To wonder if DH has PND?

[TwittleBee]

Last night we went on a much needed date night to a local pub whislt my mum had DS.

DH confessed he's down, he's struggling and he feels that he hates being a Dad more than he loves it. It's causing him so much guilt and conflict. He said he loves our DS and he doesn't want to stop trying for another baby but he just doesn't know how to be a good Dad but doesn't wanna lose his dream of having a big family.

I have noticed the change in him. I've past few months he's become less his usual laid back and chilled self. He's become more easily frustrated and irritated at things. Our relationship is fine, luckily, beyond a bit of snapping it doesn't seem to be taking its toll between us. But I have noticed that the closeness between DH and DS has gone a bit.

I guess I'm worried DH is suffering with (delayed? As DS is 15 months) PND. And it's been overlooked because I had PND and the so the focus was on me. DH really helped me through that and I'm wondering if it's now all crashing around him more?

I did ask him if he felt like he had it but he said he doesn't know, he just knows he isn't himself.

Should I get him to go talk to a GP?

That does sound like he's depressed, maybe worth him talking to a GP.

Though would reassure him its OK to hate it more than you love it. I think it gets better as they grow up personally and do more, he maybe like that. Sometimes spending time with the child that's enjoyable can help e.g. cuddling, going out together.

Get him to a gp and FFS do NOT get pregnant again until your husband is truly emotionally ready. Putting another baby into this mix would be disastrous.

Might be a little drop in confidence. Which may be why he is getting irritable with himself and is not as laid back as he was.
Its okay reading and doing research on being dad but a whole other world when the reality comes along.

Its very much a learn on the job type of thing.

Did your DH grow up around younger siblings? or have younger DN's? Just a thought.

The good news is that you are discussing it openly.

Thank you all for replying. I shall encourage him to go see a GP. Maybe get a counselling session booked up for him. I am worried as I know how horrid it can feel. Penguinsetpandas I did, thankfully, think to reassure him it's okay to be finding it hard and exhausting and not enjoyable. I think he's finding it extra hard as we have so much other stuff as well as DS going on atm too. Aquamarine1029 yeah see this is kinda my feeling too, I don't think it's fair on DH or any of us to bring in another baby into this situation, especially if then too get PND again. noego he's essentially grown up as an only child due to the age gap between him and his older brother and he didn't have any cousins or family friends etc.