Am I insecure?

[Newbabies15]

Ever since our dt were born, in laws only ever ask how they are and my husband of course - never anything about me. It's like I don't exist anymore. They used to message all the time asking how I was. I feel used. Like an incubator.

My parents always ask about us all and my grandmother always asks how I am and that I'm doing a great job because it's not easy looking after 2 babies.

I just feel pissed off with them. I don't exist to give them updates about the dts. My husband doesn't answer or is slow to. Mil also thinks it's my job to thank people for gifts (on my husband's side). I'm sorry but we are equal and that is his territory.

Yanbu.

MIL: How are DTs?
You: Great and I'm well too, thanks for asking.

And definitely stick to your guns on the gifts thing. It's not your job!

I think you are over thinking it. You are the one they have phoned and are talking to. It's only natural to ask how everyone else is. Are you overly bubbly on the phone so giving the wrong impression?

Perhaps you are a little tired from giving birth and feeling emotional.

My DH has this gripe with his mum. Whenever she phones/texts/visits she only ever asks about DS. It’s understandable that she asks after him of course, but ever since he was born she’s not once asked my DH how he is, how work is, etc. Her and I used to rub along ok but now the only times she ever gets in contact with me is asking when she can see DS. It doesn’t bother me but it upsets DH as that’s still his mum and she doesn’t seem at all interested in him any more. He feels replaced. YANBU. x

They are talking to me -but they never ask about me anymore. Suppose it's a generational thing. Once a woman has a baby she should shut up and put up. I feel like i shouldnt have a life anymore. If i say something like - oh im ..(doing something) my mil cuts across and starts talking about babies. She doesnt see anything else