WIBU to retrain in a career where I would earn far less money?

[Ennirem]

I am currently a professional within HE. Best prospects in my specialty I could one day hope to earn say £60k pa (currently around £30-40 depending on institution/role).

But...

I want to work in a nursery with babies/toddlers. They are just the best, whenever I go to drop off/pick up my daughter I just want to stay there all day, and not just for her - even the waily ones I just love them and could spend all day with them. I find nothing more interesting or enjoyable than being with little ones, even the nappies and the yucky bits.

Best money I could EVER hope to make in this field is less than I'm on now - and doing the room work, which is the bit I'd like, I'd not break £25k.

So would this be totally unfair to my (higher earning) partner and daughter? We'd still be able to have a decent life, but I wouldn't be contributing equally and we would have less money spare for nice things like holidays, extracurricular activities, days out etc.

WIB totally U? I know if I asked my DP about it he wouldn't stop me, but he's very outcomes focused so I know he wouldn't understand why I would voluntarily reduce our income either...

Have you looked at what you could potentially earn as a successful childminder? Really good ones are hard to come by and always have waiting lists. I can’t imagine you could match your salary but the freedom of self employment is something many people enjoy.

Thanks for the advice ladies. I did think about childminding, but I can't guarantee I'd do an equal job if i was looking after my own child alongside others - I would do my very best but she'd always come first which wouldn't be fair. I know I couldn't be in her room at nursery, but at least we'd be in the same building and I'd see her now and again - the manager at my daughter's nursery has her son there and pops up to see him now and again. and you'd waste no potential contact time commuting... but really it's just a dream. We planned our lives based on an expected income and a certain standard of living, it wouldn't be fair on my DP to move the goalposts now just because it's my preference. I'll just have to wait for the glorious socialist revolution, or the collapse of modern society I suppose (possible upside to Brexit??)

I'd look into going part-time, tbh. That way you'd actually get more time for your daughter now, but you'd still have the opportunity to increase your hours/salary in the future when you might find that's what you want then.

'I can't guarantee I'd do an equal job if i was looking after my own child alongside others - I would do my very best but she'd always come first which wouldn't be fair.' - I think this is the crux of it - this is not about feeling a vocation towards small dc in general, this is about your dd and your feelings in struggling with being apart from her, possibly also relating to dissatisfaction at work. The nursery idea is a fantasy escape, which is fine if you see it as such. But I don't think it would be a good idea to act on it. Think instead of how you can arrange the status quo so it works better for you.

It does sound like you want more time with your daughter than working in childcare as such. And that’s completely fine! Would it be better to look at part time work for now, so you get more contact but keep your hand in your career so when she’s at school/you’re back in work full time you have your projected income?

Sounds mental but could you set up your own childcare /nursery business?

You don't want to work at a nursery (on minimum wage, being exploited until you quit and they replace you without a moment's thought), you want to see your daughter. Go part time, flexi or freelance. Don't screw up your family's finances and your career because you're missing your daughter. The minute she's off to school you'll realise what a huge mistake you've made.

But what would you do when your daughter leaves nursery and starts school? You won't be able to just up and leave and go into teaching.

I worked in a nursery for 5 years, then in nursery recruitment for another 5. I would look at retraining as a childminder if you own your own home. Or being a nanny. Being room based in a nursery you’d be lucky to get £20,000 if you’re outside London. Independent nurseries are struggling to continue as the larger chains can offer cheaper childcare and are buying up the smaller, independent settings. The old name etc is often kept for some tim, so it doesn’t appear obvious. The larger chains don’t give a monkeys about the kids - it’s all about bums in seats and cost-cutting. You get to spend very little quality time with the children.

You are all right of course. It's her I want to be with - I do love little kids in general, but in a way it would be even worse looking after other people's children when as you say it's her I want to be with. But my current job is just horribly unfulfilling and I find it hard to imagine what job could ever be as interesting or joyful as being with her. I guess i just figured if I'm going to be away from her all day every day I should at least be doing something worthwhile/vaguely enjoyable! Just having money isn't enough of a good reason (for me) - but I know it is to my other half, he has no urge to go part time to spend more time with her. And as he works full time (and earns more than me even on my full time wage) it seems very wrong for me to go part time, as I'd then be having everything my own way iyswim. I contribute less money and get to spend more time happy with her while he continues to work all day every day and provide the majority of our income.

I do think it's important to be happy in your job but I would warn you that 25.000 is optimistic for a nursery nurse job. Also it's not all playing with babies - there is cleaning, planning, paperwork, food prep, dealing with extremely rude people to add to that. If you are still. Interested then, yes, go for it! I have done it for 20 years and still love it