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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to complain about comments in school newsletter

37 replies

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 16:16

My dp took the kids to school for me last thur, he drives a big purple and pink van. He finally found a place to park, but when doing so he was verbally abused by another driver taking kids to school as she couldnt get pass. My dp who was shocked by the language that came out of her mouth just apologised and moved his van a little futher down so that others could pass safely. Then today when my ds came home from school, as bold as brass was the mention of my dp van in the newsletter. It reads i quote:

Dangerous Driving/Parking
A purple/pink large transit van -
(Reg number)- was parked illegally
and, when pulling away, nearly
knocked down a parent. Please remember all our children's and parents' safety when parking near the school.

I was outraged, why the hell had this woman gone in to the school and tried to shame him with a pack of lies. Dp is fuming and has said that he wont take the kids to school again for me. I really want to complain to the school for printing this as it is total crap. He wasnt parked illegally and he definately didnt nearly knock anyone over. Im i right to be angry esp when there are parents out there that park on zig zags etc

OP posts:
Lilymaid · 11/06/2007 16:19

These sorts of disagreements should never appear in school newsletters, but they do (I remember one that went on for weeks). The school should be more sensible than to put this information out without checking further.

Freckle · 11/06/2007 16:20

I would write a formal letter of complaint to the Head. They cannot just regurgitate what they have been told without checking their facts. It is, in effect, libel - although I wouldn't suggest for one moment that you take legal action over it.

It might be a salutory lesson for the Head to check facts before publishing such a statement.

pinkrangerstartstowaddle · 11/06/2007 16:20

i would be fuming if that was me, you have every right to complain , ring the head if i was you.
Even if they wanted to mention vechiles/saftey they should generalise it!

Freckle · 11/06/2007 16:20

Keep the letter cool, calm and factual and demand that an apology is sent out in the next newsletter.

Aloha · 11/06/2007 16:21

Yes, it is absolutely libellous. I would ask for an apology in the next newsletter, and suggest that if they are going to print stuff like that in future, they check their facts first. Complain in writing.

compo · 11/06/2007 16:25

so he didn't nearly knock down a parent?

handlemecarefully · 11/06/2007 16:28

Outrageous! I'm not surprised you're cross

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 16:36

No compo he didnt nearly knock down a parent. I spoke to a mum in the playground who witness this incident. The thing is its a company van that easily recognisable and he hates to think that the complaint could go forward to his company and effect him at work. He is such a good driver and on this occassion said that his parking was a little inconsiderate which is why he said sorry and moved. He even reframed himself for swearing back as the kids were present.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 11/06/2007 16:38

If traffic/pedestrians couldn't get past, then he was parked illegally as he was causing an obstruction.

Don't know how I feel about the rest.

There is some really dangerous parking outside schools.

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 16:50

No he wasnt parked illegally, drivers could get past but they would have to go slower, which is why he felt that it was a little inconsiderate. After he moved another car parked there.

OP posts:
flightattendant · 11/06/2007 16:53

That's awful. Definitely complain.

Mercy · 11/06/2007 16:54

It may be the school's duty to remind parents re safe parking - but not to name and shame any individual.

I would complain.

shimmy · 11/06/2007 16:58

sounds like the parent who complained is a bit of a trouble maker judging by the swearing etc. Bet the school know her well and will be ready to believe your side of the story

Write a letter in to school saying how upset you/dp are by the untrue allegations and explain what really happened and then say that the woman's behaviour was aggressive and she used obscene language in front of children.

As the school has seen fit to publish the details of your identifiable van it seems only fair that they retract the complaint or at least publish a statement apologising for upset caused and asking all parents to refrain from aggression and swearing.

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:03

dp has said that he is going in to the school on wed to speak to the head. He is really upset not so much that they printed this statemnet but the fact that they printed his reg number.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 11/06/2007 17:04

I bet the parent who was ranting at him is in the PTA . That's why it got in the newsletter. If he wasn't parked illegally they shouldn't have said anything other than a general comment about needing to park carefully.

I would ask for an apology in the next newsletter.

Mercy · 11/06/2007 17:07

If the Head doesn't agree to publish an apology then tell your dp to contact the Governing Body.

Good luck.

BrothelSprouts · 11/06/2007 17:07

How very rude and devisive.
Complain in writing to the Headteacher, and insist that he/she proof reads the newsletter before it is sent out.

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:08

I understand fully that they need to remind parent about parking safely. I always find it a nightmare crossing roads near the school and there are always parents parking on the zig zags, but no one has mentioned them.

OP posts:
LIZS · 11/06/2007 17:11

A general comment is fine, after all I doubt your dh has been the only parking "offender" noted rightly or wrongly, but an individualised one based on a single emotive account is out of order. They must know whose it was and could have approached you direct if they felt it was important to raise.

kslatts · 11/06/2007 17:14

I would complain and ask them to print an apology in the next newsletter.

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:18

My dc school is always name and shaming parents that park or drive danerously, i dont know if anyone has ever complained

OP posts:
prettybird · 11/06/2007 17:22

We just issued the following in our School Board/PTA news letter:
"Parking on Yellow Lines
We would like to remind all parents and carers that the yellow lines outside the school are there to protect your children. Parking on them, even just briefly, endangers your own children and their friends ? and is an offence. Cars that continue to do so will have their number plates recorded and will be reported to the police."

While we have considered "naming and shaming", we would only do it with evidence, ie either witnesses and/or photos - so I can understand why your dp is pissed off.

bookwormmum · 11/06/2007 17:22

They shouldn't print reg numbers or details of the vehicles - esp as your DH's van sounds quite distinctive. A general reminder to park safely and be aware of small fry/parents milling around would have been much better and an apology should definitely be forthcoming. I've often moaned about the parking at my dd's school (and did mention my concerns on a recent survey) but I'd hate to see my comments in print in the school newsletter as I doubt if it would stop the problem that way. The carrot is much better than the stick IMHO.

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:30

We are lucky that one of the parents that witness this incident approached me in the playground to ask if dp was ok. She told me that the woman had regularly complained about drivers. She told me that dp hadnt done anything wrong and there were no parents crossing the road at the time when he moved. She admitted to being nosey in case this woman kicked off at him later. Im glad that she was being nosey cos at least we can say that she witness this and that dp had done nothing wrong.

OP posts:
prettybird · 11/06/2007 17:35

.. but the carrot dosen't work though, bookmwormmum.

At our school, we've had the head teacher remind people why it is imprtnat in her newsletters, we've had specific letters home about why it isi importnat, we've had parent son "yellow zig zag line" duty, apporaching parents hwo are parking on them and explainginwhy it is worng....

.... the only thng that works is when the local community policeman and/or a traffic warden stands on duty in the vicinity.

Not of which excuse the school for prining hearsay about kel4mum's dp, but you can understand their frusration.