Am I losing my mind?

[Flowersandblack]

Sorry to post this here but I'm feeling really troubled and need someone to talk to.

Bit of back ground. I lost my mum 5 years ago was living with my parents at the time I was only 23. I dont want to insult anyone by saying I developed OCD or that I am OCD I hate it when people chuck that term around but I did notice a huge shift in my personality. All of a sudden I become extremely organised and very particular about the house work and constant need for De cluttering.

I met dh had my dd who is now 2 and got married we now live together and I'm still the same extremely organised, can't stand mess. I do the jobs some people might consider every 6 month jobs almost weekly. I get angry if my dh makes mess but have a lot of patience for Dd. Also worth mentioning I had pnd after dd which lasted around 10 months. I did get help for this but didn't mention any of my other traits as ivr never seen them as a problem.

I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with dc2 and for the last few nights I've been suffering with scary thoughts and images in my mind that keep me awake. Their never about my dd or the baby but say I'm visualising a cute kitten before i drift off to sleep all of a sudden the kitten with morphe into some sort of demon/zombie cat (just an example) I've had intrusive thoughts for a long time but never acted on them for felt like I was going to act on them. I've felt safe but these new scary thoughts are bothering me.

What is going on with me? Should I see a doctor? I dont feel depressed of anything in really happy day to day but my cleaning routine has kicked up a few notches and my need to be so organised is causing a problem. I felt irrationally angry on Friday when dds nursery gave my daughter's cheap water bottle to another child to take home by mistake. I knew I would probably get it back on Monday but that hasn't stopped me making a special trip out over the weekend to buy her a new (much more expensive one)

What shall I do?

Is this OCD or something else?

I think you can get odd dreams when you're pregnant OP. So it may be nothing at all...just weird hormones?

Their not dreams it's before i go to sleep and I'm just lying there relaxing trying to drift off.

Sorry should of said I didn't make that point very clear I apologise!

Hypnagogic or hypnopompic hallucinations (sleep hallucinations which can be visual, tactile, auditory, or some other type of sensory event) are something that happens to you during the transition phase, when you are still awake and drifting off to sleep, or when you are asleep but your brain is beginning to wake up. Most people will experience one at some point in their life so they are pretty common. I suffer from them on a fairly regular basis and I often find them quite scary. I have to be careful not to view or think about anything negative in the hour before I go to sleep as it will often manifest in a hypnagogic hallucination. As previously mentioned, your pregnancy and the disruption to your hormones may well be affecting your dreams. If the dreams don't stop after you've had your baby or are becoming more intrusive, then see your GP to discuss it.

Finest thank you! That does sound really scary i have ever had anything like it before obviously i have had strange dreams before even really lucid ones and as a teen I had sleep paralysis once or twice but I know that is extremely common so although was scary at the time never worried myself over it. I will keep a close eye on it and see if it improves if it doesn't I will get myself to the gp.

I had terrible dreams when I was pregnant. Awful nightmares that really disturbed me. I think it's worth chatting to your midwife about the feelings you have. You've been through so much and maybe chatting to someone would help. Grief is a very powerful thing. X