Why don’t some people say thank you to your face?

[MarzipanFigures]

MIL rarely thanks me to my face. I could be talking to her for and she’ll not mention a favour or gift, but when she next speaks to DH she’ll tell him to tell me thanks. In fact most of the inlaws are like this. Is it a family habit or what?

It probably is a family thing and for whatever reason she finds it embarrassing to say 'thank you'. I have the opposite 'problem' in that my parents are so gushing in their thanks and really over do it. If I thank them for something (they still quite like a formal thank you letter, & they do give very generous financial gifts) then they call me to thank me. The most ordinary mug of coffee gets a huge thank you, I know it's petty but I actually find it irritating and now if I give my mother something I actually say 'no need for a formal thank you'.

My aunt is like this. Makes me laugh because she prides herself on being a 'Victorian lady' type. Definitely born before her time. She sweeps out of shops with a "Good Day". but when I give her anything she rarely says thank you, She does, to be fair. squeal and make appreciative noises when I buy her favourite -hard to find where she lives- Atrixo hand
cream though.

In some cultures it's rude to open a present in front of guests or to thank them for one then and there.

Because some people are fake and just like to keep up appearances.

She basically has given a falsely nice impression of herself on her son while disregarding you.

BarbarianMum they’re from Liverpool, British.

Failingat40 Yes that’s what it seems like. I have noticed she doesn’t say please or thank you in shops or restaurants either.

SIL is like this.
She didnt bother my whole pregnancy then asked DH a week after i had a hospital stay for zero movements how i was (note - not how baby was).
He text her back asking why she couldnt just message me. She didnt. Tit.

This annoys me a lot. I know someone like this. I can do all sorts of things for them but they won't thank me. I occasionally get a text saying thanks but it's hit and miss. Rude.

Don't know if it's applicable here but some might find thank you awkward? I don't like being given gifts because I'm unsure how to say thank you without seeming like I've not done it well enough/convincing enough etc. I do say it however. But would rather the whole thing just didn't happen. As a child I never wanted birthday parties or to spend xmas with people other than my immediate family because the whole thank you afterwards was so excruciating.

It’s not shyness, MIL is quick to say if she doesnt like something!l, so I am going to presume it’s just trying to look good to DH but treating me like shit.

Oh well, no more favours, that’ll put a stop to it!

Because they are rude and haven’t been brought up to thank a person properly. My in-laws are like this. My own DC has had it drilled into him to thank people since he was little, just as I was. I feel sanctimonious writing this