To be annoyed FIL keeps opening DH post

[FairyFace]

So for some reason our postman keeps delivering husbands bank statements to FIL house, its up the road from us, we live in the country side, but clearly says DH name on it. A lot of the tme DH will come down with said post and say oh I opened it by mistake, he clearly doesn't and is fucking nosing at what we have in our bank. It pisses me right off and I feel like saying it to him , he lets on he is old and doddery but recently when he had to mind our kids, we normally never ask him, our daughter told us he was flicking through my husbands pricing/ quote book for jobs. I mean how nosey is this?! I usually have the quote book put away in our office / cupboard but I mean you would think having family in your home you wouldn't have to check that everything is put away etc. Im literally fuming . Nosey old git

Turn your paper statements off and opt to receive online ones only

Any chance you can speak to the local sorting office and ask them to take extra care with delivering seeing as your FIL won't listen to you?

You could solve the bank statement reading by speaking with the post office and asking them to deliver your mail properly. Strange that only bank statements are delivered to the wrong address, though.....

Go paperless- better for the environment and no one can open your post!

Request an application form for emigrating to Australia or some other remote place, for him to open.

I'd be having a word with your postman. And the sorting office.

Is it only bank statements that get delivered to him, or other mail too?

I'd just go paperless

What does your husband (the one whose privacy has been invaded) think?

Cancel paper statements and lock your private papers away.

Sign your DH up to some nursing homes mailing lists and get them delivered to your FiL's house.

I'd agree (unless you have to have a paper version of your statements for some reason) to going paperless for all bank statements and where possible, bills too.

Or post something yourself that looks official to your DH at your FiL's address and in it, you could put a note/letter that says "Stop reading our mail you nosey so-and-so. We know you do it so just stop!". If he tries to back out of it, you can call him out on it.

A copy of Toxic Parents accidentally sent to FILs address in DHs name should do the trick...

Reading other people’s mail is a gross invasion of privacy.

You simply cannot do it over and over by accident.

Have a strong word with fil and the postie

You can’t put any blame on the postman if it has the fathers address.

it doesn't have FIL address

Call me suspicious but is your postman a friend of your fil's?

It sounds like the FIL has requested your bank statements go to him. Its strange that it is the only thing of your husbands sent to him. Your DH needs to perhaps go through online banking and alter the settings to have his statements emailed to him. He can print out a copy himself if he needs it, as well as having an electronic copy.

@YearOfYouRemember the OP doesn’t say that it only says that the husbands name is on the letters.

I couldn't get upset about this.

When I lived in my own I used to open all mail that arrived through the letterbox, not cos I'm nosy but because there was no need to check it was for me.

My dc are teenagers but when their older and have their own homes I'd probably be curious enough to look in their order book to see how well they're doing.😁 as long as FIL isn't going round telling everyone your bank balance/order book details I wouldn't care.

What would you do if the statements were being delivered to another neighbour? Stop blaming FIL and sort the postman out.

Do you give your teenagers privacy when they get post happinessischocolate?

You don't nose through other people's stuff, try and drum that into your head before you get any older.

I thought it was illegal to open someone else's post.
That aside get you DH to have them emailed to him.

My FIL used to do the same. He even cashed a cheque for a tax rebate for DH, they have the same initials.
Speak to the bank and make sure they have the correct address!

OP if you ring the sorting office they'll have a word with the postma. I've had to do that before or as said go to paperless.

It says your husband's name, but is it your address or his dad's address on the letter?

They are legally obligated to deliver to the address on the letter, even if they know the named person does not live there. Someone could have chosen to send to a different address if they want to keep something away from the person they live with so the postman can't just pop it in your house if it's not your address.

If it is your address and they repeatedly do it then you do need to complain as they aren't allowed to do that. A mistake might happen but not over and over.

@happinessischocolate

You could then get your kids in huge trouble with GDPR. If the book is in a private room in their private home, and you go snooping and someone found out then they would be in trouble. And it would be entirely your fault as their book would have been in an office, which is allowed.

Talk to the postman. If their names are different and the address is yours then talk to him, make it your business yo meet him/her and say "Glad I caught you, post for me/dh keeps going to x address, can you make sure it stops immediately? Great, that's saves me writing in to complain"

If not, complain, this is a post issue

It's not illegal to open someone else's post, as long as it's not intended to deprive them of that post and contents.

So if fil is handing everything on to DH, he's not technically broken the law.

But that's a completely seoarate matter to the fact that DH is entitled to privacy, and Dil should not be snooping.

@happinessischocolate this also applies to you, your children are entitled to privacy, even from you.