.

Um, so I can't actually see what's wrong?

(which I guess answers your question)

@RedSkyatNight

In the words of John McEnroe, "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!"

You must be one of "them" that abuses clothes.

DS has an entire wardrobe of inside out clothes: inside out trousers with superman pants attached, completely inside out shirts, tops with both arms inside out, inside out trousers with socks inside - I just take stuff out of the washing machine and hang it up best I can. Rearranging it just because he can't be arsed to put it in the washing machine the right way round is not my problem. I'm not delving into his dirty clothes and it makes my teeth itch doing it to wet clothes so this is the compromise I have reached with myself. It's every single item of clothes he wears. And he's not my only child. DD favours one leg/arm in, one leg/arm out.

If my DH criticised how I'd done his laundry I'd be pretty scathing about it to be honest!

If it's your clothes then of course you can ask him to do it properly if they're ending up too crumpled to wear or something, but if I was unable to do anything around the house I think I'd just be grateful for a partner doing it all instead.

If I were him and you said 'it's just not good enough' I'd feel really pissed off and patronised.

Urgh. I have had to train my DH out of this utterly deplorable habit and every few months he suffers a relapse.

It disgusts me frankly. That isn't how he completes tasks at work so why the shit does he do it to his own work clothes!

@MyKingdomforBrie

He mansplains how to do laundry to me.
He has been responsible for doing our laundry since well before I got ill. This is his default standard.
I don't tell him off about it. I don't even take the piss out of him about it anymore. I've accepted this is my lot and came on here to have a wee vent.

I'm also grateful for the majority of things he does.
I don't however see why I should be grateful for all the half arsed stuff he does when he's being lazy.
His laziness is only apparent when it comes to household chores. Always has been.

My OH shrunk my clothes for years before I gave up and started doing all the washing. He is an evil genius

@AGirlinLondon
My DH started washing EVERYTHING on a 60c wash recently. He shrank all my new clothes I'd gotten for my birthday. Something to do with getting stains out of HIS shirts.
Fortunately it has coincided with me recovering enough to do a couple of loads of laundry a week. Hopefully my clothes will be safe from now on.......and he's happy I can do more to help now.

What rages me is when I've cleaned and put away ohs clothes all neatly, they look like this the next day!!

Feeling your frustration with the MS relapse housework problems op. When I have one I sit down feeling very fed up staring at the rubbish building up all over the place..

Last time I relapsed I burst into tears when I realised dh had brought his friend home for a drink and the house was messy. Now we get a cleaner sometimes if I’m really bad.

Sorry OP, I see how my message came across wrong. It was meant to be more that I find it frustrating that I can’t moan rather that implying that you do!

Well mainsplaning would have him killed so on that basis YANBU at all!!

Of course you shouldn't have to be grateful for laziness I guess I just know how I'd feel if I was criticised for the way I hung my own clothes after I'd washed them, however stupidly I'd done it. My dh's lazy approach to household stuff drives me absolutely nuts though so in reality - I feel your pain and you're entirely right!

Oh and I hope he replaced everything he shrank, if not he needs to.