Aibu?

[Toastiesalldaylong]

So last Sunday I started bleeding, I should have been 6 weeks pregnant. I went to mh doctors and they sent me to the hospital for a scan and blood tests. They told me they were worried about ectopic pregnancy and to wait at home resting but not to do anything strenuous or to go too far from the hospital. Obviously I panicked.

Anyway I was going back for repeat bloods every 48 hours which were staying the same and my hormones weren't dropping or rising. So they said either ectopic or just a miscarriage.

Saturday night I passed the pregnancy (I've had a mc before so knew what it was). I rang epau who had been seeing me and asked for a sick note. They told me they don't give out sick notes for this kind of thing? They told me to contact GP but he told me as I haven't been seeing him for this I need to get it from the hospital. I don't understand. I've literally just miscarried. I'm still bleeding. All I wanted was a week to come to terms with another loss and have some time to pull myself back together. I do quite a manual job. I said this to the lady on the phone at the hospital and she was quite dismissive saying the 'head nurse' would put a note on my file that I wanted a sick note for in two weeks time when I go back to have bloods checked again. This is no use to me so here I am back at work. I'm hiding in the toilets to type this. My boss is aware I've miscarried and was surprised to see me back this morning.

Aibu? I'm not trying to skive I just wanted some time.

Can you self certify or did you use that up last week?

Sorry you are going through this!

Ring your gp's again and ask for an emergency appointment. Hospitals cannot sign you off work sick, your doctor must do this.

Hi @LIZS last week when I had bleeding etc my work told me to stay off so I did. I don't think I could have done my job (work with children) because my mind was all over the place.

@wildewillow that's what I don't understand. For my previous mc the hospital gave me a sick note and on Friday before I actually miscarried (so just having bloods etc) they told me they would give me a sick note? When I said this today the woman said the head nurse said they don't give sick notes for my situation? Is it because Ive miscarried early?? So they are calling it a failed pregnancy???

So sorry op its bad enough going through a mc without this as well. I agree to get to gp today and if they cabt give you a sick note for the physical side of whats happened they might be able to give you one for stress.

Sadly it's possible that it is just seen as a late period, and they might not realise you've already self-certificated for a week. That said, they've said they will give you one in 2 weeks time so will your employer let you have the time off anyway if you take the certificate in when you get it?

Hospitals cannot sign you off work sick,

Yes they can

Hi OP this sounds so stressful for you given what you're going through. You can (and should) self certify for up to the first 7 days in a row then you need a note. It's frustrating for you but unless the EPAU have written to your GP they won't be able to do your note. It should be coming from EPAU. If they have written to the GP they would probably be able to do it with a phone call appointment (but is not actually their responsibility, it's the clinic that should do this as they were the clinicians treating you). Hope you get it sorted soon

That's awful I'm so sorry. My GP would have done it once they had the documents from the hospital. I can't remember if I had a sick note straight from surgery years ago. I think so.

@DontTouchTheMoustache Yes it's not making things easier tbh and people kept asking me this morning if I am feeling better from my illness last week (only my boss at work is aware).

@minisoksmakehardwork
They do know I self certified last week because they told me I couldn't work as my job involves lifting and I was told not to lift anything over 10kg until I knew if it was ectopic. Also because of the ongoing bleeding I mentioned that my boss said to stay at home. I feel like they haven't really read my file when I've rang this morning (the woman stared by asking how many weeks pregnant I am...none now). I don't think they'll actually give me a sick note in two weeks she just said they'd make a note that I had requested one. Also I only want a few days off work not two weeks so can't really wait two weeks.

I don't think they are communicating very well. When I go for my bloods it's been healthcare's who while have been fine taking my blood etc clearly don't know why I'm there. And then when my hormones didn't rise I just got a call to say not a viable pregnancy. I asked what now and the woman on the phone just said she didn't know? It's been a bit crap tbh.

Peterrabbitscarrots - I'm a sonographer. I work in EPAU. The hospital I work at doesn't sign people off work sick.

@wildewillow I understand that but my epau definitely does because they have for my previous mc. Also today they said they don't sign them for 'my situation' whatever that means. Either that they think because it was only 6 weeks I should just get over it and crack on or they haven't read my file and what's been going on for the past week.
:-( feeling very sad on the worlds longest break atm

Could you take a couple of days holiday leave?

@Claw001 wish I could but we are currently chronically understaffed :-(

I'm just trying to get on with it. One of my colleagues is bringing her new baby in this afternoon so I'm hoping to avoid her. Awful I know but I just don't trust how I feel right now not to cry or something.

If you were off sick with a note, they would still be under staffed! What would they do if you were off sick?

You need some time to recoup.

I know ☹️ Sadly all leave is done via computer system and it just doesn't accept leave if we have two members off already (currently 4 due to staff leaving). My boss could go to his boss to authorise it I think but his attitude tends to be if no sick note then no need to be off.

Maybe I'm just being precious. I was only 6 weeks so I need to pull myself together :-(

The hospital I work at doesn't sign people off work sick.

They should be. See attached guidance from gov.uk

I hate when vulnerable patients like the OP are sent on the runaround trying to get a sick line

Not being precious at all OP. You have suffered a loss. You need some time to recoup, both mentally and physically.

You only want a couple of days, you could have longer off for a bloody cold!

Personally I would go to GP, he might not have treated you for mc, of course he wouldn’t have! But he will have access to your medical records and can see you have suffered a mc!

@Claw001 thank you for being so kind :-) I rang GP and they said they'd sort it and ring me back. But weirdly the hospital just rang to say I can have a sick note ? I'm not sure if my GP rang and spoke to them or what has gone on but they've given me two weeks now! I'm meant to be off Thursday and Friday this week anyway so I'll probably go back Monday :-) thank you all for your advice :-)

I’ve suffered miscarriages myself, you neeed some time to cry, to mend, to recover

Glad you’ve got it sorted. Get home, put your feet up. Be kind to yourself x

Thank you :-) this is my second :-( thought it would be alright because everyone kept saying how uncommon two in a row are but I guess I'm just unlucky!

I had 3 before I had my first son. I now have 3 kids, with another 2 mc’s in between.

Hang in there OP. Take care of yourself x

@Claw001 it's reassuring to hear of people who have gone on to have successful pregnancies, thank you for sharing 🙂 xxx

So sorry for your loss op

It’s a horrible time emotionally and physically isn’t it. I remember looking at pregnant women and thinking why not me!

So glad, you’ve now got some time off