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AIBU?

To wonder why I get self-conscious when out alone?

33 replies

LateLatte · 24/09/2018 23:15

Is it just me? I go walking, shopping or to the supermarket with family/friends and don't notice or care about other people. If I go on my own I feel super self aware. If I walk back to something I've passed I feel like people will be watching me wondering why I am walking around like a crazy woman! When I'm walking on the street I feel I look awkward and don't know what to do with my hands. I aren't generally of low self esteem so why do I feel like this when I am alone?!!

OP posts:
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ScattyScorpian · 25/09/2018 00:17

I'm sure a lot of us feel that way depending on our mood at the time so no it's definitely not just you. When I'm feeling particularly anxious I feel like I'm walking weirdly and I don't know where to look! Sometimes I'll just gety phone out and ring someone as to distract myself.

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InsomniacAnonymous · 25/09/2018 00:20

Every single time I go out I wish the invisibility cloak from Harry Potter was real and I had one.

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MereDintofPandiculation · 25/09/2018 00:57

If I realise I should have turned L rather than right I'll find something to go and have a look at before I turn round and retrace my steps, so it's not so obvious that I haven't a clue what I'm doing. ... Probably a universal feeling - if my cat finds out that the mouse he has been stalking is just a leaf, he does all sorts of things to pretend he had a perfectly good reasons and never even considered there might be a mouse there.

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Bluesheep8 · 25/09/2018 06:10

I just tell myself that people have got far more important things to worry about than what I'm doing. And that most haven't even noticed me. And repeat...

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jemihap · 25/09/2018 07:00

I had a work colleague who wouldn't even walk 50 yards around the corner to the sandwich shop on her lunch break unless someone else was going too because she didn't want to be seen walking along the street alone!

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unexpectedtwist · 25/09/2018 07:12

People really do have far more important things to do than watch you. In the nicest possible way you're not important to random members of the public.

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AGHHHH · 25/09/2018 07:18

I'm the same. Aware of how I'm walking, where I'm looking, worrying if I look angry or sad etc!

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strawberrisc · 25/09/2018 07:19

Listen to music through headphones. I find it tunes out the world!

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kaytee87 · 25/09/2018 07:22

No, people in the street have more important things to do than look at you. I mean that kindly.

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MereDintofPandiculation · 25/09/2018 07:57

When I'm walking on the street I feel I look awkward and don't know what to do with my hands. Put them in your pockets or carry something. I find it's when they're dangling loose that I feel conscious of them.

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DisplayPurposesOnly · 25/09/2018 07:58

Everyone is too busy worrying about what everyone else thinks of them, to think about you Grin

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Laiste · 25/09/2018 08:03

I'm getting better as i get older but i have this too OP. Lots of people will say it helps to remember that no one's looking at anyone else; however, personally i DO notice everyone else and i do look at what people have chosen to wear ect. ... so i've fallen into my own trap basically! Karma Grin

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EvaHarknessRose · 25/09/2018 08:10

We’re social/herd animals - feel more vulnerable alone, don’t want to draw attention of predators?

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justbinthefeckinbyebyebox · 25/09/2018 08:18

I used to be the same, but if you really think about the situation you'd never get out of the door. I can still get worked up about it no, but I have to go out. Put a smile on your face, really helps me, then people tend to say hello or smile back, feels so much better! ( This lack of paragraph thing is getting a PITA!)

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Aprilsinparis · 25/09/2018 08:34

Thank God, it's not just me. As soon as I walk out the door, I feel as though everybody is falling over themselves to look out the window, and be super critical. I know I'm nothing special, but I can't help it.

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PoisonousSmurf · 25/09/2018 08:38

Suppose it depends on where you are. If it's the city and busy, then it's not too bad to be walking alone. But in a quiet street it can feel weird, especially if it's in a rough area. You feel that you are being watched! But I can walk all by myself in the countryside and feel perfectly at ease. Other people are the reason we feel uneasy?

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PoisonousSmurf · 25/09/2018 08:40

Thanks for the comment about the paragraphs. I thought it was my keyboard messing up. I'll have to say sorry to it now...

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MaggieSimpsonsPacifier · 25/09/2018 08:41

I don’t - purely because I put my iPod on and listen to that. Would that help? Sorry I can’t do paragraphs this morning, but I also feel a bit self-conscious if i’m by myself without music, especially if i’ve been daft enough to try jogging. But with the music - ah, in my head I’m a slinky version of me (i’m 2 stone off slinky) usually wearing something fabulous like a little skirt and amazing heels (that I can’t walk in, post kids), in a super-cool bar (haven’t been to one of those for about 2 years) that just happens to contain one or two of my exes (who don’t know each other so why would they be there together), who don’t dare to come over because of just how fabulous I am, but just stare jealously from afar, regretting every decision they ever made. Even more so when the unbelievably hot singer pulls me up onstage and the sound of liquid gold bubbles out of my lips (I can’t really sing) whilst I rock and shimmy around the stage (I really can’t dance)... the public might see a greying middle aged woman shuffling around Sainsbury’s picking up nappies and carrots, but who cares about that?!

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SugarandVinegar · 25/09/2018 08:51

@Maggie that's a hell of a mental picture - bloody fabulous you.

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thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 25/09/2018 08:59

I cannot identify with this at all. YABU.

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MaggieSimpsonsPacifier · 25/09/2018 09:01

Haha sugar - keep your eyes peeled in the fruit and veg aisle and if you see someone mouthing the words to a cheesy song whilst choosing an avocado, you’ll know why Grin

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justbinthefeckinbyebyebox · 25/09/2018 10:10

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie what is the point of that!!!???!!!

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Alconleigh · 25/09/2018 10:26

I do a lot on my own OP. Eating out, having a pint, travel, museums, etc etc. I have to, I am single, and most of my friends live a distance away and are in the small children stage of life. And I'm not going to let life pass me by because I wont do stuff on my own.

You just need to remember that, in the nicest sense, No One Cares. Getting older helps with this; I am in my forties now and gosh it's liberating when you realise no one really cares what anyone else is doing (as long as it's not adversely affecting them, obviously). Also It's really not odd to be doing things on your own; the idea that everyone else is in a group just isn't true, if you actually look around you.

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KERALA1 · 25/09/2018 10:39

Maybe seek counselling? Sounds an inhibited way to view the world. Wouldn't occur to me 1. Why would anyone be interested 2. Why would I care if they were?

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Aprilsinparis · 25/09/2018 10:57

KERALA1 You sound a very confident person, not everyone is.

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