AIBU or is DH? Dropping him off at work
Mumsnes · 24/09/2018 08:51
I may be being oversensitive as DH had gallbladder surgery last week and I have looked after him ever since, he hasn't had to lift a finger all week and has been able to rest and do exactly what he wants whilst I wait hand and foot on him (and rightly so, I just hope he would do the same for
He is self employed in a quite physical role and worked Friday and today, against everyone else telling him to rest but he is being sensible and only doing 'light work' and resting lots in between (only admin at home for the rest of the week barring one meeting).
Today he is working at DD school. I have just dropped them off. The entrance gate to the school is I'm a terrible spot, a blind corner of a residential road - not busy like a main road but lots of potential for an accident. As it was earlier than the rest of the children going in and the road was quiet, I pulled up to the gate barrier for them to jump out on the safest side of the road and so he is closer to school. It also.meakes it easier for me to quick turn back the way I came. I pulled towards it and he said 'we aren't going in the carpark' and I said 'I know, I'm just getting you both close whilst it's quiet and I can turn around'.
As he got out, I looked in my rearview mirror to see his colleague for the day mouth 'fuck' as I put my reverse lights on to show my next intentions. I'm not sure why he did that when I'm sure he would have known it was us, or if not then potentially a member of school staff or another parent (if he didn't recognise the car) and he is mouthing a swear word at the entrance to where he will work with primary school children all day!
DH said 'look now you're causing a whole host of trouble' and called to the colleagues car 'silly woman, silly woman'. Then he walked off with DD towards school.
I waved at the colleague in apology as I reversed out and he smiled and waved back.
But I feel so embarrassed and want to cry which I appreciate is a bit OTT but I just feel this way, I'm not usually a flower!
I don't know if I am embarassed because I made a bad call 'innocently' when I had good intentions or because DH mocked me for doing so!
Was I BU?
The road was quiet with no other cars than the one behind me which I didn't realise was the colleague when I pulled in. There is always the potential for a car to come around the corner which is why I wanted DD closer to the school as well as making the walk shorter for DH.
TwitterQueen1 · 24/09/2018 08:59
I'm finding it difficult to understand what your AIBU is.
You sound very resentful of having to look after your DH.
Not sure why mouthing 'fuck' outside a primary school should be a problem for you.
I have no sympathy with anyone driving right up to school entrances and making what would appear to be either an illegal or an awkward manoeuvre. It sounds as if your DH could easily have walked a short distance.
DH called you a 'silly woman' - to a car, not to a person - and it does sound as if you did do a silly thing.
And in the scheme of things, this is hardly a biggie! Chalk it up to experience and move on.
Mumsnes · 24/09/2018 09:06
Diagram of road. There is cars parked alongside the houses at the left and this is where I would usually park of I was getting out and walking in - there's a long raised kerb bit. You can't park on the grass verge side as cars wouldn't know you were there as they came from the corner.
Mumsnes · 24/09/2018 09:08
I don't know even know what my AIBU is to be honest!
I don't resent looking after him at all but it stings when he turns on me when I've been doing so much for him.
Sassielassie · 24/09/2018 09:16
I think u are probably angry because he called you silly after you have looked after him all week. That one flippant comment is probably causing resentment. Its not like while you were looking after him he was shouting wonderful woman at you so although hes not quick to sing your praises hes quick to point your faults. He may be feeling frustrated at his lack of independance since being off and may be taking it out on you as you are closest to him. Tell him how it made you feel and ask him not to do it again as it upset you and you dont appreciate him calling you names in front of your child.
Twotailed · 24/09/2018 09:19
I don’t think it’s fair to say he turned on you. More like he was acknowledging the awkward manoeuvre to his colleague. Having said that it’s patronising to call you a silly woman so YANBU to be cross about that.
DisplayPurposesOnly · 24/09/2018 09:28
Well, all 3 of you cocked up a bit there. Agree 'silly woman' is fucking annoying ('sorry about that' would have done) but if he doesnt have form for that sort of comment, I'd let it go -seething inwardly-
Juells · 24/09/2018 09:40
I can't believe someone is going back to work so soon after gall bladder surgery. But I'd be livid to be called a silly woman when trying to get as close to the school as possible so he wouldn't have to walk too far.
Singlenotsingle · 24/09/2018 10:22
Really, you were the one in the wrong if you were effectively doing a 3 point turn in the school entrance. (I know, because I do that one occasionally when there's nowhere to park!) If I was behind, and wanting to drive into the school carpark, I'd be annoyed too!
Singlenotsingle · 24/09/2018 10:27
Although, he's an ungrateful git, so next time just drop him off half a mile away!
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