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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re everyone staying here

36 replies

Sonarbe · 26/09/2018 11:15

I don’t think I am but I’ve been made to feel as though I am.

Dp’s friend is arranging mutual friend’s birthday celebration. I got a message saying that they were thinking of going out in our home town so could they start off at our house. (Majority of invitees live in next town)

I replied saying yes of course as it would mean I could join in before they all went out. DP will be going out but I won’t as will be 37 weeks pregnant and I’ve got hyperemesis, so still feeling shit although actual vomiting is controlled by medication.

I then received a fb invitation to the event, saying that it was going to start and end at our house. Said to dp “hang on, that’s not what I was asked, I don’t really want everyone coming back here after they’ve all been out”. He said “yeah that’s not going to happen” and got straight onto his friend to ask him to change it. Friend said he thought they could all stay at our house. DP and I agree we don’t mind friend and his partner and birthday friend staying over but not everyone that has been invited out. Friend asked well what about everyone else that’s not from your town?

DP pointed out that we only have one spare room and our children will also be here. We’re happy to get them to share a room for the night so our friends can have a room, but I don’t want to pile them all in our room so that friends of friends can stay. Nor do I want people all over the sitting room when I’m going to be getting up early with the toddler.

Friend thinks we should get the children to stay elsewhere for the night. This involves me driving an hour each way to take them to my mums. I don’t want to do this.

Friend got a bit annoyed and said that dp has stayed at their house loads of times when they’ve been out. I think this is irrelevant as we have said we are happy for those friends to stay, just not everyone.

So AIBU?

OP posts:

Snowymountainsalways · 26/09/2018 12:14

Not a chance in hell.

Notonthestairs · 26/09/2018 12:15

If they stay over then they will be up at 3am giggling and watching bits of Top Gun and 80's music on YouTube. I know because we did this last weekend (buts it's our house so it didn't matter although DH did ask us to keep to stop singing.)

They can start the evening at yours but that's it.

starfishmummy · 26/09/2018 12:23

So if anyone does stay over in spite of you saying no then the kids need to be coached to be up and very very noisy from about 5am...

Skittlesandbeer · 26/09/2018 12:24

Make sure you post your -very clear- reply publicly. curiousaboutsamphire suggested great wording. Spot on.

I’d personally add- ‘sorry brian, thought you were organising x’s birthday bash? Sounds like you just outsourced it to dh & our family? Not the done thing, mate.’

Thatstheendofmytether · 26/09/2018 12:32

Ok, if people really want to stay they can. I’m not kicking the kids out of their own bedrooms (and certainly not out of the house) but everyone can crash in the living room. At 37 weeks pregnant, I can’t handle doing much laundry or housework so if you are staying over, bring your own sleeping bag, pillows and towels. With hyperemesis, I will puke if I smell a cooked breakfast but you are welcome to make yourselves toast. Please make sure you clean up the kitchen afterwards because, well, I’m pregnant and shouldn’t have to do it myself. Don’t worry about setting an alarm clock, the kids will be up at 5.30 to watch Pippa pig at full volume. Kids, what can you do? Oh, and please don’t get too rowdy with the kids in the house - no swearing or drunkeness in front of them. Looking forward to seeing everyone!

^love it!

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 26/09/2018 12:32

Absolutely do not tell anyone they can stay (5am Peppa wake up or not), some dickhead will still want to and will make a fuss when they're disturbed!
I agree, you (or DH) should put something on the FB group and like PP said, put something like "happy to start at ours but we will not be allowing people to stay over afterwards". No explanations required!

cheesefield · 26/09/2018 12:36

Classic CF-ery.

How many people is he talking about? Can't they get a taxi?

Original poster

Sonarbe · 26/09/2018 12:38

I think just not thinking rather than deliberate cheeky fuckery. They are really nice people and good friends of ours.

They have family close by so getting their children to stay elsewhere isn’t a big deal for them.

Everyone invited is their good friend so they’d be happy for them to stay at theirs. I think they’ve forgotten we barely know some of them.

Most people who haven’t experienced HG have no idea what it’s like, they probably think I’m not puking continuously now so I’m fine.

Anyway we have said no to everyone staying, said our friends are welcome to if they like but they are looking at getting a big taxi for everyone now.

OP posts:

Disquieted1 · 26/09/2018 12:43

They can pitch a tent in the garden. CFs.

Original poster

Sonarbe · 26/09/2018 12:49

This must be the only aibu ever with unanimous responses

OP posts:

maras2 · 26/09/2018 13:09

Not just CF but thick too.
Who on earth thinks that it's a good idea for drunk, over excited partygoers to invade the home of someone who's in late pregnancy, HG or not, has small children and limited space Fecking eejit. Just say NO.

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